Stay Away from Pleasure

Chapter Eleven

21:43PM

I haven't looked at the time in ages and I must say how it has flown by. I fiddle with my fingers the way I always do. I'm worried something bad will happen to Claire. I love her, of course. I'm all she has right now. That could all change, though, because of him. Mr. Jude Cory! He's oh-so-handsome and dapper in his trillion dollar tuxedo. Why does he have to be so perfect for her? I hardly know him, but I know Claire. She doesn't fall for just any man. Even when she was in the dreadful relationship that ruined everything, she and her partner were still compatible. She doesn't just allow men to walk over her. She's so strong and independent, I wish I was more like her. I wish I could resist temptation. I wish I could stay away from pleasure.

Now I'm here with Matt in the car. He has put his arm around me and I'm resting my head on his shoulder. If I'm not careful, I'll fall asleep right here in the car. That's the thing about me. No, it's him. He always does this. Quite frankly, it pisses me off. I'm not even tired, but he's the best pillow. I can't help but fall asleep in his arms all the time. I have grown so comfortable around him now. It's nothing like the cafe or in his office or in mine. That date changed my life. Now I just have to figure out if it was for the worse or the better.

I shift awkwardly in his grasp and he looks down at me. Already, I know what he's going to ask.

"Are you okay?" He asks. I'm understanding the way he thinks more. Hopefully, this'll make him an easier target. I can get him. I can get him to be mine, to love me.

I smile and look at him, "I'm just tired."

"We can go home then."

Home. It is home. I shake my head, "I don't want to make you go back if you want to stay out. I don't mind. I would love to spend more time with you and I think I'd just fall asleep if we went home."

He smiles, "I can't wait to show you off tonight."

My breaths slowly become shallow and non-existent. I press my thighs together and sit upright. My stomach knots and crunches and my breaths become more ragged. My heart churns at the thought that all the others are right and I am a fool. I'll bleed for him.

The sky is dark and the light of the night makes the moments between us all the more special. Picking at my nails, I feel his eyes on me. I know he knows how I'm feeling at the moment and I know that I can't hide it. I can't hide anything anymore, at least not from him.

I clutch the clutch that I was supposed to give to Claire.
I walked all the way to the car and I saw them with their hands and tongues all over each other. I was going to interrupt but Matt came to me and walked me back to the car. We got in and now we're driving to some stupid hotel for this fancy gala. I didn't mention the gun, but he already knows. I have never been to a gala so this is going to be a great experience. I'm happy I'm doing this with Matt. I'm happy I have Matt. Even if he is playing me, at least I have the opportunity to feel like this and be happy.

"You're not okay," he says abruptly, "Klaus, stop the car."

Slowly the car comes to a stop. I frown and look at him. All I feel are his hands brushing my cheeks and the smell of despair. I'm crying. I hadn't even noticed, but he did. Not even a second passes and I'm already in his arms with him embracing me closely. The way he's holding me against him stops my heart. I start up again with the ragged breathing and I feel more tears spew out of my eyes. I see them fall on his shoulder and I try to pull back, but he doesn't allow me to. I'm an idiot for thinking he would. No doubt, his tux is incredibly expensive. He seems like those men that don't own anything cheaper than a thousand dollars.

He kisses my forehead and leans back, "I don't want to see you cry ever again. I'm sorry, but please cry alone. It breaks my cold heart to see you cry like this and it's my soul thrown into lime to know that I made those tears fall from your eyes."