Little Red // A Jily Fan Fiction

Social Studies Paper

Above: Remus Lupin

Sirius Black had never been one to question himself. He had possessed a high self-esteem and confidence level when he became friends with James at the age of 11, and it those levels got higher when he moved in with the Potters and was finally away from the abuse of his mother and father. Everything in Sirius' mind was always black and white; this or that; yes or no. 

There were no grey areas, no in-betweens and no 'but what if's because it made it too complicated. 

However Sirius has currently found himself in the position that was bound to catch up with him eventually. Sirius is not at all one-sided on his situation and it's the one thing he can't go to James to for help. 

Sirius is questioning every single relationship (or fling) he's ever had. The majority of them were girls - these relationships (or flings) were the ones Sirius told the boys about - but there were a couple guys in there too - which the boys are clueless on. 

He had never thought he would one day end up questioning his sexuality, especially when the reason why he is suddenly questioning himself is because of one of his best friends. 

Remus fucking Lupin is making Sirius go stir crazy, even when Remus is all innocent and completely ignorant to Sirius' feelings. It's not even like Sirius can say the feeling's been in the back of his mind for a couple weeks; no, it suddenly sprung up on him in the space of an hour and then completely fucked up Sirius' entire thought process. 

Sirius doesn't have anything wrong with being gay, or bi, or the other sexual orientations he can't for the life of him remember right now. Actually, Sirius thinks it's fucking amazing that people can date whoever the hell they want regardless or if they have the same sex organs as them or not - but it doesn't change the fact that Sirius doesn't have that kind of courage to come out and tell people "hey, I like guys and girls can quite frankly stop even breathing in my direction" (which probably isn't how most gay guys come out but knowing Sirius that's exactly how he would end up telling people). 

And oh yeah, Remus is sat opposite him looking completely fucking adorable in that half-asleep state where his eyes are drooping and his lips are all pouty. Sirius had spent the night with the Lupins - or rather with Remus as his parents are out of town for a couple days - because they were supposed to be working on some lousy paper for Social Studies together but ended up just watching movies and texting James questions that piss him off. 

Remus is usually really on top of his homework, getting it done before the deadline and always to the best standard any teacher could possibly imagine. Sirius tries to, most of his assignments are on time and every piece he does he puts some effort into it and Sirius is smart (Ravenclaw material in fact) but he's hot-headed, easily distracted and always ends up ditching his homework to go kick a ball about with James and Peter anyway. 

Sirius had actually stepped through the front door of the Lupin's house prepared to finish the paper that night, but Remus was already looking like the walking dead and so they called it off and just stuck on Deadpool. 

"We really ought to start that paper now." Remus stretched his arms up over his head causing his sweater to ride up his chest and the self restraint Sirius had to use to not look at the line of hair started just under Remus' belly button and disappearing into his chins deserves some kind of award. 

"Ten more minutes." Sirius closed his eyes, leaning back in the chair and taking a deep sigh. It's around midday and after a very filling breakfast of everything in the cupboards the two teenagers were trying hard not to move in fear of vomiting. 

And wouldn't that look attractive, Sirius mused, throwing up in front of the guy you have a crush on; excellent way of making a move.