If the Sky Falls ➳ Hal Mason

Chapter 37

Death. That was all I saw.

Those hopeful blue eyes staring right at me as he made his best to walk towards us, but then they filled with agony. One... two... three bullets got across his body and made him fall on his knees. Boon was dead.

I couldn't keep that horrible memory out of my head. There were so many people dying and I couldn't bare it anymore. My brother, my parents, Mike, Jimmy, Rick, Boon, Jamil, all dead because of us... because of me.

The medbus made a sharp turn, making a few thing land over my lap and waking me up of my daydreaming.

"Sorry! These roads are full of holes," Anne shouted and continued driving.

I chuckled and turned around to look at Lourdes, who was laying on the back of the bus. Her expression was blank and she was curled up in some blanket, not talking to anyone.

We had left the hospital hours ago and we were now on our way to Charleston, but she hadn't said a word since we left. I feared that all that Jamil's death was too much for her and that she wouldn't continue her life. I knew how she felt, but space was the best thing I could give her at that moment.

"Anne!" Colton's voice made me turned around towards him.

Matt, Avery, and Colton were all sitting on the medbus' floor. Laughing, talking and playing cards to keep themselves busy.

"Yeah?" Anne responded from the front of the bus.

"Are we there yet?" Matt asked for the billionth time.

"No, but we are doing the last stop, so I recommend you to stretch your legs because it's going to be a long trip."

All three of them groaned and started placing the cards in its box.

I stretched my arms over my body and got up, walking towards Lourdes. I ducked beside her and forced a smile.

"Hey Lourdes, we're doing the last stop. Why don't we go and take a walk?" I talked as sweetly as I could.

"It's all your fault," Lourdes said simply, not angry at all.

"What?"

"They were coming for you and Ben and now Jamil's dead, isn't that ironic?" She let a sarcastic laugh out.

"Lourdes, I-"

"They have all suffered tragic deaths because of you," Lourdes told me in a calm tone.

She left me speechless. How was I supposed to respond? It was all true, I was toxic. Everyone who got near me died or eventually would.

At that exact moment, the bus stopped and all I could think about was to get out of there. So I did, I ran like a coward until I reached a tree, a few meters from the rest of the trucks. I placed my hands on the tree, seeking for support as I felt like everything was spinning around.

I fought the urge of losing control, but I knew it was coming. My heart started accelerating uncontrollably and I could feel a hard pressure on my chest. I gasped for air as my throat slowly closed and within minutes, tears raced down my face. I was having one of those again, even though my last one was when my parents died, I knew exactly how an anxiety attack felt.

My knees became week, making me go down to the ground. The thoughts of Jimmy, Rick and the others came rushing to my mind. I took my shaking head between my hands as more and more sobs came out.

"Em?" I heard Hal's voice from behind me, but I couldn't more.

"Go away!" I screamed, not daring to look into his perfect eyes.

"Em-"

"Leave! I don't want you here," I said between my teeth as the pain in my chest became stronger.

He needed to get away from me if he wanted to live. Everything around me died and I didn't want that for him, I loved him too much.

"Emily, please we just want to help," There was a new voice, Tom's.

"Ben, I need Ben."

He was the only one that could understand me at that point. Ben was the only one that knew how it felt to be responsible for so many deaths.

No one talked, but in a few seconds, I heard a couple of boots walked through the grass. I turned around and there was Ben with a sad expression on his face.

I wasted no time and threw myself into his arms. At that exact moment, I locked eyes with Hal, who was a couple of meters from us looking at me with sadness, and anger. I quickly closed my eyes and Ben hugged me tight, making his best to calm me down.

The anxiety attack came to an end after a few minutes and we sat on the green grass.

"What was that about?" Ben asked.

"Everyone is dying, Ben," I muttered said.

He nodded, "Yes because we are at war." He sighed, "Listen, about what I said earlier-"

"I'm leaving with you," I cut him off.

He gave me a sweet smile and kissed my cheek lightly, "No, you aren't."

I looked at him incredulously. I wasn't joking around, I had made my decision to keep everyone safe.

"Ben, I'm not letting more people die."

"People are going to die, that's a fact and nothing is going to change that, but you're not leaving, they need you here more than you ever know." Ben thought for a minute and continued, "It's not our fault. All we're doing is fighting for something that we believe in."

Ben took my hand, "It's dangerous for people to be around me," I stated.

"No, I'm pretty sure they won't be coming back when they know I left, they'll assume you left with me."

"I-"

"Emily, you don't need to leave, but I need to continue with the resistance movement," Ben stood up.

"I need to go with you!" I stood up, too.

"Take care of them, okay? Especially Hal, he really loves you."

"Okay," I whispered giving up.

I knew inside me that I didn't want to leave and this made it even easier for me to stay. Yes, I wanted to accompany Ben and I was going to miss him every day, but everything I had was here with the Second Mass. I didn't want to put anyone in danger, but my selfishness was greater.

I hugged Ben once more. His arms ran through my back and I squeezed him tight. A few tears slipped down my cheek, dropping on his cloth.

"Don't you dare die, Ben. We need you here too, so come back, okay?" I whispered into his ear.

We got out of our embrace and he kissed my forehead.

"Okay," Ben said with a sweet smile and a nod, "I'll see you soon, Emily," and with that, he started walking into the deep woods.

"Do you love him?" A deep voice made me jump. 

I turned on my heels and spotted Hal. His face was bright red and his fists were besides his body. He didn't looked at me though, his gaze fell on the ground.

"W-what?" 

"I said, do you love him?" Hal said again, but this time screaming at me.

Could I feel something more than friendship for Ben? Could I love him?