Engraved

Ch 20) Uncertainty

Jeff's point of view: 

It has been two weeks since I discovered my dad at the homeless shelter. Two weeks ago, we had an extremely awkward Christmas eve and Christmas. I had to spend Christmas at Andrea's house because her mother had called us over and she was eager to see my father again. 

 Things at home have been completely awkward for Fran, but I am just glad my dad finally home. Although, the house's main name still belong to my dad, Fran refused to let him sleep in the master bedroom with her. Her relationship with Marlon fell apart because he was uncomfortable with the idea of how my dad was staying in the same house as Fran. 

Dad has been sleeping on the couch for the past two weeks, just wandering the house, looking at old photographs and catching up on Sports news that he missed while he was at the homeless shelter.

 It was a Saturday and I woke up early - something that I usually never do.

When I was younger, my dad and I would go down to Creery Lake. The lake was near our home and the scenery was beautiful. Behind the lake, there was a vast field of green - tall trees and birds. Deep inside, I did want to relive some of the fond moments between me and my dad. Lately, we have spent a couple hours a day together just watching baseball on television - and I havent had much time to spend with Stephanie. I hope she understands that I need time to catch up with my dad. 

My dad had no clue that my relationship with Andrea had been rocky. We were not together anymore - in my eyes but I had never built up the courage to break up with her yet. 

I know, I know - I am a coward for that.. but I am not trying to hurt her in anyway. Stephanie doesn't know that I am still "technically" with her, but girls are not my concern right now. I want to help my dad return to his normal self. 

I convinced my dad to shave and change out of his pajamas.

As I drove us to the lake, he watched me, closely and finally said,

"So who taught you to drive?" 

I replied sort of bluntly,
"Fran taught me."

Tears began to flow from my father's eyes,
"Hey... Im sorry, Im so sorry I wasnt there for you. She did come back and try to get me out of there. I did not want to go back home at that time because I was still a junkie. I always looked forward to teaching you how to drive since you were little-I promised you when I brought you to your first Nascar race downtown." he said as he wiped his nose. 

I sighed, 
"Dad, let's not dwell on the past. The important thing is that you are here now. I just for the record, I forgot about that promise, so don't beat yourself up over it."

This was ironic of me to say, because I was dwelling on the past as I drove to the lake. The whole reason I wanted us to go fishing at the lake was because I wanted to relive past memories-I was being a hypocrite. To be honest, I never, ever, forgot that promise that he made to me when I was 8 at the Nascar race, but I didnt want him to feel guilty.

As we arrived at the lake, it was clear that the lake scenery was not the same. It looked as though the city forgot about it and left it neglected. 

The once, blue lake with a verdant forest background was now a green swamp. 

The scenery had immensely changed since the last time I was here with my father. 

The trees had grown taller, but the water around it was dirty and mossy. 

"Screw fishing, I dont even feel like fishing anymore." I said. 

My dad stared at the scenery, 

"..Me either. This place is a dump now..." 

We ended up getting ice cream. Something I hadn't done with him since he had left.  While my father pondered about what flavor he was going to choose - I silently wondered what the future had in store for him. Uncertainty.