The Framing

The disaster

December 25th 2015 12:09pm
I had to think for a minute. What are my cousins names again? I'm pretty sure the smaller one is Jake and the older one is Mike. But what if I'm wrong?

I thought about what my mom said to me last night. About opening up more often, she knows it's been a hard time in my life for me. I just wish Julia was still here, she'd know what to do.

"So uhm, what do you like to do?" I asked them. At least I was trying to start a conversation.

They didn't respond to me, normally I would be offended or something but this time is different. Especially considering that I wish these people weren't in my house. It's going to be a stressful next few hours.

I turned on the little TV we had in this room. The first channel was Nickelodeon, which I hadn't watched in about 10 years. All I know is that the newer shows are terrible, along with Cartoon Network and Disney Channel. At least I grew up with good TV shows.

I sat around and watched over them. I thought I was being a good older cousin, them not wanting to talk to me wasn't my problem, or my fault. I felt like a babysitter, which I am. Our old neighbors had kids who were 5 and 7 and I watched them every other Saturday. I'm CPR certified and everything.

One of the Christmas episodes of "SpongeBob" was on now. One from my childhood. The one where SpongeBob went around and told everyone about Santa, who then never came. And the people of Bikini Bottom got presents from Squidward's house instead. Quality episode to be honest.

When it was over, it was around 1 in the afternoon. Jeremy was still busy with whatever he was doing because he didn't respond to my text. I hope he's fine, he knows how to handle things pretty well. Or at least I hope so.

For the next few hours, I sat around. I didn't know when dinner was supposed to be ready, but I hope it's soon. I haven't eaten breakfast or lunch today, and I'm starving.

I looked at my phone, I said "Are you still busy..?" To Jeremy now two hours ago. He still hadn't responded, or even read the text. Nothing had happened on his Instagram or Twitter. Did the child die or something? Who's he celebrating Christmas with?

I let my worries get the best of me, I asked my mom to be excused and stepped out to the back porch where I called his number. Which went to voicemail, but not right away. But it didn't ring the full amount either, which only means one thing. He declined my phone call on purpose.

I sent him a text because he's worrying me. "I know you're reading these, pick up your phone Jeremy."

After about 30 seconds, it said "Read 4:12pm" but no response. Now he's toying with me.

I looked at the corner, waiting for the three dots to show up. The ones that mean he's typing.

Come on Jeremy just answer your phone I thought. It can't be that hard.

And then I saw those three dots. And it felt like a weight was lifted off of my shoulder. I anxiously waited for him to reply, the kind of anxiety you get when you miss a stair going down them. That's what it felt like for me.

"There's nothing wrong, don't worry about me. I'm fine." He said. And instantly I knew he was lying.

"Jeremy I know you're lying, tell me what's going on with you."

I saw those little three dots appear again. But then they disappeared and my anxiety returned. Instead of him replying to me, he FaceTimed me instead, which I really did not expect.

I answered the phone and saw him alone on his bed without a shirt on. "See I'm fine." He sniffed.

I still didn't believe him. "Jeremy you know you can tell me anything." I said.

"Okay then I'll tell you," he paused. "Neil broke up with me."

Is it sad that I wasn't shocked? Like at all? Because I saw it coming from a mile away. Of course that isn't what Jeremy wanted to hear.

"Oh I'm sorry, is there anything I ca-"

"No you can't do anything." He interrupted me.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked.

"I guess," he paused again, "Neil said that you were getting in the way of us. And that I had to choose between him or you, I said I couldn't do that. So he said that meant I'm choosing you, and then he left. I sent him a text asking if that meant we were over, and he said yes."

My face turned red. Not because I was cold and outside, but because I felt bad. I never knew I would cause someone's breakup in my life. And I really wasn't prepared to know how bad it felt.

"Jeremy you didn't have to do that. I would understand if you wanted him over me."

He sniffed again and I saw his dog jump up on his bed. We each laughed a little. "But that isn't what I want. I want you both."

I was about to say something but was interrupted by him again. "I guess no one really wants what I do. So then what is the point in living?"

My eyes grew big. I knew the road he was heading on, it was the same one that Jules did. And it wasn't a good one, not a good one at all. "Jeremy?" I nearly yelled feeling pain in my throat. He said goodbye and hung up the phone. The kind of goodbye you say to someone when it's the last time you ever will, and you know it's true because so many people have done it to you. And you know that people will do it to you again, because I'm just someone who gets left behind. My entire life people have said goodbye to me, and have never come back.

I went inside the house, into the kitchen actually. I couldn't exactly comprehend what was going on. My mom was alone and she saw that I was crying.

"Dear, what's the matter?"

"Mom I have to go to Jeremy's house."

"But it's nearly dinner, and Christmas."

"Mom I think that Jeremy is about to kill himself." I said. She whispered something in my ear then.

"Ally, you go. Call 911 and go." She said.

I grabbed my phone and called an ambulance as I sped to his house. I was too concentrated that I couldn't cry. I couldn't feel anything, and I know that if I don't have him, I'll have no one.

I arrived at his house the same time the ambulance did. They broke down the door and we all went inside. Searching in every room until we found the one he was in.