A/N: short chapter.
chapter seventy-six |
Jason POV
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Once my eyes lift up from my cellphone screen, our eyes lock. I notice a tear fall from her eye. She knew it was me, without even seeing my face. Everything about seeing her, feels like the first time I had laid eyes on her. Her sorry eyes bore into my regretful ones. All I want is to hold her, it's been so long since I've felt the touch of her skin, looked into her [insert eye color] eyes. Every inch of me wants to passionately kiss her, from the looks of her face, it doesn't seem like she wants to kiss me.
She quickly shuts her eyes, opening them up slowly. I let my eyes scan over her body, while her eyes stay lock on mine. She suddenly spins around, walking back across the road.
It hurt. She's able to just walk away from me?
You were able to just walk away from her. I told myself.
I just thought she missed me & she'd do anything to see me again, because that's how I felt. That's why I'm here, Has she lost all feelings for me?
"Wait,"
She stops abruptly. I feel a sigh of relief escape from my mouth. What am I supposed to say now? She spins around, resting her hands over her chest.
"What?" She softly asks. It sounds like she is on the verge of crying,
I took a huge breath.
"I-I love you,"
I watch as she bits on her lip, reframing herself from breaking down. Does she even believe me? She's probably questioning my love for her. I feel like complete shit, because I'm the cause for all of this. All of this could've been avoided. I was just so insecure,
The crickets chirping is the only thing that can be heard. Everything is dead silent after I confessed my love for her. The trees were softly blowing, under the sun that is slowly setting. It feels like hours waiting for her to say something—anything. What is she thinking about?
"Anything else?" She finally says. I felt a rush of water, threaten to fall from my eyes. Her response hurt me. I know that I hurt her & she's upset but I feel like me leaving her, caused her to fall out of love with me. I keep pushing these straining thoughts to the back of my mind.
"I'm sorry,"
"Okay." She says.
"That's it?,"
She shrugs. "What am I supposed to do? Embrace you? Kiss you?" She asks sarcastically.
"I want you to show some type of emotion,"
"I showed my type of emotion when I begged you on the phone to say something, anything, to let me know that you still loved me." She says, she frustratingly runs her fingers through her hair. She's completely right.
"I know you did. I just—,"
"You just what?,"
"I couldn't tell you that I love you,"
Her face falls, "What?" She asks swallowing down nervously.
"You would've hoped & waited for me, & then I would've never showed up—because I wasn't ready to. The reason why I'm standing right here, in front of you, is because I realized that being without you makes me a different person. And I realized that I'm bad for you, but you're good for me." I let out. My chest is heaving up and down, while I try to regain my breath. I swallow down hard, studying her features.
She stares at me cautiously. I slowly open my truck door, stepping inside. A tear quickly falls down my face, as I start my engine. She quickly flutters her eyes, pushing back her tears. I didn't want to leave her, but I knew she needed time.
& I am willing to wait,
She stands distraughtly in the middle of the road, watching my car drive away. I watch her figure from my rear view mirror, as it slowly grows farther away. The tears then start pouring down my face.
This is the first time I ever cried my eyes out for a girl.
A/N: Thanks for reading. Comments?
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SHE'S MINE → JASON MCCANN
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