Life I Left Behind (A Daryl Dixon Story)

Chapter Thirteen

Charlie

18 years old

I made way up the familiar gravel driveway, shivering slightly as a light breeze swept past, rustling the grass softly. Georgia days were unbearably hot, but damn, the night sure did get cold. I heard the loud, raucous laughter of the two men before I saw them. I could tell just by the sound that they had been drinking.

A beaten down looking pickup truck came into view and through the darkness I recognized the two Dixon boys. Or rather men now. Daryl was perched on the end of the open tailgate, legs dangling off the ground. Next to him, leaning lazily against the side of the truck with a beer in hand, was his much more obnoxious and colorful brother Merle. For some reason, Merle had taken a shining to me over the years. However, that still didn’t stop him from being as inappropriate as possible.
“Fancy seein’ you here, sugar tits!” Merle hollered as he caught sight of me.

I rolled my eyes, stopping a few feet from the truck. “Well, Merle, seeing as I’m your neighbor and I live five seconds down the road, is it really that much of a shocker?”

Merle ignored me, taking a long swig from his beer bottle. Both of the men reeked of alcohol. I wrinkled my nose at the stench.

“And what do us humble rednecks owe the pleasure of yer’ company for, princess?” Merle asked, after letting out an extremely loud and rather disgusting belch, which I had pretended I didn’t hear. Daryl had been quiet throughout this entire exchange, but I could feel his eyes on me. I finally turned to look at him.

I let out a sigh. “I came to say goodbye to Daryl, actually, but since you’re lucky enough to be here too, I guess I’ll say it to the both of you.”

Merle opened his mouth, no doubt to make some sort of sexist, unnecessary retort, but was cut off by Daryl. “Where ya’ goin’?” He asked quietly. His eyes met mine and I was reminded again of how nice and blue they were.

I smiled sadly. “I graduated, remember? I’m leaving for school tomorrow. In Atlanta.”
Merle let out a hoot. “Wooo-eeee! Well, look out! Our backwoods little princess is ready to take on the big city!”

I felt a grin tugging at the corners of my lips as I looked back at Merle. He was grinning drunkenly back, although I couldn’t say the same about Daryl. He didn’t look to happy for me. Merle also seemed to sense this.

“Ya’ll gonna have to ‘scuse me. I ain’t about to let you two lovebirds kill this helluva good buzz.” He downed the last of the bottle and tossed it carelessly into the back of the truck before heading towards the dark house. “Have fun in the big city, girly! Dun’ forget ‘bout us small town hicks!” He hollered over his shoulder.

I ignored him, shaking my head. Daryl had hopped down from the tailgate and was pacing in front of me, running a hand through his hair. I could tell he was agitated, though I wasn’t sure why. I reached out and placed a hand on his arm, pulling him to a standstill. “Daryl?”

It was a minute before he said anything. “So that’s it, huh? You just leavin’?” He asked.

My heart wrenched in my chest. “Not forever. I’ll come back for Christmas, and for summer break. This isn’t good-bye forever, Dar. Just for a little while.” His arm muscles felt tense under my grip and I slowly let my hand fall back to my side. He wouldn’t even look at me now. “Say somethin’, Daryl. I thought you’d be happy for me. You know how much I’ve always wanted to go to college.”

Daryl leaned back against the truck. His beer bottle tilted and fell to the pavement. I watched as the last of the dark liquid drained onto the gravel. “Go ahead. Go. We both know you think yer to good for this town anyways.”

“What? Where the hell did that come from? You know damn well I don’t think that.” I shot back at him. I couldn’t hide the surprise that had also welled up in my angry tone. There was only one other time, years ago, that Daryl had talked to me like this. It had been eight years ago when his mama passed away. I remembered like it was yesterday. Daryl had been so angry that he had taken it out on me, and even after that, I was his friend. I had always been his friend. So why this?

“Really, Charlie? Am I that wrong? All this time, I bet you couldn’t wait to git’ outta this dirty, little town and away from yer redneck friend, Daryl. You’ve always been ashamed to by me friend and this just proves it!”

All I felt was utter disbelief and anger as I looked at him. I could tell from the glazed look in his eyes that he was drunk, but that didn’t matter. It shouldn’t have mattered. “You shut your mouth, Daryl. You’re an idiot if you think that. All these years, I’ve been your friend when no one else wanted to be. I stuck by your side through everything. Through your mama dying, to Merle going away, to you droppin’ out of school. Yeah, you know what, my friends hated that I hung around you. They didn’t get it, but I didn’t give a crap! I have always been your friend!” I was yelling by now and I didn’t care. “But now, I don’t know why I even bothered…” I trailed off. I felt my hands curl into tight fists as we glared at each other. “You know, I thought you would be happy for me. Even proud of me. Now I can see that you’re just jealous.” I spat.

Daryl forced a laugh. “You think I’m jealous of you? What, I’m jealous of your pointless little dreams of college, of somethin’ better out there? There ain’t nothin’ out there for you, or me. But go on, just go. Leave me here like I don’t even matter. See if I give a damn.”

Then it clicked and I realized what this was. Daryl was mad because I was leaving. Because in his mind, everyone was always leaving. “Daryl,” I tried one last time, reaching out to grab his hand. He pulled away though and all my gesture did was earn me a glare. “This is how you want to leave things? This is really how you want them to be? You’re drunk.” I said quietly.

He shook his head. “Don’t matter. Everythin’ I said, I meant. You know, I think all this time you were my friend because you felt bad for me. That what it was, wasn’t it?”

And that was it. Suddenly, it felt broken. Only this time, I knew there was no fixing it. “Yes, Daryl. That’s exactly it.” I said quietly. With that, I turned on my heel to leave.

“That’s right, Charlie! Walk away, run as far away from me as you can get. Just like you always wanted!” He yelled after me.

“Go to hell, Dixon!” I hollered over my shoulder. I felt hot tears forming behind my eyes but I refused to cry. I would not cry about this. I kicked angrily at a rock in my path and sent it spiraling into the nearest ditch. The conversation replayed over and over in my mind. It was the last one I would ever have with him. I was done being a part of Daryl Dixon’s life. If he didn’t want me in it, then I was gone. I took a deep, shaky breath as I turned up my driveway. From here on out, I wouldn’t look back