Old Friends

26- Result

I woke up to see Sam cradling me in his arms. Tears were filling his eyes rapidly and dripping down his face. I reached up and wiped them away. "What happened?" I asked, wondering what I missed while I was passed out. He didn't answer but sat me up and hugged me tightly. "What's wrong, Sam? What did I miss?"

"I thought you were dead." He stated softly.

"I just passed out. I'm ok." He just nodded. I hugged him back tightly. "Its ok. Im right here. How long was I out?" Dean glanced at his watch.

"About 40 minutes. We thought you were dead. Your pulse was barely felt and we thought you were dying."

"Well, I'm ok. I don't totally know what happened, but I saw the demon smoke and angel grace flow out of me. Am I cured?" I wondered.

"You should be. There's no way to tell, but you should feel different. You know how your powers feel. Let's let you rest though. You were in a lot of pain." Sam replied. I nodded. I was sore and exhausted. Thrashing around gave me some bruises and hurt my muscles too.

I got up and it hurt quite a bit. I was following behind them on the way out. "Sam."

"Yeah babe?" He rushed back over to me.

"Can you help me? I hurt a lot. All that thrashing and everything hurt." I explained.

"Of course. Sorry." He helped me walk to bed. I climbed in and he started heading out.

"Sam, what's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Come here." He obeyed and walked over to me. "I don't care if you are upset or mad that we did that or if you think I'm a different person. Just tell me what's wrong." I urged.

"Just you scared me to death. You were in pain and I wanted to stop but I didn't and I thought I killed you. I'm trying to stay away from the situation for a bit so I can calm back down and give you time to rest." He explained honestly. I truly believed him.

"I understand. You just seem off. I want to be sure you're ok." He nodded and headed out. "Wait."

"What?"

"Will you stay? Please? I'm scared too. I just want you to be next to me right now. I need you." He nodded and climbed in next to me.

"I love you, honey. Why are you so scared?"

"I love you too. I'm scared about being cured. I don't know what this means for who I am or for us or anything." I explained.

"Why us? I told you I would love you regardless and treat you like I always have." He questioned.

"Why wouldn't you treat me different? You have every reason to. All this time, you never knew the real me. I've been trying to convince you I'm the same because it hurts when you don't think I am, but you have every reason not to treat me like you used to. Sure, my personality is the same, but I don't know who I am anymore. I've been hiding these powers for years and now I feel that weight lifted off, but I'm left with a void I don't know what to do with. You didn't fall in love with me. You fell in love with a monster. I know you want me to accept that you'll treat me the same, but it's hard." I explained.

"I get that it's hard for you. You feel like you're incomplete now and I understand that. I loved you ever since we were kids and you didn't have powers then. I know the real you. Tell me one thing that's different between who you were before we cured you and who you are now." He insisted.

"I don't have as much of a hold on emotions. The angel grace fueled the good in me a lot. I don't have as much bad emotions either now that the demon side is gone. I'm more neutral in a sense. I don't know what that's gonna mean though. My point is that I'm different."

"I get it. You probably just won't be as conflicted emotionally. I can't think of one negative to curing you. Just relax. I'm right here. You need to rest. If you need to sleep, you can." He consoled. I nodded. I snuggled close to him and laid my head on his chest. He pulled me in tightly and I was out in a flash.

I woke up to Sam looking down at me with a smile on his face. "Hey, babe." He said before kissing my forehead.

"Hey. Thanks for staying." I replied. I felt so comforted.

"Of course. I'm always here for you."

"Sam, are you sure you still love who I am? I don't want you to love me if you're gonna regret it later." I reasoned. I tried to hide my powers but I knew I was different or at least I felt like I was.

"Caitlin, baby. Why do you keep doing this to yourself? Quit acting like one second you were this normal person and then the other you're an evil monster who deserves to die. I think you severely underestimate how much I love you. I love you more than you can imagine. You may feel different but you aren't. Your personality is the same dorky yet sweet one I have always seen. You're still my gorgeous wife. You're still the only one I will ever love. You are perfect, powers or no powers."

"I just don't get how you love me so much. I lied to you for years, I did things under the influence of those powers that I can't take back, I feel like this horrible evil thing and it's hard for me to feel otherwise."

"I understand that. I've always loved you. You are not evil and horrible. You are the nicest most caring person I have ever met. Give yourself some credit." He begged. I knew it hurt him to see me do this to myself but I felt so different. I simply nodded, incapable of coming up with a response. "Caitlin, I wasn't trying to sound mean. I just care that's all."

"I know, Sam. It's ok. I'll be alright. Just let me be alone for a bit ok? I just need to think." I asked of him.

"Of course. Take all the time you need. You know where I am." He placed a gentle kiss on my forehead and left the room.