Life I Left Behind (A Daryl Dixon Story)

Chapter Twenty

Charlie

Present Day

It was incredible how different I felt after just one week in my new home. It felt almost like I had a life again. Like the farm was a separate world from the apocalyptic one I had grown to know so well. In a way it was. I could tell the others felt the same way. We felt untouchable here, secluded from the death and decay of reality.

I think teaching Carl helped me the most. It was what my passion had been before the zombie world. I didn’t think I’d ever get the chance to do it again, yet here I was. While it was extremely different than standing in front of a room full of thirty different kids, it still felt good to know this one kid hung on my every word. I think he was just glad his mom wasn’t trying to teach him anymore. Although I chose not to share that with Lori. It seemed being pregnant was enough for her to deal with right now.

I had learned, through listening to the others, about Lori’s fling with Shane. I tried not to judge her, but I just hated Shane so much that it was physically impossible for me to understand what the appeal was there. I had learned a great deal about Sophia as well. Surprisingly, Carol had reached out to me the most, though everyone (mostly) was kind. Carol was so quiet and gentle. She reminded me a lot of my own mother, which was maybe why I found myself wanting to spend so much time with her. I couldn’t imagine losing a child in any situation, but losing one in this world seemed to much worse. Maybe because it felt like it shouldn’t have happened. None of this should have been happening.

The only people who seemed still either extremely offended by my presence in the camp were Andrea and Shane. To be honest, I didn’t care for them either so it didn’t hurt my feelings too much. And I had feeling Andrea would come around sooner or later. She had almost agreed to letting me take over watch one night. Almost. It was better than outright saying hell no. The only real issues being faced were Randall and Daryl. The difference was that Randall was everyone’s problem, and Daryl was my problem. He still refused to make nice with me. He treated me pretty much the same way he treated everyone else, which was what I hated. We had been friends for over half our lives and for some reason, we couldn’t get over ourselves and act like it. Mostly Daryl couldn’t get over himself. Which shouldn’t have surprised me.

The screen door of the farmhouse slammed shut and I jumped a little. I glanced up from the picnic table where Carl and I were practicing cursive writing to see Dale striding towards us, looking angrier than I ever thought it was possible for him to be. “Keep working, little man.” I murmured to Carl. I ruffled his hair a little before standing up and moving to meet Dale as he stormed through the camp.

“What happened? Are you alright?” I asked the older man, whom I had also grown very fond of.
He shook his head, not saying a word. I placed a hand gently on his arm and he slowed to a stop and looked at me. “They’re going to kill him. Murder him.”

I furrowed my eyebrows, confused. Then I realized. “Randall?”

“Yes! He has absolutely no chance. There’s no humanity left in this world.” He sighed, shaking his head. He looked absolutely defeated and I couldn’t blame him.

Although I was definitely not Randall’s biggest fan, I wasn’t too excited about the idea of just killing him. Especially without any sort of trial or act of fairness. But, I supposed this world had a whole different set of rules I would never get used to. “No one else sided with you? Not even Glenn?” I asked.

Dale shook his head. “No…I believe his exact words were ‘he’s not one of us’.”

I was surprised by this. I figured Glenn, of all people, would be on Dale’s side. He had such an open mind, and was usually so kind-hearted. “But I wasn’t one of you either…and you all let me stay.”
“I know, Charlie…but before we knew you were a friend of Daryl’s, they had the same debate going on. About what to do with you.” He admitted, removing his hat from his hand and wringing it in his hands.

I wasn’t shocked at this. In a way, I had already known that my new group hadn’t wanted to accept me at first. Why else would they lock me in a shack and then send someone to drag me back after my escape? Only now I understood. They were scared, like I was, and just trying to do right by the ones they cared about. They wanted to protect each other. Still, I disagreed with an execution. It didn’t seem right. My opinion didn’t really count yet, though. Rick had explained, that while the others seemed to want to trust me, the fact was that this decision needed to be made without me, since it had begun before I joined the group. Plus, there was once a similar meeting held about me. I understood where he was coming from, which was why I agreed to stay outside and occupy Carl while the meeting went on.

“What’s going to happen?” I asked quietly.

Dale shrugged. “I’m not sure. I feel like this group is slowly breaking a part. I don’t know how to make it whole again. I don’t know how I’ll continue to stay here if they kill that boy.”

