Lost Souls ~ Phan

Chapter Eighteen

A/N *Announcer's voice* "Previously on this fanfic..."

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"Lester's parents and brother have not given any more information since the accident but folks are saying it was most likely attempted suicide. He is currently being held in the ICU in St. Thomas Hospital and guards are not letting anyone in on account of the families privacy. Updates later. On to sports with Sam."

Dan stared emotionless at the screen.

"Daddy, what did she mean?" Max tugged at Dan's arm.

Dan felt tears well in his eyes again and he snatched the tv remote from Max and turned it off. He got up and closed his laptop, trying hard to steady his breathing as he picked up Max and Lion and started for the door.

"Daddy, what's going on?!" Max asked loudly as Dan tied his shoes. Dan sniffled back tears. Phil had been in the hospital in critical condition for 24 hours and no one called him. "What was she talking about Daddy?" Max tugged at Dan's hoodie as he was carried outside. Dan ran down the stairs for the subway and swiped his Oyster card before jumping on the train.

"What's wrong with Daddy?" Max asked again. Dan looked over at the boy who stared back at him with fear filled eyes.

"Daddy wanted to go meet God." Dan whispered. Max blinked.

"He wanted to go to heaven?" Max clarified. Dan bit his lip to hold back tears and nodded, his other hand gripping onto the metal bar of the train. Max was tucked in his favourite blue blanket in Dan's arms with Lion tight in his small hands. "Does he not want to be with us anymore?" Max's bottom lip was trembling.

"I don't know, buddy." Dan breathed and pressed a lingering kiss to Max's messy hair.

"God told him no for now, right? Daddy isn't with Him yet?" Max asked quietly.

"I think so. God knows we're not done with Daddy yet." Dan's voice was shaking and he took his hand from the metal bar to rest Max's head against his shoulder. Max put his thumb in his mouth again and closed his eyes. Dan held onto Max, gently rubbing his back to comfort him. It was approaching five in the evening as the train arrived at their required underground station. Being February, the sun was almost set below the horizon and it cast yellow and orange beams across the London streets. People were either making their way home or to nightclubs with their friends for a money-wasting Monday night but Dan was going to the hospital. The city air was cold and Dan was shivering in only his sweater but he did his best to keep Max warm.

When they got to the hospital grounds, the press and some fans were surrounding the side doors. Three security men and a few police officers lined the stairs.

"Excuse me." Dan mumbled and pushed through the crowd. Once he was recognized, he was bombarded with flashing lights and questions, microphones and notepads being thrust at him. Max whimpered and clung onto him.

"We can't let anyone pass. If you are a guest please go around to the front doors." one of the guards ordered.

"Phil Lester is my husband." Dan said.

"ID please."

"I can't believe I need fucking ID to get into a hospital." Dan grumbled and pulled out his wallet. One look at the card and he was gestured inside. Max stared wide eyed at the crowd until the doors closed behind them. Dan set Max on his feet. "You're okay?" he asked. Max nodded. Dan draped the blanket over his arm and took Max's small hand in his. Max had his other thumb in his mouth and Lion held between his chest and his bent arm. Dan walked right over to Phil's parents. His mother stood up first.

"Daniel." she sighed, regretfully.

"Care to tell me what I did to not be notified when my husband jumps off a building?" Dan said harshly.

"We're sorry. We weren't going to tell you until he was better."

Dan pulled Max in front of him and covered his ears.

"And if he died?" Dan asked Phil's mother.

"Don't think like that." she frowned.

"I'm thinking in reality." Dan said harshly. "Just tell me all you know. Please."

"Fine. Phil came home on Friday after Max's concert and he looked really shaken up and he didn't say a word to us and went right to his room. Then before we knew it we saw him-him fall right past the kitchen window." she pressed her hand to her mouth and let out a shaking sob. Her husband put a comforting arm around her. Dan took his hands from Max's ears.

"Can we see him?" Dan asked dryly.

"Right over there." the father pointed to a room that had a glass wall separating it from the ICU wing. Dan carried Max over and stepped in the hospital room.

Phil was laying motionless {in white hA...sorry} under the thin white hospital sheets. One arm was in a cast and the other was littered with bruises and cuts, the once perfectly creamy skin now stained in purple. Phil had a tube down his nose and it looked quite unpleasant. His hair was pushed back off of his face, showing a stitched up cut across the side of his forehead. He had a busted lip and some blood still was left on his chin and part of the top of the light blue hospital gown.

"Is that him?" Max whispered.

"It's him." Dan nodded with a sigh.

"He looks dead." Max pouted.

"He's not dead."

"How do you know?"

"See this box?" Dan pointed to the heart monitor. "That's the thing making those beeps. Those beeps and these up and down lines show his heart beating. If this line is flat and there's only one beep that goes for a long time then the doctors need to come in and try to make his heart work again."

Max reached over and gently patted the box.

"Thank you, box." he whispered. Dan smiled and kissed the boy's cheek. "Why does he have a worm in his nose?" Max frowned.

"I'm not sure. I know it's helping him. I think it might be giving him food." Dan shrugged.

"What kind of food?"

"Special liquid food."

"Yucky."

"Yeah." Dan sighed, not taking his eyes of Phil.

"Daddy, I'm hungry." Max whispered after a moment.

"Okay. We'll find you some food." Dan said. "Say bye to dad."

"Bye-bye, Daddy." Max waved weakly at Phil's unconscious body. Dan carried him out of the room and closed the door behind them.

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A/N Surprisingly I got a lot written yesterday but I'm updating slowly as to not overwhelm you lol. Hope this chapter was okay...more later of course. (Look forward to a flashback ;) )