Bad Boys Kidnapped Me

I Want You

My mother was a women like no other. She gave me life, nurtured me, provided for me, taught me, dressed me, fought for me, held me, shouted at me, kissed me, but most importantly, loved me unconditionally.

There are not enough words I can say to describe how important my mother was to me and what a powerful influence she was on me.

And I took her away.

Not just from me, but from my father and brothers, and the world. Now no one would ever hear her laugh, her voice.

And it's all because of me. I killed my own mother.

I wish I could see her one more time. I wish she would just walk through the door and smile and give me a kiss and a hug.

Instead, I watch my mom lay deep in the soil with a tomb stone over her grave. It had been a week. A week since that horrible day. They had just buried her into the dirt and I watched from afar, alone.

I haven't spoken to my father or my brothers. In fact I haven't spoken to anyone. Even Ryder. I had just locked myself in a spare guest room in one of the boys mansions.

I didn't eat. I didn't sleep. I didn't move. I just stared at the ceiling with silent tears streaming down my face. How could I ever face my brothers or dad again?

Chelsea told me they had told my dad everything. The kidnapping, Ryder was a gang leader, the symptoms of the injections wearing off. And all he did was listen with a blank stare and walk out of the living room.

Drew had tried talking to me multiple times, even sleep outside my door but I couldn't do it. I couldn't bear to look at him.

I left a husband and two teenagers without a mom on our eighteenth birthday. All because I wasn't strong enough.

Chelsea had tried to get me to come the funeral but I refused. I couldn't just stand there and listen to everyone talk how great my mum is and how she was still with us, and how she wasn't really gone.

But I couldn't help myself. I showered, got dressed and drove to the funeral and watched from afar, hidden from everybody.

I watch as everyone drives away as the funeral was over and stare at the remaining nine people crowded around her.

My dad, Zach, Drew, Chelsea, Ryder and the boys. The boys were all in suits and Chelsea wore a black dress, her hair in a bun with white pearls.

Ryder.

I refused to see him. I didn't open the door when he banged on it and yelled to let him in, and when he broke the door, I hid under the covers and heard the boys drag him away.

Chelsea was also staying with us now. She had been spending time with me and when I kicked her out, she would sleep and spend her time with Dani.

I watched as she leaned into Dani's side and craved for the touch of Ryder. I missed him. I missed him so much, but to touch him with my blood coated hands. I couldn't do it.

I look at my dad. My poor dad. He stares at my mothers grave with sorrow and sadness. I took his wife for 20 years away from him.

I look up at the sky. The sun shining so bright, but the grey clouds looming over. It was sunny but also cloudy. Kinda like my mom. She was cheerful and bright but she could also freeze someone in their tracks with one stare.

Mom? I miss you so much. I am so sorry I was the cause of your final breath. What I wouldn't give to hear your voice again.

I see from the corner of my eye, everyone take a red rose and lay it gently on top of her grave. Roses were her favourite flower. She said even when something so beautiful like this rose, once you get too close the thorns with prick you. So something beautiful can also cause you pain.