Old Friends

27- Unexpected News

I laid there for a few hours just going over everything in my head. Sam was right. I may have felt different but I realized it was a good kind of different. I was different because I didn't have to hide anything anymore. I didn't have to lie every day and I didn't have to pretend to be someone I wasn't anymore. With that realization came the recognition of how I made them feel. The look on Dean's face had been one of pity and concern while Sam's was one of sadness for me not believing what he said and for him not being able to help me. I felt so bad for how I acted. I was shoving them away and didn't really realize it. I sent Dean a text.

Hey, can you both come in here? I have something to say.

Sure

Moments later, Dean walked in with Sam following closely behind. "What's wrong?" Dean questioned as tears fell.

"I've been acting so stupidly and treating you both pretty badly. I want to explain and apologize." I started.

"You don't need to." Sam consoled.

"Yes I do." I insisted. "I'll start with you, Dean. I see the way you've looked at me ever since I brought up the powers. You have a look of pity and concern in your eyes. I know it hurts to see me upset and I've been doing nothing but shove you away. I'm sorry. I know you want to help me be ok with everything and I have been acting like I think you want to hurt me or kill me but I know you don't. Sam, baby, I've treated you the worst. You said so many nice and amazing things about me yet I wasn't believing you. I know you weren't lying but it's hard to feel normal about all of this. You wanted to help me yet I shoved you away too. I'm sorry. Once I sent you out, I did some thinking about both of you and you were right. I may feel different because I don't have to hide anything or pretend to be someone I'm not anymore, but I'm still the same person and personality I always was. I'm sorry to you both that it took me this long to realize that." I told them.

"Wow. Caitlin, you have no reason to be sorry. I was worried about you but I understood it was hard. You shoved me away so you could process and I knew that. I never took any of that as mean. Don't worry so much. I'm glad you're ok with everything. You know you can talk to me any time. I'll let you two finish." Dean consoled. He walked over and gave me a slight hug before leaving the room. Sam moved and sat next to me on the bed. He let out a sigh.

"I'm sorry. I'm sure you're mad."

"I'm not mad. I'm just sorry that I- never mind." He didn't finish. I had to coax him into continuing. "I- I was so inconsiderate of your feelings. I said a little bit to try to make you feel better but I should have been by your side the whole time and convinced you how amazing you are. If you hadn't asked me to stay, I would have walked out and left you alone when you were upset. I needed to be here for you more. And you don't need to apologize for shoving me away. I knew it was hard for you but I didn't do anything to make it easier. I was being a bad husband and I'm sorry."

"Sam, you were super considerate of my feelings. I knew you cared and you walked out because it was hard to deal with and because you didn't know what to do. It's ok. You were not a bad husband. You were amazing. You said so many nice things about me and you showed me how much you love me. I love you so much. You mean the world to me and I don't ever want to lose you for any reason." I told him. He was really amazing.

"You aren't gonna lose me. Why would I leave?" He asked.

"Because I'm pregnant, Sam." I stated cautiously. It had been a few days since I found out, but I didn't bring it up because of all this powers stuff.

"Caitlin, can I-"

"Yeah. Go process. I figured you would need time. Take your time." I consoled. I knew I was totally springing this on him. There was a knock on my door a while after Sam left. "Come in."

"Hey. So Sam told me." Dean stated.

"And?" I asked hesitantly.

"I'm happy for you. He's happy too, believe me. He just needs a little time to figure stuff out. How are you feeling about all of this?" He asked.

"I'm ok. A lot's been happening lately. Is Sam ok enough for me to come out or does he need more time?" I questioned.

"He's probably ok. Do you need help out of bed or are you alright?"

"I'm ok. Just a little bruised." I got up and followed Dean out.