Life I Left Behind (A Daryl Dixon Story)

Chapter Forty-Five

Daryl

Thirty Years Old- Months Ago

"This is some sort of fucked up horror movie shit." Merle muttered, slamming the phone back down onto the receiver. "What the hell kinda sickness makes people eat each other's insides?"

"What the hell you mumblin' about over there?" I called from the kitchen table, where I was just finishing up a plate of cold baked beans. I heard Merle's heavy footsteps as he made his way out of the living room and into the kitchen. I glanced up, my fork paused halfway to my mouth as I caught the look in his eyes, his face pale white. "What? Who was on the phone?"

He shook his head, slumping against the wall. "That was Mike, down at the bar. Said he's gettin' the hell outta town. He was takin' out the trash and saw that lil' ole' lady that owns the pharmacy rippin' into some guy in the middle of the street!" He ran a hand over his shaved head. "Guess that shit they were sayin' on the news was true after all. Fuck."

My chair scraped hard against the tiled floor as I abruptly stood up from the table, my mind already moving way ahead of me. I could hear Merle still talking, but had stopped listening as I made my way to the basement where my bedroom was hidden. I took the steps two at a time, landing hard on my feet when I finally reached the cement floor. At some point, I became aware that my heart was pounding something fierce inside my chest. Felt like it would just skyrocket out of me at any second. I ignored it and swept through the room like a tornado, shoving anything that looked even remotely useful into an old tan colored duffel back I used for my camping trips. The last thing I grabbed before heading back up the stairs was my crossbow and a sheath full of new arrows I hadn't even had the chance to break in yet.

Merle was standing at the top of the stairs, looking at me with a bewildered expression. I shoved past him, heading straight for the front door. Suddenly he was blocking my path again, though.

"Now hold up just one god damn minute! What the fuck do you think you're doin'?" He demanded, eyeing the duffel bag grasped tightly in one hand, crossbow in the other. "You think you're gonna go out an' hunt down those things now? Those fuckin' zombies or whatever the hell they are?"

I gripped the bag tighter in my hand, my knuckles turning white. "No, I'm not a god damn idiot!" I spat back at him. My shoulder rammed into him hard as I stalked past him again. "I'm goin' after Charlie!" I called over my shoulder before kicking the front door open and heading out towards my pickup truck that was parked at the top of the driveway.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! You're doin' what now? Charlie?" I heard Merle come outside after me. The disbelief in his voice would have almost been amusing had this been any other time and place. "Jesus fucking Christ, Daryl! I thought you were over that bitch!"

I threw down my stuff at my feet and whirled around to face him. I felt myself seething with a white hot rage I hadn't felt since our daddy had left years earlier. Before I could stop myself, I put my hands on my chest and shoved him as hard as I could. "Don't you fuckin' call her that, Merle! You keep your damn mouth shut about Charlie!" I snarled. He stumbled back a few steps, but when he regained his balance, the fury behind his eyes would have scared any grown man right out of his sneakers.

I curled my hands into tight fists, ready to swing hard the second he got any closer. Merle was too quick, though, and I suddenly felt his hands wrap tightly around the collar of my shirt as he pushed me up against the side of the truck. "You best calm your ass down, boy, before I break both your legs and then you ain't goin' nowhere." He hissed, his eyes almost bulging out of the sockets. I struggled against his grip, trying to rip myself away but he was stronger than I was. "I said calm the fuck down." He said again, his voice shaking and sounding almost as angry as I felt.

He gave me a long, hard stare and I finally went limp in his grasp and he let go of me, giving me one last shove. I chewed on my lower lip, watching as he walked a few feet away and rubbed the back of his neck hard. "I have to go get her, Merle. If those things are here, you can bet your ass they're in Atlanta. I gotta get her out. Whether you come with me or not, that's up to you." I finally said quietly.

I could see him shaking his head. "You're gonna be walkin' into your own funeral. If you don't get trampled by all those sons of bitches tryin' to get out the city, then one of them biters is gonna git' ya'. Think about it, Daryl. Is some…some fuckin' girl you haven't seen in years really worth dyin' like that for? Huh?" He asked, finally turning around to look at me. "Don't risk your god damn neck for somebody that don't even matter anymore."

I suddenly tasted the bitter, iron taste of blood in my mouth and realized I had been chewing my lip so hard, I had broken right through the skin. I wiped it with the back of my hand before flicking my gaze back to Merle. "I'm goin' after her, Merle." I said again slowly. "You ain't gonna stop me." With that, I turned my back on him and heaved my duffel back into the bed of the truck before climbing in the front with my crossbow. I pulled down the sun visor and the keys fell into my lap. When I looked up through the windshield, Merle was just disappearing into the garage. I felt a small part of me deflate and I realized I had been hoping he'd decide to come with me. I knew that the second I pulled out of this driveway, my chances of finding my brother again were pretty much slim to none.

I needed to find Charlie, though.

The thought crept back into my head and I shoved the keys into the ignition and the engine sputtered once before starting right up. I shifted into reverse and peered over my shoulder as I began slowly backing down the driveway. Suddenly, though, there was a loud thump on the hood of the truck. I slammed on the brakes and the truck lurched forward as I spun back around in my seat. Merle was standing at the front of the truck, two huge bags slung over his shoulder. He walked around to the back of the truck and threw the two bags in with a loud thud before pulling open the passenger door and sliding in next to me.

I stared at him, waiting for an explanation, but he kept his eyes trained straight ahead and his mouth fixed into a thin, hard line. I quietly accepted that for, whatever reason, he had decided to come. I eased my foot off the brake and continued backing out of the driveway. It wasn't until we were driving silently along the back country roads for a few minutes that he finally said anything at all.

"You're god damn lucky I liked that girl." He muttered under his breath. "If she gets us killed, though, it'll be your god damn fault."

I shot him a look before looking back out the windshield. "Ain't nobody gettin' killed."

"Just shut up and drive." He growled.

I pressed my foot down on the pedal a little harder, a smile just barely ghosting across my lips.