I flicked through the pages right to the beginning of the book, I read all his little comments and smiled for the first time in days. He had written all about our first date, all our days out together, when I asked him to be my boyfriend and our first kiss.
April 16th
Saw her today, went as well as I had expected. She was having another one of her crazy days, I hadn't seen her that angry since I told her I was gay. She was yelling at the dining room chair, "its your fault hes gay Harrison. You and your crooked genes" she had yelled. Funny thing was my dad Harrison hasn't been in our life since I was 14, I watched as she saw a red car and hid under the table. I blinked at her as she eyed me suspiciously, I went to give her a glass of water and she knocked it from my hands saying I was trying to poison her. I tried to calm her down but she went nuts, pretty much pounced on me.
"Hurt him yes" she replied talking to herself as I pushed her off me, she rolled on the floor as I stood and went to leave. She ran into me knocking me forwards hitting my mouth on the corner of the table. Blood poured from my mouth as Felix grabbed her round her waist. "Go quickly while ive got hold of her" he had told me. I went into the bathroom and washed the blood from my mouth as I got the hell out of there. Adam freaked out when he saw all the blood from my gums and the split in my lip.
He asked who did it, I couldn't tell him my own mother did it. I told him I walked into a lamppost, too busy on my twitter feed. I don't think he believed me but he didn't ask again. I felt bad lying to him but it had to be done. He doesn't need to know my moms psycho.
I stared at the page, taking in everything I had just read. His own mom did that to him? I remember it, he came home and went straight into the bathroom. I went to find him and saw all the blood splattering into the sink, he showed me the cut in his mouth and where his teeth had been knocked the blood coming from the gums underneath. He couldn't eat properly for like a week, he always had toothache. I wondered what was wrong with his mother, and why he didn't speak to his family hardly.
I wondered why he hadn't told me he had been to see his mother, what was he protecting me from? I had more questions than answers, I should probably give this to the police but I kind of don't want to. It was all I had, the last chance to be in his head. I placed it under my pillow as my phone trilled, "hello?" I said. "Adam honey is your mom, we heard about tommy. We are on our way down to you now we'll be there in an hour" she told me.
"You don't have to its fine" I said as she cut me off "we're coming. Anyway honey we have to go the light is green" she replied putting the phone down. I dropped it onto my bed and sighed, great my parents are coming down. The apartment is a mess, im a mess, takeout boxes and bottles strewn on the floor. I dragged myself from the bed as I kicked one of the bottles and cursed, I made my way downstairs and found some bin bags.
I collected up all the rubbish and bottles and clothes. I didnt have the strength to move tommys things just yet so I tidied them instead. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and groaned, I dumped the bag outside and went up to shower and shave. Once I was done I pulled on some clean clothes, my jeans, white top and oversized cardigan as I dragged a comb through my dark hair. I still looked like shit with dark circles under my eyes but I couldn't be bothered with putting makeup on to cover them like I usually do.
The doorbell rang as I made my way downstairs, I opened it as my mother flung her arms round me. "Oh adam honey im so sorry how are you doing? I only just got your message weve been away" she explained dragging me into the front room and pulling me onto the sofa. "Im fantastic" I replied sarcastically as my dad walked in, "did the police really keep you there for 2 days? I oughtta have words" he replied, "it doesn't matter dad" I answered. "You've lost weight, and those dark circles" my mother mused, "I haven't been all that hungry funnily enough. And that's what happens when you get no sleep" I retorted.
"Darling why don't you go and make us all a coffee" she told my dad who nodded and left the room. She turned to face me as I sighed knowing she was going to get all mumsy with me. "So adam, how are you really? Its just me and you now, no sarcasm just the truth" she instructed her blue eyes meeting mine. "Truthfully not that great, its hard. I just miss him so much, everything just keeps going round and round in my head. Everything reminds me of him, but I cant bring myself to pack his things away. I feel like my heart has just been ripped out, I don't see the point in carrying on if hes not here. He was everything to me mom, everything and more I loved him. I still do" I explained looking down at my hands.
