Carl Gallagher's frenemy

№8

Trustworthy

I don't care how messy you're life is, mine's messier. Ever since Carl spoke the words,“I'll ruin you Carpenter” I discovered a facade that I never wanted to see. My life's been a disaster ever since. Carl did everything to make my life unbearable. He started by fear.

Carl didn't scare me, but scared the others. People used to fear me a little because of my attitude but now it was because of something else. Because every single person that was friends with me or even acquaintances, would get Carl on his back. Carl meant  him and his friends. Him and his acquaintances. Him and everyone.

I couldn't let him hurt Cameron and Jake. Of course,  they didn't listen when I told them to leave me on my own so I had to make them leave. I wasn't going to let their lives turn into hell because of my pride. So I did the thing that I could do the best..being a bitch. I told them that I didn't want to be their friends and used them for my plan against Carl and that Cameron could've gotten arrested and I wouldn't have cared. I knew that they doubted that I actually felt that way. And even if I shouldn't, I wanted them to hang on to this little ounce of trust.

But they didn't.

Arizona had other problems. Her half-sister was between life and death in London, she had to go see her. The fact that it was happening as soon as my life turned upside down, made me wonder if Carl didn't have a link with any of this. Maybe that was simply what I deserved.

It was me, then. Me against the world, like it used to be before. I wasn't used to it anymore. I loved having friends. I loved telling them about details of my life that I usually wouldn't even think about. I'm not the same person as I was before I came here. Of course, Carl seemed to be a reincarnation of the devil itself. He didn't stop it there. His insults kept floading. Everyday.

Everyday he insulted me, made a rude remark, pushed me in the hallways. It was the closest thing to bullying.

I never fought back because he wasn't worth it. I was tired of these games, who cared who was the queen or king of the school ? At this stage, it didn't matter to me, nothing really did.

But I had something to hold on to. Well, someone. It was the one and only Steve Harold. He was the highlight of my day, the only reason I kept going to school. I tried to make him leave but he stayed. He refused to let me down. I didn't need someone before him. The idea of being lonely seems much more terrifying now that I know what it is like to be appreciated for your personality. Yesterday night, he asked me out. It felt like I was breathing again, as if Carl haven't been doing all those cruel things to me. I never felt that way, I hated love stories, I hated this cliche feeling. I found myself being more emotional, still as sassy, but very observant. I cared about little stupid things like his scent. He smelled like soap and I loved it.

He was another reason why I wasn't fighting back. Steve made me want to be different. I didn't know if I liked him that intensely, in order to stop myself from thinking about Carl, but it still felt pretty real.

Yes, I did think about the devil itself. He was rude but so tempting, intriguing. And I hated him for it.

Like I said, I didn't want Steve to leave me. I knew that if I had to change who I was for someone than they weren't worth it but I coudn't help it with him. I couldn't afford losing someone, at least not until Ari was far away.

Who was I starting to become ?

The sound of my phone beeping pulls me back to reality. I look down to see a text from Steve,'Meet me at my house ?'

'ok, I'll be here in 10' I answer and turn around to walk towards his house. As soon as I arrive, I realize there's some music inside and people are talking. I stand in front of the door. What's the point of seeing them anyway ? Carl's probably among them. Why'd Steve invite me ?