The Framing

The catastrophe

December 25th 2015 4:30pm
"JEREMY!" I screamed once I saw him in the upstairs bathroom. He was sitting on the edge of the bathtub, the thing you try not to slip on when you get out.

In his hand was a bottle of pills. He was crying, the kind of crying that empty people do. And it's weird, because deep down I knew that he wasn't mad at Neil for what he had done. He just didn't think there was anyone else to hold on to, at that made him sad. Which made me sad.

I ran up to him and embraced him in a hug. The paramedics took him by the hand and helped him up. We got here just in time, the bottle of pills wasn't even open. So he would survive.

I followed them outside. Jeremy's aunt wasn't here which wasn't good. I think she would know what to do more than I do. It wasn't fair to him, that he lives the life he does.

I walked behind him, the EMTs wrapped him in a nice blanket, and asked if he wanted something to drink. I asked if I could ride along in the ambulance with him, the lady said it would be fine, as long as I didn't tell her boss. I thanked her, and she helped me get on.

I had never been in an ambulance before. So I didn't know what I should be doing, one of the nurses stayed back here with us. We made small talk, and she rubbed Jeremy's leg to make him feel better. I texted my mom so that she knew what was going on, she said it was fine, and that she was happy Jeremy is alright.

"Oh honey do you need a wet paper towel?" The nurse asked me. "Your makeup is all smeared."

"Oh thank you, that would be very nice." I said in return. She poured some water from a bottle on a rag and handed it to me, I said thank you and looked at my phone camera to see myself. I truly did look a hot mess.

We arrived at the hospital because I heard the engine stop running. The big doors in the back opened, revealing something I had never seen before in my entire life.

It was snowing.

"Oh my god!" I exclaimed and ran out of the ambulance. "Who would expect to see a white Christmas in Ocala?"

I focused less on the weather and more on Jeremy. We got him safe and sound in a room, and we were left all alone. The first few minutes were awkward, but eventually we began making small talk like we always do.

"How has your Christmas been?" He asked.

"It's been quite boring really. I've just been sitting around all day and watching TV."

He smiled. "I want to get my mind off of things." He said.

"How do you suppose we do that?" I asked.

"Let's tell stories from our childhoods." He suggested.

"I can't think of one, you go first." I said.

"Okay, well when I was a kid, I would look up at the night sky a lot. I dreamt of what it would be like to be an astronaut or something. I thought that there was a black dome surrounding Earth, and each star was a hole. A hole to heaven, and when you died, the whole sky would crack open and fall. And then you'd be in heaven. I never liked to believe that hell exists. I can't think of anything, where eternal damnation is a reasonable punishment. I just thought about heaven, it was so bright the way I dreamt of it. The brightest thing you could ever imagine, but it didn't hurt to look at. Because then you would know that everything is going to be okay."

I felt warm after he said that. "When I was a kid I used to go around the neighborhood and pretend to solve crimes with Julia. We had this whole game figured out, we even had code cop names and walkie talkies. There was so much innocence in being a kid for me. I don't think it's like that anymore."

He laughed and took my hand. "Ally will I always have you?" He asked.

"Jeremy, there won't be a day in our lives that I won't be there for you. Even at 3 am, or in 20 years. I'm never going to leave you, because I can't. I've realized that I love you, I love being with you. Every time I see you in the hallway, my day is made. It's never going to stop, and I know you don't feel the same way. And that's fine, I can learn to move on."

"You know Ally, remember that story I told you about my 8th grade girlfriend?" He asked.

"Of course I remember."

"Well I was only 13 when she died. And, we never even kissed. Not once, we held hands and hugged. But I never kissed her, we were only kids. I didn't think it would be appropriate."

"Jeremy where are you going with this?" I asked.

"Ally, I have never kissed a girl."

"Okay Jeremy I would expect that from a gay guy."

He laughed, "My first kiss was with Neil actually. We were freshman, and we were at a party. It was the first time we had been high. We were alone at one point, and we let it happen. When we sobered up, we knew we had feelings for each other. And it wasn't going to go away."

I smiled at him. "That's such a romantic story." I said.

"So what about you, how was your first kiss?" He asked.

I felt my heart drop to the bottom of my chest. Not because I've never kissed anyone, but because of my real first kiss. What actually happened, not even Jules knows. "Go ahead Ally, you can tell me." He said. And I knew I could. So I did, I trust him.

"I was 8 when I had my first kiss. The guy's name was Larry, and he used to come over a lot. He was a close family friend." Was all I could say without my heart jumping out of my chest.

"Was he like your elementary school boyfriend?" He giggled.

"He was 47, and worked with my dad."

And then the room was quiet. The bad type of quiet, the kind that haunted me as a kid. The kind that used to make me cry at night, in fear that Larry was going to come over the next day. It was that kind of quiet, until he spoke up again.

"Did he ever get arrested?"

"Eventually. Many years later, I learned that what he did was wrong. And I immediately told my dad, he said he would take care of it from there. And I never saw Larry again."

And then it was quiet again. Only now, it was the good kind of quiet.