Carl Gallagher's frenemy

№10

The truth had to come out

Nothing mattered anymore because the pain was taking over. The pain of seeing myself change for some boy. What he did was all it took to bring me over the edge. I was more than surprised as I found myself getting up and getting ready for school. I did it without thinking, the movements had nothing human, they were mechanic. Forced.  As I walked inside of the school, the only thing I could think of was Carl. I couldn't take more of his games. I had to manage to leave, to stop whatever was happening. Everything hurt more than I thought it could ever hurt.

I walked, head down, ashamed of myself as everyone gazed at me with big eyes. Today Chloe was far from being the baddie, a smirk wasn't stuck on her face. Because even when Carl would insult me everyday, I'd be silent but my facial expression would make up for it. He never got to erase the vibe I had. He and everyone else knew that I couldn't care less about his verbal assaults and it probably annoyed him even more. That was why he was going so hard on me but at that time, what mattered was Steve.

I felt a hard body push into me and I looked up to Carl, of course,“Watch ou-”

“Carl just stop !” I yelled and everyone stopped walking to stare. He frowned,“Jesus Christ, just...stop it. I'm done. All you do is annoy me and put effort into making my life worse. Your plan with Steve worked perfectly. Congrats. But you just don't know when to fucking stop!” I snapped,“You're obsessed. You say that I am but you are! Your whole life's about me, as if you just wake up everyday and think about different ways to hurt me. I'm sick of seeing you around me! At the beginning it was just fun but it doesn't get any of us anywhere, fuck! You want to win, right ? You want me to feel like the biggest shithead in the world, no ?” I scoffed and let out a sarcastic laugh and spoke louder, “Well congratulations, Carl Gallagher, you fucking won !”

“Chloe...”

I turned around, feeling this knot in my stomach. I shouldn't have came. I feel like a shattered glass that's been stepped on, over and over. Fighting him back never helped anything out since it never seemed to work. I stepped outside and almost jumped as I heard,“Chloé, what the hell do you mean ? You looked more than okay, yesterday” he said in a rush.

Oh, was he really going to ignore yesterday's big prank ? About him telling me about me his feelings ?

“Well maybe if you didn't text me yesterday night, I'd feel even better!”

“What ?” I ignored him and kept on walking, facing my back to him,“Chloe could you just stop for a second ?!” he questioned angrily. I finally swirled back which made him stop abruptly. His eyebrows were furrowed, his cheeks red because of the weather.

How can someone be so damn beautiful and infuriating at the same time ?

“Oh don't you dare act angry Carl, I've been more than patient with you!”

“I don't even know what you're talking about!” he screamed back.

“Do you really think I'm going to buy that?! You're so fucking obnoxious, sickening and-”

“So are you ! Could you just stop acting crazy and tell me what all of this is about ?” his tone seemed sincere.

“Look through your phone!” I yelled, rolling my eyes. He hastily took out his phone and as I saw him scroll down, reading his text, everything was silent. The calmness made the situation much more bearable but I didn't want to stop talking because I wanted to stay angry and honest. Wind blew into his hair and I had to stare. He was cold too and it shocked me to realize that he was somehow human since his lack of empathy was striking.

He glanced up at me,“I...I never sent those, Chloe, I swear”

I knew better. He had to be lying.

“Keep your lies to yourself” I spat.

“I'm not lying, I didn't...I never sent that. I wouldn't do that.”

“You must be shitting me. How stupid do you think I am ? I mean you didn't hesitate when it came to making me fall in love with Carl and making sure that his feelings for me were a lie !”

His eyes twisted in confusion,“What ?”

“What! Are you going to tell me you don't remember that either ?” I harshly said.

“You said Carl. To make you fall in love with Carl.” he frowned and his expression was completely unreadable.

“I...You know I didn't mean...You know what ? Yes!  I said Carl! How can I not ? You're always on my damn mind!  You make me literally crazy!  You keep hurting me over and over, doing your best to ruin me !” I cried.

“Well fuck Chloe! You're as much on my mind as I am on yours! You're unpredictable! All your wicked plans, your attitude! I feel like I never get to you! One day you joke around with me and the other you do your best to humiliate me. I don't know how to feel nor act either! Because the only damn thing I'm good at, is being rude!” he breathed heavily when he finished as if he just ran a marathon. I never thought he'd ever open to me.

I spoke calmly,“Then why don't you ever stop ?” I waited a second before talking again,“I stopped a long time ago but you keep pushing and pushing !” I felt my anger come back, “You've been doing this for weeks and you could've stopped! But you kept fucking going, you kept-”

“I know !” he yelled while I was talking but I kept going.

“-acting like I wasn't worth anything, playing with my feelings! I can't take it anymore !” People started to slow down their pace as they walked next to us, to watch us.

“Chloe, calm down.” he whispered but I kept going,“And all you do is lie to me! How do I know you didn't sent those damn texts! You're probably already planning something else for me !”

“Chloe, please, calm-”

“DO NOT TELL ME TO CALM THE CALM THE FUCK DO-” His arm snaked around my waist and he pressed his lips against mine, leaving me, speechless. I tried to ignore his warmth, what I felt. Because his lips against mine felt so right, that it scared me. That the fact that we were so alike horrified me. The only thing I was good at was also being rude. I finally pushed him away,“WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!” I screamed so hard that his eyes widened even more.

“Shit, sorry I didn't mean to...I..I needed you to calm down”

“DO YOU CALM EVERYONE LIKE THAT?!” I took a step back.

“Chlo-”

“You're INSANE !! Something's wrong with you !”

“Listen,I didn't send the texts, I was at a party yesterday and Nicole took my ph-”

“It doesn't even matter anymore. I just need you to-” the feeling I had from kissing him seconds ago was still there. I've never felt so alive.

“I will stop. Okay? I'm as done as you are.” he cut me.

“How do I know you-”

He interrupted me again, “I swear, I'm not lying.  I know you have no reason to believe but...I am being honest.”

I don't know how to feel. He could be laughing any second, telling me that it was all a stupid prank. Again.

“Carl why did you kiss me ? Why do you suddenly care ? Why..” He put his hands over my shoulders,“Hey, hey.” we gazed at each other and it quickly became awkward, so he removed his hands,“Stay calm..” he whispered and I let out a sigh.

“I..don't know why I kissed you. I just wanted you to remain calm but I didn't know how. I, now, realize that it wasn't the best way to do that. And uh...i didn't know you were in love with Steve. That's why I care. Because love hurts.”

I didn't know what to say. I believed him even if I shouldn't have. I couldn't trust him already. But my heart kept telling me to move forwards with him. I was discovering a new facade of Carl, and I couldn't help but love it. Exactly like I loved when his facial expression was readable. Loved it like I loved his lips against mine.

Loved it like I loved him. I loved him violently, for who he was, for what he had lived and for driving me completely crazy.