You're jumping into this too quickly.
You'll be fine- Lacy will be fine- Just calm down!
You don't know what you're doing. Last time you decided to run you ended up on the streets.
You'll regret this the minute you can't turn back.
I pace my room. I rip out my braid in frustration and then stop walking. Panting and crying, I tuck my hair behind my ears.
Don't do it- at least not now and not for these reasons.
My conscience and logic try to reason with me, but I've made up my mind and I'm not changing it. I can't handle any more heartbreak. I can't. I just. Can't.
I hear the door squeak open behind me. I whip around to see Bridget standing there. "Gen?" There's so much concern in her voice. For some reason it pushes a button somewhere in me and the thought of what I've decided I have to do to keep my sanity hurts. The tears start falling faster. I play with my hair nervously and silently curse my overly-emotional personality.
You're just sensitive. Sit down and actually think about what you've decided.
I have thought about it!
I bury my head in my hands. I'm at war with myself. It's such a foreign feeling and that's what scares me.
Bridget rubs her temples. Then she walks over and puts her hands on my shoulders. "Gen," she starts offering me a smile. "Gen, didn't you hear them? She's going to be ok! Everything's fine she's just-"
"How do we know that?" I demand throwing my arms down to my sides and causing Bridget to jump a little.
"I... I guess I... don't, Gen but... You're the one who told me we can't give up on her so easy," she stammers.
I shake my head. "I... I'm not the strong girl you think I am," I confess.
"Who said anything about being strong? No one can be strong in a situation like this alone, Gen that's why we have each other. Gen, the only reason Lacy's alive right now is because of you," she reminds me shaking my shoulders.
"And now I'm helpless," I whimper.
That silences Bridget for some reason. She looks at the floor and takes her hands off my shoulders. "Do you need to talk to me about anything?" she asks hesitantly.
I cross my arms and bite my lip. "I know I said I would Bridge, but the wounds are fresh again, I... I'd barely be able to even get through it without blubbering and stuff..."
"Gen!" Bridget pushes, wearing one of those smiles you plaster on when you're frustrated.
"No!" I insist. Then, I quietly ask, "Where's Stacy?"
Her head jerks up again. "Whatdoya want Mom for?" Her eyes are skeptical.
I groan. "Do you need to know, Bridge?"
"Um, if it wasn't a big deal why would you hide it and if it is- Well, WHY WOULD YOU HIDE IT?" she shoots back.
I'm already emotionally charged and this is not helping. "Reasons! Ok???" I yell back.
"Why do you trust Mom more than me?" she challenges.
I scoff. "This has nothing to do with who I 'trust mo-'"
"Then what's your secret??" she demands.
"Do you REALLY want to know???" I shout subconsciously backing up.
"YES!" she pushes.
"Well here it is! I'm-"
"HEY!" Michelle bursts into the room. "Cut it out. You two fighting helps nothing."
"Says you," mumbles Bridget.
Michelle sucks in an angry breath. It's like it's all she can do to keep from slapping Bridget. Bridget sticks out her tongue at Michelle.
Michelle rolls her eyes and takes in another deep breath. "Just cut it out," she mutters. "What's the big deal with you two anyway?"
"She's up to something," Bridget says, jerking a thumb and her head in my direction.
I glare at her and fold my arms again.
"What are you talking about?" Michelle scoffs. "Gen's the most innocent human being on the planet she wouldn't try any funny business."
It's Bridget's turn to roll her eyes.
My gaze falls to my shoes. The silence stretches thinner and thinner until it feels like play doh that's been stretched too far and is about to snap.
"Whatever," Michelle grumbles. "If you don't want to give me answers, I guess I'll just go down el stairos a-"
"I'm going with Aunt Cassie," I grunt.
Michelle and Bridget's heads snap my way simultaneously.
"You're what?" Michelle demands, dumbfounded.
"You heard me," I mutter.
Bridget's anger is quickly replaced with guilt. "Gen, was it something I said or-"
"No! I want to be with my Aunt and cousins is that a problem?"
That's not the total truth... And Michelle can tell.
"You hated your Aunt just the other day."
"Don't assume things," I grunt, heading to the door. I shove my way past Michelle and walk towards the stairs with a mumbled, "I'm going to talk to Stacy."
I can feel their stares bore into the back of my head as I stomp down the stairs and the tears resume their parade down my face.
