Broken #Wattys2016

Survivor

Survivor.

The words filled the room, all eyes on me, but I didn't hear them, didn't register them.

I nodded politely and smiled my signature smile.

"Jade.. Do you understand what I'm telling you?"

I nodded again and was confused when my body started to numb.

I watched in silence as the doctor droned on and on, thank God my mother was in the room, cause to this day, I don't remember a word that was spoken to me.

"Jade, go to the front desk, make a booking for surgery, it needs to happen as soon as humanly possible."

I politely nodded again and walked over to the desk.

I watched as my mum grabbed my boyfriend and dragged him outside to fill him in.

The look in both of their eyes.. I was confused.

I got in the car and my boyfriend grabbed my hand tighter than usual, he didn't let go the entire drive home.

I sat on my mums bed and watched as she cried on the phone to my aunt.

I didn't move. I was emotionless. I was numb.

Then my mum called my big brother and put the phone on speaker..

"What? What are you saying? Jade.. She.. No. She's so healthy though.." He mumbled.

"She'll pull through this, she always does. She's a fighter, everyone knows that." My mum sniffed.

Tears fell out of my eyes and I choked on a sob. I was confused. Why was I crying? Why was everyone hugging me? Why was everyone so glum?

I looked at mum and asked her what was going on.

She took my hand and explained everything to me all over again.

It took four times before I actually clicked.

I walked out the room and looked at my boyfriend, who had his head in his hands.

"I.. I have cancer." I said blankly.

He held me as I cried. He tried so hard to stay strong for me, but I could hear the tears in his voice, could feel him tremble while he embraced me.

My brother called me four days later.

"Mum spoke to me the other day.. I need you to tell me again."

I explained the best I could and he took a deep breath. "Hey, I love you. You're tough, always have been, if anyone can do this, it's you.. I love you."

Now.. My brother is not the kind of guy who tells people he loves them, he doesn't get emotional, ever. He is the guy to joke and laugh. So hearing that.. It made me believe.

The day of the surgery I was terrified, but the nurses were so nice.

I remember walking into the operating room and laying on the table, ten or so nurses around me, hooking me up to machines, talking to me, rubbing my arm in reassurance.

I remember feeling tired, then it all went black.

I hardly remember waking up, the next few days were a blur.

I went back to my doctor a few months later and he told me I was healing well, and the cancer was gone for now.

But it can come back at anytime.

I need to be closely monitored for the rest of my life.

I could of died, but I didn't.

I survived cancer.

Not a lot of people can say that.

It may come back, but I say; Bring it on. You won't break me.

Nothing can break me.

I'm strong.

I survived.

I can do anything.

For anyone battling cancer, I hope my experience gives you some strength.

For anyone who won the battle, feel proud, you should. We did it. We survived.

For all the lost souls, you will forever be remembered as soldiers, you fought bravely.

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Thank you for reading.

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- Jade xx