Another request from my tumblr! spn-imagines-to-feel
**TRIGGER WARNING: mentions of self-harm. Do not read if sensitive to that topic!**
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You sniffled, wiping your eyes with the palms of your hands and stretching your legs out in front of you, feeling the cold porcelain of the bathtub against the bottoms of your bare feet.
You're sure you must've scared Cas, with the way you just suddenly yelled at him, storming out of the library and hiding yourself away in one of the bathrooms. Its only a matter of time until he finds you, and you just couldn't take it anymore.
You needed to.
It gleamed in the palm of your hand, silver flashing with the reflection of the fluorescent light. It felt cold between your forefinger and thumb, but you enjoyed the feeling of It slicing your skin, the crimson life staining your scarred skin. You sighed, watching the crimson streak down your arm, dripping off the tip of your finger and landing on the white porcelain of the tub, a perfect red circle.
A tear slid of your cheek, landing on your arm.
"[Y/N]!" You heard Cas' voice. "[Y/N]? Where are you? What is wrong?"
You hurriedly pressed a hand towel to your wounded arm, standing up.
The door was pushed open, and Cas found himself staring into your red rimmed eyes, his eyes trailing down the tear tracks on your face and eventually landing on your arms, noticing your shaking hand holding the towel to your shaking forearm. "What happened? Are you hurt?" Cas demanded stepping forward, hands moving out to cup your arm, to heal it.
"No!" You exclaimed, backing up, nearly tripping over the rim of the tub. Cas caught you by the elbow you of the arm holding the towel, jerking it off your other arm.
His eyes widened as he saw the scars, the still bleeding cuts.
"[Y/N]...please tell me...tell me you didn't do this to yourself," he breathed, gently running his finger along the side of your arm, healing it, looking back up at your face as he heard you whimper.
"How long have you been hiding this from me?" He asked, picking up another towel, wetting it with warm water from the faucet and cleaning your arm.
"Since you've known me," you whispered, voice cracking.
"Oh, [Y/N]," he sighed, pulling you to him, wrapping his arms tightly around you, pressing your face into the crook of his neck, letting you cry.
"I can't do this," you cried. "I can't do this anymore!"
"Can't do what?"
"Everything," you whimpered. "Everything is so hard, Cas. It's—it's all too much."
He gently shushed you, pressing a kiss to the side of your head. "We can get through this together, okay? You can talk to me, [Y/N]. I'm not here to judge you, or hurt you. I'm here to love you, and help you.
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A/N:
And to anyone out there struggling with self-harm, I just want you to know that there's always help, and people who love you and want to help you. You're all beautiful and amazing. Stay strong.
