I Want To Be Free

25. An Unusual Train Ride

CHAPTER | TWENTY-FIVE

I chewed on my bottom lip, my knee bouncing up and down as Max waited for a respond. I stared at his shoes, hoping it would magically show me the answers to life, but to no luck. I sat on the edge of the bath tub with Max leaning on the door across from me.

"So...?"

I sighed, running a hand through my hair. "I... don't know." I lied. I already knew what the answer was. I stayed up all night thinking about it. The problem was how was I going to convince Max that this was a smart idea?

Max threw his head back, nearly hitting his head on the door. "I know this is going to sound harsh but, kid, we are running out of time here. Dain is expecting an answer by the end of the day, and I know this is hard for you to decide, but what choice do we have left?"

I slapped my hands down on the knees, feeling frustrated. "I just don't know, Max! What do you want me to do, huh? Leave you here while the others and I hide behind walls and-and watch you get killed by our own father?! You want me to leave you here to die?! I don't want to do that! I've already lost people, Max. I don't want to lose you, too."

Max's eyes softened and he uncrossed his arms. He crunched down in front of me, grabbing my hands. Our palms were pressed together. He intertwined his fingers with mine, his thumb gently rubbing my hand.

He looked down at our hands, a small smile on his lips. "Do you remember when mom would say that I had to look out for you whenever we went outside to play?" He softly asked.

I titled my head to side, confused where this was going, but nodded anyway.

"When mom died, I didn't know what to feel. I didn't go to her funereal to say goodbye. The last words I said to her was 'So long, mom. I'll see you later.' She just smiled and waved me goodbye, not knowing what my hidden meaning to it was."

"Max..." I trailed off, not knowing what to say.

"Kelly, I came back because I was being selfish," He looked straight into my eyes, "I came back because I needed to protect you. Mom said that I had to look out for you, and look what happened. I left and you were left to deal with a monster. I know this offer is probably not the smartest ideas out there, but—"

"Max."

"—I want you and Danny to be somewhere safe, Kelly. We could fix this together. Let me deal with the monster this time. You've already dealt with him. Let me do something about it. Let me help you, pl—"

"Max!"

"What?"

"We'll go with Dain's plan."

He blinked, his face looking shock for a second. "What...?"

I gave his hands a light squeeze. "We'll go with Dain's plan," I repeated louder, "But I'm going to stay here with you and Jasper." I added.

Max glared at me. "Kelly, didn't you hear what I just said? I don't want you to—"

"Max, this is my fight, not yours. I had to live with father's abuse for years. I have to live with the guilt of the murders I committed, and the only way be free from the nightmares is to defeat him in his own game; whether it be if you end him or Dain or whoever else wants father buried six feet under, I want to be there."

Max didn't say anything. All he did was glare at me for being stubborn. So what if I was being stubborn? Max could try to push me away all he wanted but I wanted to watch my father fall. I wanted to watch him fall on his knees, begging for his life like he made people do before he cut open their throats. I was sick of him. The more I thought about him, the more I couldn't understand why I was defending him in the first place. What did he ever do for me? Nothing. He did nothing for me.