Her frozen heart (REWRITING)

chapter 15 - a last letter

Dear Edward Anthony Masen Cullen,

I have known that this would happen for a very long time.
You couldn't have prevented it, it was the way I wanted to go.
I've had a very long time in rethinking how I wanted to go, I chose today.

I didn't want to leave you. I would never want to leave you.

I have tried to force myself to say I love you back and it only felt right today.
I have waited what seems like an awful long time to have you.
I never wanted to hurt you.
But I couldn't help it.

If I had it my way we would have our forever.
Being with you made me feel like I was flying.
Edward, you don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world,
but you do have some say in who hurts you...

I like my choices so I hope you'll like yours.

I wish we could have been together forever.

I don't know what it feels like to die
But I certainly hope it's like dreaming.
My last thoughts will be of our forever.
And even though it's only fantasy it won't be any less real to me.
I love you Edward.
And I always will.
But you deserve happiness.
So be with somebody else,
As long as they make you happy.
I will be waiting for you wherever it is we go when we die.
Because Edward,
You may think you don't have a soul.
But I know you do.
I was the luckiest woman in the world to have had experienced being with you, loving you
And I will always love you.
Just be happy,
Bella xxx
_

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Edwards Pov:

Bella's dead.
I don't want to live without her.
She told me to be happy but I'm only happy with her...
Her funeral is today.
At our house.
I've written her eulogy.
The funeral is where our wedding was set up.

She only had me and my family.
Hers died a long time ago.
Bella had nobody.

Emmett, Jasper, Carlisle and I are carrying Bella's casket.

The funeral goes by quickly and before long we are all sharing our stories of the chocolate eyed girl I had come to love.
But then finally it's my eulogy.

"My name is Edward and Bella Marie Swan was the great star-crossed love of my life. Ours was an epic love story, and I won't be able to get more than a sentence into it without disappearing into despair. Bella knew and Bella knows. So I will not tell you our love story, because- like all real love stories- it will die with us, as it should. "I croak.

I'd hoped that she'd be eulogizing me, because there's no one I'd rather have..." I started crying more like sobbing with no tears.
I took a few breaths and went back to the page.

"I can't talk about our love story, so I will talk about math. I am not a mathematician, but I know this: There are infinite numbers between 0 and 1. There's .1 and .12 and .112 and an infinite collection of others. Of course, there is a bigger infinite set of numbers between 0 and 2, or between 0 and a million...
Some infinities are bigger than other infinities.
There are days, many of them, when I resent the size of my unbounded set.I want more numbers than I'm likely to get, and God, I want more for Bella than she got.
But, Bella, my love,I cannot tell you how thankful I am for our little infinity. I wouldn't trade it for the world. You gave me a forever within the numbered days, and I'm grateful.
You would have made the most beautiful bride..."

With that Bella is buried.
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Don't get angry.
It's just a cliff HANGER!
This is NOT the end.
Update soon...
-alwaystwilight xxx
Eulogy kind of belongs to tfios with some tweaks xx