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Chapter 15: Worse Than Nicotine

A regular update, wow! We would just like to say thank you all so much for 600 reads. We are really trying to keep up the weekly updates for you guys and we would love to do something special for you guys. Maybe a contests some sort? Anyways, thank you all for 600 reads. We hope you enjoy the rest of the story!

         ~ Elizabeth 💕 and Reem 🌺

Chris' POV

   Ever since Phil got out of the hospital I've been there to see him fix himself, little by little. I'd like to think I'm the one who is helping him, but I don't think I am. Considering I'm the reason he's broken. I've heard him talking to someone named "Dan" a lot. I so desperately want to know who he is but Phil doesn't know I hear his conversations.

   I'm standing outside of Phil's room and he's talking to Dan again. They're talking about me staying with Phil. I can hear Phil say that I'm leaving after he's back on his feet, he sounds as though he's convincing himself rather than this Dan person. I let Phil finish his thought and then knock on his closed door.

"Come in." He says from the other side of the door, his voice drenched in boredom or sadness.

   I hesitantly open the door and poke my head in.

"I'm going out for a bit. Do you want anything?" I ask.

"No, I'm good." The sad tone still covers his normally perky voice.

"Do you want to come with me, Phil?"

"Chris,I-I can be on my own. Don't worry" He stutters.

I nod and turn away and begin to walk. I then look back with sad eyes.

"I'm fine, Chris." He adjusts his hair.

I turn away again and keep walking until I'm out of the flat. It would be good for Phil to get out more but that's not the reason I asked. The picture of PJ and I is all over the internet, everyone thinks I'm with PJ. I guess they aren't wrong, there is something going on between us. I just wish they knew there was something with Phil too.

Phil always liked to keep our relationship private and whenever he was asked about us, he would avoid answering. Phil isn't one to lie, which is something I love about him. Of course him not denying anything gets people talking, we never really acknowledged that though.

I turn a corner and walk past a few shops. Phil always covers his feelings when he's not well. Very badly I might add.

   Phil is a kind creature.

   Hurting him would fill anyone with grief.

   I know that I am guilty of this but at the end of the day I wasn't right for him. Our personalities didn't compliment each other nicely. I'm too open and extroverted, I don't care what people think about me.

   But Phil is adorable and sensitive. As much as I'd love to be in love with him, I can't.

   I need someone more like me right now. Someone who expresses thoughts openly without regret or shame. Someone like PJ.

PJ?

   I watch as his black winter coats zooms past me along with his unmistakable curls. Green eyes filled with envy, I don't think he even notices me in the moment as I call out his name.

   My gaze follows PJ as he sprints in the direction I came from. He's heading towards Phil. Without thinking, my legs chase after PJ. I seem to be gaining on him but it doesn't make a difference as I'm stuck at a light for a while. I try and peer past the cars driving between PJ and I and I can barely see him turn and knock on Phil's door.

The light turns green as Phil opens the door and PJ forces his way into the flat. My legs continue to move as fast as they can and the distance between Pj, Phil and I closes. When I arrive at the flat, the door is unlocked and I can hear harsh, loud words from inside. I turn the handle and expel the door away from me. Before me stand the two people I love, yelling at each other over me.

"Well speak of the devil" Phil snaps as they both turn to face me.

Their faces read two different emotions but both of them have hatred in their eyes, which I assume is aimed at me.

"PJ, what are you doing here?" I try and sound in control but my voice ends up weak.

"What am I doing here? Chris. What are you doing here? I thought you said there was nothing going on between you and Phil. That you broke up with him." PJ's voice constantly switches from sad to angry.

   As PJ says this, I look over to Phil. Tears are making their way to his eyes and his face as well as his body goes limp, weak. It pains me to see him in this state. The bags under his eyes are no doubt better but still clearly visible.

"Chris?" Phil's voice is weak and barely a whisper. Tears have started to fall from his eyes and down his face, they collect on his chin and continue to fall to the ground.

"Chris?" PJ repeats, my eyes wander over to him.

Phil's POV

Chris looks over at PJ, passion fills his eyes. He loves PJ, not me. I should have known from when that picture was posted. No. From when he broke up with me. Towards the end, he was spending more time with PJ. I didn't think much of it though. I thought they were just friends, guess not.

"How long?" I ask, right as Chris opens his mouth to say something.

Chris closes his mouth and hesitates. "What?" He finally says, his tone soft and sweet. Stop thinking that way Phil.

"How long have you loved PJ? You know what, never mind. I don't- I don't even want to know."

"Phil-" Chris starts but I cut him off.

"No, don't Phil me! Get out," I turn to PJ, "both of you! Just go, and don't ever come back." That last sentence is a whisper but they obviously heard.

Chris tenses up and PJ walks up to him. He puts a hand on his shoulder. I can't help but stand still, trying to hold tears back but failing miserably. Behind the blur of tears I can see Chris look into PJ's eyes and turn with him. They walk away, too calmly considering the situation. Chris turns back as he goes to shut the front door and looks at me. I just glare back at him, hoping he can read how I'm feeling. He flinches, turns away, and shuts the door.

More and more tears fall as Chris gets farther and farther away from me with PJ. I stumble back to the nearest wall and quickly slide down it. Head in my hands, I just sob. I'm not sure how long I'm on the ground before I call out to Dan.