Carnophobia || Natepat fanfiction

Carnophobia || Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Fifteen
-Pathetic monster-

He brushed the sweat from his forehead, drying his eyes from the tears that had been falling nonstop for the past ten minutes. Nate was slouched against a tree luckily he got out of Kayla's house with only a cut across his forehead from the drunken female who in defence and fear threw one of her vodka bottles.

Matt's words echoed through his brain, why had he been so stupid he should have expected this but he thought Morgan his younger sister did everything he asked, it hurt. The ebony knew he was a monster, he was suppose to eat meat the meat of humans, he would never fit in anywhere.

The 'cannibal' constantly felt like he was drowning like he couldn't breath, when he could it was shaky and rough.

Useless
Unwanted
Monster

He couldn't even control his thoughts everything was falling apart, the ebony tried to tell himself he was over reacting but was he really? He had finally made friends only to have his family come in the way of that.

Another tears escaped Nate's eyes then another until it came down in an uncontrollable tidal wave, he hugged himself for warmth against the wind brushing through the leaves of the tree.

His body felt numb, his breaths felt slow difficult to control and sometimes were missed, he didn't really feel alive. He'd finally had a normal life only to have it snatched selfishly away, he wanted revenge only he couldn't, it was impossible. It didn't matter everyone thought he was a monster and he was.

❝Pathetic is not? I can't handle the truth that I knew all along,❞ a shaky forced laugh escaped his chapped lips.

Stephanie, Jason, Shannon, Mark, Jack, Kayla, Matt
He meant nothing to them now all he was, was some evil flesh eating monster planning on betraying them. It was what they believed to be the truth. Nate physically shivered at his thoughts.

He was alone but that wasn't unusual, that normal he'd grown up being alone always the child his family wanted to forget about, they didn't want to acknowledge his existence as if blanking him and shunning him would make him leave their lives, their world. Morgan had been the one that made him feel alive, the family member that made him feel wanted and she'd now betrayed him.

Depression wasn't something Nate understood nor was it something he wished to understand, he wanted help and his 'friends' had been the help he'd needed if only for a day or so but the truth about his life had ruined it all.

Come to terms with the truth
Nathan Sharp you can change
You don't have to be worthless
Join us
You'll truly feel alive

The sound of glass smashing echoed through the quiet hill area as Nate's phone hut the tree, he puffed his breathing still shaky.

❝I don't want to become a real monster.❞

Does it matter
The ones you thought were your friends want you dead
You could give them their wish
Or join us

Blood dripped from his fists as he dug his nails deep into his skin flinching slightly at the pain.

The voices in his mind were hissing at him and taunting him, Nate truly was terrified the idea of death petrified him.

He spoke shaking as he the words passed, ❝Everyone wants me dead but I want to live even if just to remember what happened over the past few days. I want to live in my memories without you!❞

Matt, Nate wanted to live in the memory of him and the blond theorist kissing, he wanted to go back to when they first met, he wanted to turn back time to the good old days when his mother didn't care that he was different when she sung him to sleep and hugged him close when he cried.

He looked at his smashed phone uncurling his fists and lightly running a finger down the broken glass accidentally cutting through the skin, Nate didn't even react to the stinging pain of the glass instead he watched the blood that peeked out the cut, he swallowed heavily keeping his eyes glued on the tiny spot of blood.

❝Now this is genocide
The monster inside
The voices in your head,❞ Nate sung softly to himself trying to distract himself from his heart which was hurting.

Random strikes of pain struck him like a lightening bolt, his eyes still on the blood he tried to focus on the world which to him seemed black and white, like all the colour he'd perviously seen had been sucked away and the world had been repainted in the dullest shades, everything was easier to see. Why he was viewed as a monster became clearer to him.

Embrace it Nathan I know you want to
Make the Sharp family proud

The ebony tried to shut the voices up desperately afraid if he listened to them he may become as bad as his mother and father.

The world may have become clearer and more understandable but Nate didn't want to embrace his family's way, he didn't want to embrace the monster he knew he was.

The monster that was inside of him, the monster that had once made him afraid to open his mouth.

He was easy to read, easy to predict only his family had always tried to avoid reading the son they despised, they wanted him to act like they did to become the Sharp apprentice.

A lump raised in his throat as all the thoughts filled his brain forcing him to comprehend things he'd never been considered before, the other pain the one he tried to hide.

Nate traced the cut on his forehead and laughed, this was all his fault, being up on the hill alone with his thoughts helped him understand who he was and why he was born the way he was and it wasn't the help the cannibals change their ways as he'd believed before as cliche as it was. He'd been living in a story before, a story he wanted to be the author of but his own life had never been his to control and he now came to terms with that as he laughed a laugh that copied his mother's, a demonic sound. He stopped and pushed himself into the tree behind him.

❝I don't want to be a monster,❞ he cried out to anyone willing to help but nobody came, he was completely alone.

Just allow your true thoughts to take over
Nathan Sharp you can get your revenges on the friends who hurt you

Matthew Patrick hurt you, why don't you make him face the same fate as his parents.

❝No! Why would I do that! He's my friend the one who came to me...❞

He's the reason everyone hates you
Accept your fate
Your true life style

Tears fell down his cheeks at a rapid speed.

❝you're wrong,❞ he mumbled weakly.

You're pathetic

❝So am I soon to be the monster that I despise?❞

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Pretty bad and was very late I'm so sorry, stuff has been going on but I should be able to update like before thank you for waiting
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