Its been a week since the whole felix incident, today is tommys funeral. "Adam hurry up we need to leave soon" Ashleys voice said from the other side of the door. I had in fact been ready for over an hour, at least physically anyway. I was sitting at the dresser just staring at my reflection, the picture of tommy at the side. I wasn't ready to say goodbye to him, I wasn't ready for him to be gone it would make it too real. Ashley was growing more impatient, she didn't like be late for things. I stood and opened the door, "are you ready?" she asked.
"As i'll ever be" I answered shrugging on my suit jacket. She was wearing a black lace dress with a red waist belt. Her black heels and a suit jacket, her hair tied into an updo. She walked over straightening my black tie as I buttoned the jacket, "lets go" she told me as we left and started the short drive to the church. I watched as everything sped by, all those people walking hand in hand with partners and children running around.
I realised I couldn't have that now, tommy was the guy I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. We planned our whole lives, not that couldn't happen and the cops are nowhere close to finding out who did it. We pulled up outside the church as I looked at all the people gathered in the churchyard, I swallowed. We climbed out of the car "Well here we are shall we head in" Ashley said looking over to me."I need a minute" I said, Id come to recognise when I was about to have a panic attack I knew I needed a couple of minutes to control it and to try and stop it escalating.
"Better?" she asked after a few minutes, I nodded "lets go" she said holding out her hand. I took it as we made our way into the churchyard, my parents were here. So was tommys mother, and a tall dark haired man was with her, I figured this was tommys real dad. Tommys mother walked over to me embracing me as I returned it and pulled away, "Harrison Ratliff" the guy said holding out his hand. "Adam" I replied shaking it, something about him weirded me out. He seemed totally indifferent to the fact his son was dead.
I met tommys sister and his other family members, my mom and dad walked over to me. "How are you honey?" my mom asked. "Im ok" I answered, "it will be over soon. Whos the dark haired guy with tommys mother" my dad questioned. "His real dad, don't know why hes here though. Him and tommy haven't spoken in years" I answered. "Death does funny things to people adam" my mom said. "Ok everyone its time to go in" the vicar said addressing everyone, I watched as everyone filtered in the funeral car pulled up.
Ashley placed her hand on my shoulder as I placed mine on top, "its really happening isn't it" I said. "Yes adam it is. Come on we need to go in" she told me. We went inside and sat down as music started playing, everyone stood as he was carried past. I swallowed as Ashley squeezed my hand gently, the service started as his mom went up in front of the crowd. By the time she finished everyone was crying, my gaze fell to Harrison who was sitting there just staring. He wasn't upset it was like he didn't care, "an now tommys partner adam" the vicar said I breathed out as I stood and made my way down the front.
"Tommy was a son, a brother, best friend and lover. I remember when I first met you, how Ashley shoved me into you. You smiled, you had a beautiful smile. I remember our first kiss like it was just yesterday, those brown eyes that I loved and kissing you under the stars. We had our fair share of arguments and incidents but we were always strong enough to get over them not loosing the love we felt for each other. I didnt tell you enough how much you meant to me, how much I loved you. Truth is you were the best thing that ever happened to me, I felt like the luciest guy in the world when you agreed to be my boyfriend. I wondered how I had meet my true love, my soulmate and my best friend all rolled into one" I said.
I looked at the flowers on the coffin, "We planned our life together, children, marriage and growing old together. You didn't know that I already had the ring, you didnt know I was going to ask you to be my husband on your birthday. I thought we would have forever. But fate had other plans for us, forever was less than I thought it would be. But you'll always be mine, and i'll miss you everyday. You were my new dream" I finished my voice cracking.
I left the front and sat back down silent tears running down my face, Ashley held my hand as he went through the curtain. They shut as a small sob escaped my lips, everyone around us filtered out as I stayed where I was staring at the curtain. It was all over he was really gone, I sank to the bench as I sobbed into my hands. "Adam?" A voice said as tommys mom sat next to me, "you know he will always be with you" she said as I nodded wiping my face with my hand as I tried to stem the tears running down my face.
"I cant believe hes actually gone it doesn't feel real" I whispered, "I know. I feel exactly the same but we have all those memories of him. He will always be with you, in here" she said placing her hand on my chest. "Your right" I told her, she gave me a small smile "Most of the time I am. Time will heal the pain adam, it was too late for us to save him. At least hes not hurting anymore" she replied. I nodded "we should probably go to the wake everyone will be wondering where we are" she said wiping her face as she stood. She looped her arm through mine as we left the church and went to join everyone else.
