Uncontrollable // Ed Sheeran

~ 17 ~

I got back to my appartement as quickly as I could and knocked on the door. Ed opened it smiling but noticed the smudged mascara under my eyes. He knew that I'd been crying. I looked him in the eyes and walked past him to get through the door, putting down my bag and then heading straight to the window.

"Nina what's wrong?"

"Nothing, have you been okay?"

Ed went a little silent and when I turned round he was looking down and playing with his hands. He was obviously nervous about something.

"Ed?"

"Lara gave me a message to pass on to you. She came round, she knows about us."

I turned my head back around to look out of the window. Everything was becoming more and more real.

"I'm sorry Nina but I thought it was you and once she'd seen me I couldn't lie, nothing would have made sense"

"It's fine Ed, it doesn't matter"

He came up to me and wrapped his arms around me. I turned in towards him and wrapped my arms around tight. Only Ed made me feel safe.

"I love you" I whispered, and Ed whispered it back giving me a soft kiss on the forehead.

"What did Lara tell you to tell me?"

"That Harry's back"

I quickly pulled away from him and went and sat down on my bed. Now Ed knows about Harry, everything is getting worse and worse.

"Lara said to stay away from him, she doesn't want to get into trouble like you did with him and-"

"Jack. I know that Harry's back, I saw him at Ravensbry."

"Who is he? And what's going on Nina I'm worried"

"Don't be. I'm going to stay away from I can't stand to see him. It's all in the past and it's going to stay that way. It's all under control" I said trying to reassure Ed, but I lied. Everything was become more and more uncontrollable.

Ed still didn't look convinced but gave me a soft "okay" and pulled me into his arms again, kissing me softly. I felt safe with Ed, I felt like I was in a whole different world.

I ran my hands thought his fluffy ginger hair and continued down his face and his arm until finally grabbing hold of his hand. He smiled and rested his forehead against mine. He looked up at me, still smiling and lifted one hand against my face and the other was placed holding my hip. I started to feel a little uncomfortable but I told myself that I had to stop panicking and that I was with Ed and that he'd never hurt me but then he slipped his hand under my tshirt but only to touch my skin, but I freaked out and pushed him away. He looked confused, he hadn't done anything wrong. I just couldn't stop myself panicking. Nobody has been able to touch me for over a year.

I looked at Ed and saw the confusion and worry in his eyes so I just looked down. But I looked up at him again and smiled this time.

"I'm going to work on it okay?"

"On what?"

"The future"

Ed smiled back. I leaned in to kiss his on the lips, pulling him in closer to me.
______________________________________

Ed had said that he was going to go and get his stuff from the hotel and I said that I'd give him his own set ok keys. I knew that they were in one of my draws but I didn't know which. We both started looking through diffrent draws when Ed stopped and pulled something out.

"You found them?"

"No but I found this"

Ed had pulled out a little wooden box but when he opened it he recognized what was inside. Weed. I didn't know how Ed was going to react.

"Do you smoke this?"

"Sometimes" I said looking down nervously. I never questioned myself so much about my choices before I met Ed. He closed the box and put it on the table.

"Ed put it back in the draw, I won't use it"

"I was going to save it for later?" He said giving me a cheeky smile. I was speechless.

"Nina, you don't really think that I spent all that time sofa surfing in London and never smoked some weed?"

I'd never thought about it, what Ed used to do in London. I just thought about the music he was making. I giggled a little.

"I doesn't suprise me think about it now"

Ed gave me a bad boy smile and came over to me and pulled me in. He grabbed my hand but there was already something in it. I looked down and he'd found the keys. He was smiling looking very pleased with himself. I bit my lip a little and gently pushed him back a little.

"Go get your stuff Sheeran" I giggled. I heard Ed laugh, pick up his jacket and walked over to me to kiss me on the back of my neck before going out to pick up his stuff.