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this chapter will contain smut so please don't continue reading this if you're uncomfortable.

It was hard. It was hard having thoughts fill my head about the possibility of jungkook betraying me like that. After all he said to me yesterday? Was he faking it?

No. Jungkook wasn't like that, for all I know I could be making misjudgments, so no matter how clear the evidence could be, I wasn't going to judge him just like he didn't judge me. Seriously yura, get your shit together, Jungkook's your bestfriend.

I sighed because of how frustrated this made meーI just need to stop overthinking the situation that's all. I'm just going to push the thoughts about jungkooks still to be proved betrayal to the back of my mind.

I headed back to my grandmas house after the long walk from the building I was at. When I got in the house I honestly didn't expect to be greeted by my grandma or anything like that. I knew that all I was going to be met with was complete and utter emptiness since my grandmother always falls asleep early these days, 'on accident' of course, she's just so tired.

I tried to shake the negativity off as I went upstairsーI think I promised taehyung that I would upload my kik display picture today. How could I forget that?

I walked towards the mirror hung on my door so I could look at my appearance before taking a picture since all the ones I have on my phone are horrible, and as usual I look ugly.

I was tired but I honestly didn't want to take a picture looking like this, so I did what I had to do. I got my straightener and my make up bag out.

I wouldn't exactly say that I 'overdid' it with the make up, I mean I may have accidentally highlighted a little bit too much and I may have winged my eyeliner a little bit too good. But can you blame me though? I looked like a child without make up.

I tried to look up nice hair dos and ways to curl my hair using a straightener. Of course I failed because how the fuck was a normal person supposed to do that? So, I just ended up straightening my bangs and tying up the rest of my hair into a ponytail since it just looked ugly when I let it down.

I wasn't going to take the picture with my school uniform of course because one it wasn't safe and two the uniform is extremely ugly. So, I just picked out a simple top and I may have worn a push-up bra underneath. Just to add that 'effect' you know.

I got my phone out to take a selfie but I honestly didn't know what to do with my faceーat times like this I really wanted to have a girl as my friend. It would be nice to be able to talk to someone about make up and stuff.

I tried to pucker my lips a little but it just made me laugh, I looked like an actual idiot. Maybe if I made it a little more subtle it would look nicer? 

I snapped the picture and I have to admit that I almost looked decent from the angle I shot the selca in. I didn't really look like me though, my boobs weren't that big and my face wasn't that sharp in real life but he wanted a kik display picture so what was I supposed to do?

I went to the settings and clicked upload display picture and I was really starting to hesitate but it must be shitty to pour out your heart to someone you don't even know physicallyーso, I just did it. I uploaded the picture.

I sat in the most nerve wracking 15 minutes of my life after uploading that picture, all I wanted in these few minutes was to feel that buzz in my pockets.

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