Just Trying To Find My Way | #Wattys2016

I Exhaled

Micah POV

I guess this is it, this is what dying feels like. It's actually painless, I feel nothing as the gun go off. Here I am, being swallowed into death's black hole, and it's easier than I thought, much easier. We all have this idea of what death is. We dread it, we fear it, we think it's painful, lonely, and cold. But it's not that at all. It's actually painless, numb, blank, dark, quiet. I never thought in a million years I would come this close to death at a young age, but I guess you never know when death might come and kiss you with it's chilly lips and succumbs you into it's black hole, the pit of darkness and nothingness. I'm thinking of all the things I could've done! All the things I could've seen, spend more time with my mama and daddy, be happy, live out my dreams! Wow my dreams! The life I had planned for myself, is now so blasé, just gone! This is death, dark, nonthingness, numb, black hole.
"Micah" I can hear Austin voice but I can't see him, it's darkness every direction I turn. I try to call after him as he keeps calling my name but nothing comes out. All of a sudden a tiny speckle of light breaks the darkness. Although very tiny the light illuminates everything above me. I forgot everything anyone ever told me about death, about not going into the light. "Micah" I can hear Austin call my name more clearly from above where the light was coming from. My body begin to float towards the light as the little speckle in a sea full of darkness begin to swell. Now I'm blinded by the light, can't see anything but I can hear Austin still call my name............

"Micah?" Austin said as I opened my eyes with my head laying in his lap. "Austin were dead right?" I asked as I looked into his face, the face I thought I'd never see again. "No Micah, we're not dead! You're not even shot! I killed those bastards!" Austin told me. I had to pinch myself to believe that my body is still alive. "How?" I asked. "Jaquan punk ass didn't know I already had on a vest. So I played dead just to buy time, make sure the goons were gone. I'm just glad I got here in the nick of time or I woulda lost you!" Austin told me wrapping his arms around me. I still on the other hand couldn't help to think that I was still alive. I lifted my head off his lap and looked around and I saw Miles body lay lifeless. I actually feel kind of sad, despite it all I never wanted it to end this way! Miles was once my friend and his death will never be something that I will celebrate in, but I won't cry over him either.
I look to the left and saw Jaquan body right beside him, lifeless. My heart froze! The man I loved, the man I was going to choose, was playing me the whole time! With knowing all of that, my hearts still yearn for him!! Lord knows I didn't want him dead! I scream out as I crawl to his body. I repeatedly beat on his chest screaming for him to come back but he wouldn't. Austin came and grabbed me and pulled me away!
"FREEZE! PUT YOUR HANDS UP WHERE I CAN SEE THEM!!" I heard from the door as policemen barged in surrounding is. I threw my hands in the air and they grabbed us and lead us down the stairs for questioning, already down there was a scared little Ava, and Kelcey explaining the story of what happened to am officer....

8 Days Later...

"How you feeling?" Kelcey asked me while bringing me a bowl of soup to my couch I was laying on. "Kelcey, I should be asking how you're doing, you went through as much as I did." I reminded her. "Yeah but I'm healing, you're not, you're still heartbroken over a guy you thought loved you, so you have every right to be in a funk, but soon you're going to have to start getting it together boo!" Kelcey told me. "I hear you!" I told. "How is Ava?" She asked me. "As well as anybody her age could be while going through this situation, some stuff she don't understand. I hate she had to witness that mess! I actually let her talk me into letting her stay with me for a few days, don't ask how, It's Ava. Besides Austin needs a much needed break." I told Kelcey. "How are you and Austin by the way?" She asked. "We're good! I mean I think we are, we both decided it's best that we take it slow, that we find our way again. I love him, he loves me, I love and adore Ava more than any person on the planet other than you!" I told her. "Well I'm glad you got that figured out." She said.
"Thank You!" I told her. "What for?" She asked. "For being the best best friend anyone could ask for. For not leaving me twisted in the wind, for being my shoulder to cry on, for being my rock, for being my sister! I don't tell you enough that I love you and I appreciate you!" I told her tearing up! I really do love and appreciate everything she do! "Micah I have to tell you something, I probably should've told you sooner." Kelcey said. "What?" I asked hoping she wasn't about to say she's Miles sister! "Micah you're not going to like it, but just listen. I love being there for you and being a rock for you and that shoulder you cry on, all of that you mentioned. But while doing that I lost a piece of myself, I been so worried about you lately I've forgotten to live, don't get me wrong I love being your person, but I need to breathe a little, live a little, not worry about you all the damn time and just go be me. I been thinking about this for some time now, and after this last event I definitely think it's time to not only let you fly, but to also let me fly. So I decided to just take a semester off after summer break, just so I can have some time to fly, to soar, to bathe in the sun!" Kelcey told me.
I took it all in everything she said, instead of feeling some kind of remorse for her decision to leave, I actually felt relieved. She was right we both need to fly! Although my days will be empty without my friend, I can honestly say yes, go fly! "I love you Kelcey!" I told her as hugged her crying. It was time for me to grow up and make my own decisions