Before I could say another word, the rest of the group slowly came out of the house. Daryl, Rick, and Shane were in the lead. My eyes immediately went to Daryl, taking in the stern expression on his face, the tense muscles in his arms, and the hard look in his eyes. It was a look I wasn’t used to seeing on him, despite all the other expression I had seen him wear during the years we had been friends. One glance at the other two men and I knew they meant to do it now. They were going to execute Randall.

I felt my stomach tighten into knots at the thought. ‘Could they really do that?’ The thought flickered in my mind. ‘Of course they can’ an answering thought called out. Who was going to stop them? They were doing what they thought needed to be done. I understood that, but still. The idea of what was going to happen made me feel sick to my stomach. I glanced towards Carl who had looked up from his work and was watching the three men striding towards the barn with a curious expression. I was about to step in and distract him once again when Lori appeared at his side, smoothing back his hair.
Before I could stop myself, I was jogging to catch up with Rick, Shane, and Daryl. Shane spotted me approaching first and rolled his eyes.

“What? You gonna try and talk some sense into us? Save the day?” He drawled.

I ignored him and grabbed Daryl’s arm. He seemed surprised at my touch and stopped, looking down at my fingers curled around the sinewy muscles of his arm. He quickly ripped his arm from my grasp though, looking impatient now.

“What, Charlie? What the hell do you want?” He demanded.

“I-“ I began, but stopped, not even sure what I wanted to say or how to say it. “I just…are you really going to kill that boy?”

Daryl’s mouth was set into a grim line as he nodded. “It’s gotta be done. We can’t trust him.”
“But you convinced them to trust me!”

Daryl looked surprised. “Why you defendin’ this jackass? He lied about you and nearly got you killed along with him.”

I shook my head. “I don’t know. I don’t like him. It’s just that…killing him. It doesn’t seem right.”
“It’s not up to you, Charlie. Now git’ away. You don’t need to see this.” With that, he turned on his heel and strode after the other two. They were headed towards the barn.

I didn’t know why, but I followed after him. My head told me to turn around, that I didn’t want to watch someone get killed, but I kept going anyways. When I reached the barn, Rick had already gotten Randall. He was on his knees, whimpering loudly, a sack pulled over his head. Shane stood off to the side, a malicious look in his eyes as he watched Rick raise his gun at the boy’s head.

“Oh god.” The words escaped my lips. My heart hammered in my chest. They were really going to do it.

Daryl whirled around and saw me there. “Charlie, git your ass outta here! I told ya, you don’t need to see this!” He hissed at me.

Before I could even find my voice, another one spoke up, drowning out Randall’s whimpering cried.

“Do it, dad.”

Daryl and I both stared as Carl suddenly appeared in the barn, eyes on Rick.
“Do it.” He said again.

“Carl…” I said quietly, a warning tone in my voice. He shouldn’t be here, seeing this. Hell, Daryl was right. I didn’t need to be here.

Rick looked utterly shocked. He dropped the gun and it clattered to the barn floor. “Take him away.”
“What? Rick-“ Shane protested.

“I said, take him away god damn it!”

Shane gritted his teeth, looking furious. His hand was on his own gun, tucked in its holster, but he left it. Instead, he yanked Randall up by the collar of his shirt and dragged him from the barn. I suddenly felt a firm hand on my wrist and I too was being steered out of the barn and into the night.

“Damn it, Charlie, can’t you listen? Huh? Why the hell would you wanna watch that?” Daryl shouted at me. He let go of my wrist forcefully and I stumbled back a few steps.

“I-I didn’t! I don’t! I don’t know…I just…I don’t know what I was thinking, okay?”

He ran a hand through his hair. “I can’t keep my damn eye on you all the time! Like your Carl, like you’re a fuckin’ child!”

My eyes widened. “What? I’m not asking you to! Jesus, Daryl, really? You’ve barely spoken to me for the past week. You’ve avoided me and now you’re going to stand here and act like I’m a responsibility of yours? No! You can’t have it both ways. You can’t act like my babysitter one day and then the next day act like I don’t exist.”

He didn’t say anything. We locked eyes and exchanged a long, angry glare. God, what had happened to us? We used to be friends. We used to be-

My thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a loud, shrill cry for help. Our argument was left behind as we barreled towards the terrified sound.