3TS: The Chances of Starting Again

Loneliness at Lunchtime

When your alone, you don't feel hungry anymore.

For some reason, Arlene couldn't go to school today. And I can't help but think of that day when I had first eaten lunch with Trent.

The moment I grabbed my lunch, I couldn't help it. Stepping outside, I peered up at the stands.

My heart stopped, and I gulped. He was there. In the exact same spot.

Alone.

I watched him intently as he looked into the distance. His gaze eventually drifted to me, and I looked away, but in those few seconds, he didn't call to me. He didn't gesture again for me to sit by him.

And this time, I would have to eat alone. My heart felt heavy with every step I took. My mind drifted to doubt. Maybe I shouldn't have corrected my past. Maybe it was okay if Juan fell. His arm could have healed.

But my friendship with Trent would never come together like it had before. I gazed at Trent in the stands. His elbows were on his knees, staring in the distance. He was thinking of something. I knew that. And I knew that in about ten seconds, he was going to look at his watch and hurry to his piano lesson.

I walked to the corner of the next building ahead, paused, and looked back. Trent abruptly stood and started to pack his stuff, eyeing his watch to see he was almost late.

Oh journal, I wish I didn't know the future.

My gaze drifted to my food in hand, and I sighed. My food didn't seem appetizing anymore. I moved down the hall.

Knowing the future can be cool. But knowing it can also hurt.

Really hurt.