light | m.c.

week three hundred | letter one

my dearest mikey,

by the time you open this journal, you have found out that i only have a few months to live and have terminal brain cancer. by now you also know that i have a few requests for you. i'll first start with only a few, but as you continue to read there will be more. my only hope is that you complete as many of these before and after i pass as you can.

the first list is short, but my time is, too. always use your time wisely, michael.

always.

1. fly my parents down from tallahassee

2. always spend your time with our baby alex marie - including while i'm in the hospital, it's important she knows you're there for her while i'm fading away.

3. spend more time with your mother and sister.

4. call my sister and tell her to fly down with her family. i want to see my niece and nephew before i leave. it is then your duty to comfort her as she realizes she's losing her baby sister.

5. always keep a smile on your beautiful pale face - keep this in mind especially when you're around me, it's my favorite thing about you besides your dazzling eyes.

this is all i have for you for now, please complete these five things soon. and remember that you're not in this alone, trust me i know i'm not either. you are my first and last love, mikey. i love you.

your love,

abbie

and so, i completed the first item on the list on monday morning with an eight a.m. call to her parents. i didn't tell them why they had to come down, it was better if abbie did it herself. ever so kindly did they comply to my request.

the second item wasn't easy to complete in the first week, but i did spend time with mom and alex as rachel was out of town. we spent tuesday and wednesday together, visiting abbie for a few hours on each day and then venturing out on our own after.

it wasn't until thursday that i reached her sister, emma. she was a little worried and said she would catch the first flight down to the keys.

the last item wasn't something you could physically check off, but you every time you succeeded you checked it off mentally. i counted up the tallies so far on friday and it amounted to thirty smiles a day. i was impressed with myself and felt a new light growing inside of me.

on saturday i picked abbie's parents up from the airport and chauffeured them to their hotel. i had offered for them to stay at my house, but they politely declined and said they'd be leaving in three days time.

they arrived late afternoon so they decided it'd be better if they got dinner and let abbie rest.

early sunday morning i picked up emma and her kids and she was anxious until we arrived at the hospital.

it didn't take long for her demeanor to change once we arrived and abbie revealed the news. i complied to abbies request and comforted emma.

you know what is possibly the saddest thing in the world?

watching somebody you love tell their family they're dying.