Challenge Accepted(A Barney Stinson/HIMYM Fan-fiction) BOOK ONE

Chapter Twenty: Go Home

(I EXTENDED THE LAST CHAPTER, SO IF YOU DIDN'T CATCH IT, YOU MIGHT WANT TO GO BACK AND READ IT)

Barney and I showed up to Ted's place to find a bracket on a blackboard.

"That's because in the past we were just guessing. This year, we watched every game, read box scores, tracked injuries. This isn't March Madness, this is March Meticulously Thought-outness." Ted explained to Lily.

"Your team lost twenty minutes ago." Barney told them, holding up his phone.

"I didn't know they were playing today."  Ted and Marshall sat down. Barney pulled me into his lap with a sigh.

"Everything ok, guys?" Lily asked.

"Something strange is going on." Barney told her. "So we were on a date the other day..."

~~~one week earlier~~~

I walked down the sidewalk with Barney, both of us laughing. That's one of the things that I love most about our relationship. We have a good time together.

"Hey, you want a hot dog?" He asked, nodding at the carta few feet away.

"Yeah, sure. Thanks." He walked over, and I waited for him. A blonde girl suddenly stopped in front of me.

"You're making a mistake." She said. I rasied my eyebrows.

"Excuse me?"

"I know he seems charming now, but he'll turn around and toss you away once he's done with you. Getting involved with Barney Stinson is the worst mistake I ever made. Don't make the same one."

"What-" She ran away and Barney returned with two hot dogs. He handed it to me and I looked around for the girl.

"You ok?" He asked me.

"Some girl just told me to stay away from you."

"What?"

"She said getting involved with you was the worst mistake she ever made, and told me not to make the same one."

"That's weird." He said. I nodded.

"You're telling me.

~~~

"And then,we were at the bar yesterday." I spoke up.

~~~Yesterday~~~

I sat at the booth with Barney, my feet in his lap, reading a book.

"I'm gonna go get another scotch. You want one?"

"Please." I moved my feet and he got up.  Then someone from the booth behind me whispered in my ear.

"I warned you. Last chance to leave Barney Stinson before he leaves you." I turned around, but she was already gone. Barney came back, setting my drink in front of me.

"What are you looking at?"

"That girl was back! The one from last week."

"Where did she go?" He asked.

"I don't know, I lost her again."

~~~

"It sounds like she's threatening you." Lily said worriedly.

"Yeah, that's what I thought." I said. "It's really starting to scare me."

"Just wait it out. Surely she won't come back a third time right?" Lily asked.

~~~

Lily sat across from us, grading papers while I read my book again.

"Who was that guy from M-A-S-H? The main guy. What...Hawkeye from M-A-S-H. How can I be blanking on this?" Barney asked.

"Alan Alda?" Lily and I said together.

"No." He got up going to the bar. I glanced up for a moment, and that's when I saw her.

"Why are you stalking me!?" I exclaimed, causing Lily to look up.

"I am trying to help you. Take my advice or I swear you are going to regret it!" She ran off, disappearing in the crowd.

"You saw her, right!?" I asked. Lily nodded.

"Alan Alda. It was Alan Alda." Barney said, sitting back down.

"You aren't going to believe what just happened." Lily said.

"She came back again."

"Oh, my gosh. Where is she?"

"She's gone." I said.

"Ok, stay calm. We'll think this through. One of the girls who I lied to, seduced and abandoned is trying to ruin my relationship. Shouldn't be too hard to figure out which one it is."

"Look, I don't know what you did, but this is really scaring me, Barney."

"Maybe you should stay away from each other for a while. Until we figure this out." Lily suggested.  Barney and I looked at each other.

"What do you mean? Like...break up?" Barney asked, looking at me.

"No, not break up necessarily. Maybe you should just...avoid going out in public together for a while."

"No. Whoever this chick is, she's not going to scare me away fromyou guys and Barney. We just have to find out who she is."

~~~

"It's Karma." Lily said as we all sat in the bar.

"Nah, it's not Karma. SHe's stripping in Vegas. Plus, we're good."

"Look, if you want to figure out who it is, why don't you just start by checking your list?" Ted asked.

"My list?"

"Dude, do not pretend you're not the kind of guy who keeps a list of all the girls he's slept with." I rasied my eyebrows.

"I have one. It's called my marriage license." Lily and Marshall high-fived.

"Do you have a list, Barney?" I asked.

"No...of course not."

~~~

"This is a scrap book of all the women I've slept with." He set the book in front of us. I got up, walking away.

"I'm not looking at that. Lily saw her, she can look at it." Lily started looking through the pages.

"What do you think, Lil? You recognize her?"

"I don't know, Barney. I only saw her face."  I stepped out onto the balcony, and Barney followed me.

"Are you ok?" He asked.

"Yeah...fine. It's just, weird being your girlfriend and listen to them talk about all of your...conquests."

"Things are different now, Lauren. You know that, right?" I nodded.

"Yeah...of course I do. I just...kind of wonder whether or not I'm one of them."

"You're kidding, right?" he asked. I shrugged. "Lauren, you could never just be another conquest. It's not like that."

"I know. It was stupid."

"You're right, it was." He took my face in his hands. "Lauren, I'm not that guy anymore. And you definetly aren't one of those girls. How could you think that?"

"I don't know, Barney. Maybe it was the fact that some girl thought that I needed to be warned." I regretted my words as soon as I said them. He backed away from me.

"Ok...I get it."

"Barney...I didn't-"

"I know, I did a lot of terrible things. Why did I think that that could just be forgotten."

"That's not what I meant, Barney." I told him.

"Yeah, I get what you meant. Maybe you should just...go home. We'll  let you know when we've found her."

"Barney-"

"Just...go home, Lauren...go home." He walked inside, and I sighed, pushing my hair out of my face.