"So, I think we need to lay down a couple of ground rules." I told him as he sat down beside me."You have four months to attempt to make me fall for you. I'm not giving my address, texting only, and there is no way in heck I am sleeping with you. Simple enough or do I need to spell it out for you?"
"I think I got it, thanks. Ok, first order of business, you're going to spend the rest of the night with me and my friend."
"Says who?" I asked.
"Says me. You can't argue with the suit."
"I beg to differ. I do it all the time." He gasped.
"How dare you?" I rolled my eyes and he turned to his friend. "Ted. Ted. Ted. Ted. Ted!"
"What?" The guy, presumably Ted, asked annoyed.
"Let's bail. We're on a tight schedule. I've got this entire evening perfectly planned out. Spoiler alert, our last stop is an after-hours club so after hours it's three days from now. What up?"
"Are you blind? I'm making out with a twelve. I'm winning." Ted replied.
"Yeah, but I didn't get to help."
"So you're saying you want me to throw away a super hot girl just because you didn't help me get her?"
"Apology accepted, let's go."
"Who's the suit." The girl asked.
"Um, this is Barney. Barney, Amy."
"I'm not gonna remember that. Now if you'll excuse me, random chick from earlier tonight, as you shall henceforth be know, Ted, Lauren, and I have a schedule to keep."
"Who?" Ted asked. I leaned around Barney, waving.
"Hi. We have a bet, he can't get me to fall for him in four months." Ted nodded as if this was the most normal thing in the world.
"Oh, well you can check off '8:54, dress up like a dork and bother the cool kids.' Beat it nerd." The girl replied.
"Is this a bad teen movie?" I asked, stepping up beside Barney.
"Great stuff, Tommy Lee. See, what you don't understand is I'm Ted's Wingman. It's a sacred bond, much stronger than any-"
"And they're making out again." I told him. "That's unfortunate." Amy took a bottle from behind the counter and the dragged us to the back of the room.
"What are you doing? They know us here, you're gonna get us in trouble."
"Tell me something, do you ask your tailor to leave extra room in the crotch for your huge vagina?" Ted laughed.
"You...your...Ted this chick is crazy, we're leaving."
"Good idea. Let's all go back to my place."
"Your place? Uh, thanks, but no thanks, 1994 Courtney Love. " I held up a hand and he high-fived it.
"I have a hot tub."
"You can't be serious." I told him.
~~~
"Ok, this is actually pretty nice."
"You could get in, dweeb." Amy told me as I sat in a chair nearby.
"No thanks, I actually have some form of decency, so I'm gonna have to pass." I told her.
"I like your tats."
"Thanks. You should get one."
"Wrong! Ted has a classic, clean-cut look that never goes out of style season after season. Burn!"
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Challenge Accepted(A Barney Stinson/HIMYM Fan-fiction) BOOK ONE
FanfictionBarney Stinson is...a pig to say the least. He's slept with countless girls, always wears a suit, and lives his life by his beloved playbook. He is also never one to back down from a challenge. When Barney is challenged by Lily to get a certain girl...
