Old Friends

20- Reunited

Weeks turned into months, which turned into a year. I was getting more and more worried that Sam would never come back.

"Dean, he's been gone for a year. You weren't even gone that long. Why hasn't Cas done anything yet?" I asked.

"I don't know. Let me ask him." He got down on his knees and prayed to Cas. Cas showed up quickly. "Hey, how's it going with getting Sam back?"

"Not good. Someone had to have marked him somehow so that he can't be found. Any other information you can provide would be advantageous." Cas stated.

"All we know is that he was stabbed and killed by lucifer." Dean stated. "He wanted Caitlin to be his vessel and when she said no, he stabbed Sam and took him to hell."

"Let me check one more place. There's a section of hell reserved for the ones lucifer really wants to mess with." Cas stated before disappearing.

"I guess I should have been clearer the first time."

"It's ok. I just hope Cas finds him." I told Dean. Days passed and still no Sam. I was getting worried and more and more upset. Suddenly, there was a knock on my door at 3 am. Thinking it was Dean, I opened it.  It was Sam.

"It's me, baby." He softly spoke. I gave him a cautious look. "Go ahead and test me." I grabbed the silver knife from his bedside table and checked. I splashed him with the holy water from a flask and had him touch some iron. He was clean. I wrapped him in a hug which he graciously accepted. I cried onto him and he gently stroked my hair. He rubbed my back as it moved spastically with my sobs. "Shh. Shh. I'm right here. Where's Dean?"

"He's in his room. It's 3am. We both went to bed a while ago." I commented.

"He's not in there. I just checked." He replied. I called Dean and he answered.

"Hello?"

"Dean, Sam's ok. He's here at the bunker. You can come back." I told him frantically.

"Ok. I was just out for a drive since I couldn't sleep. Relax. I'm on my way." He said, but I suspected more.

"He's on his way." I told Sam. "I really missed you, Sammy. I never say it enough, I love you."

"I love you too, baby. Let's go wait for Dean." I nodded. We went and sat at a table in the library. In the light I was able to see all the damage that had been done to Sam. His face had healed cuts and some small open ones as well. He had bruising all over and looked pretty damaged. The thing that struck me the most was how he seemed so broken emotionally. He was trying to hide it and he was able to in the dark in our room but I saw past his disguise. Dean showed up a bit later and once he came down the stairs, they shared a bro hug. A couple tears fell from Dean's eyes but he wiped them away. "I know I just got back and you two have a zillion questions but I need sleep and so do you."

"That's fine. We can talk tomorrow." Dean stated. I nodded in agreement to Dean's response and we all parted ways. I climbed in bed with Sam but was scared to say anything because I thought I was dreaming.

"You ok?" He asked.

"Not really. I don't want this to be a dream. I missed you and this is all my fault." I explained.

"It's not your fault. I'm glad you said no to him. And this isn't a dream. I'm really back." He consoled. I nodded and we laid there for a few moments.

"Sam, before we go to sleep, can I tell you what I feel I need to? I don't care if it's not true, I need to tell you."

"Of course, baby."

"I'm sorry. It was a stupid decision and you were tortured in hell because of me. I'm sorry you couldn't hear me say I love you before you died. I'm sorry I didn't go with Dean to bury you. I'm sorry I put the burden of me being upset on Dean instead of being strong like you. I'm sorry we didn't get married before this. I'm sorry for anything I ever said that hurt you. I'm just sorry for everything, Sammy. I'm sorry I'm the reason you were tortured for a year." I cried out. He pulled me close and held me tight.

"Caitlin, I'm not upset at all. It wasn't a stupid choice. It was the right choice. I actually did hear you say you loved me. I was on the edge of death but I did hear you. Don't you dare act like being upset is a bad thing. I knew you would be, and if anything, that shows you care. It's ok we hadn't gotten married yet. We will though. We'll do it as soon as possible if you want. You don't need to apologize so much. I love you. Just because I was gone doesn't mean that I stopped loving you. Why didn't you go with Dean to bury me? I'm not mad, just curious."

"I couldn't handle it. You were so broken and destroyed and bloody. I couldn't take it. I didn't want to see you like that."

"I understand." Sam consoled.

"Every day or almost every day for a large majority of the time you were gone, I visited your grave though. I can't tell you how much I cried this year." I told him.

"I appreciate that. Just know it's ok now. I'm back and I'm not going anywhere. I love you, baby."

"I love you too, Sam. Goodnight."

"Goodnight." We shared a kiss then went to sleep and it felt good to be in his arms again.