Beautiful Curse-OHSHC fanfic

Just a Nightmare

  I lower myself onto the couch seated in a far corner in the Host Club, the noise sounding like miles away. I toss off my shoes and let them clatter to the ground below, tucking my knees and curling in on myself. A small yawn stretches across my face as my hands curl close to my cheeks. Tiredness washes over me and I allow the darkness to wrap around my conscious...

Soft droplets of water splashed across my cheeks and all around me. It was raining. I hold my hands out, confused. The water hits my skin, the sensation cold with iciness. It was dark around me, only the soft yellow glow from the street lamp an aid of light. The confusion I felt turns into panic; the emotion curling inside my stomach and creating a knot of anxiety.

My breathing begins to quicken, becoming shallower and faster. I knew where I was and I did not want to be here. I hug myself, seeking both warmth and comfort, but neither came. I was drenched and I knew only more horror was about to happen. As it always does.

A whimper escapes me as the world around me begins to mold into a scene- a scene from my past and the source of my pain and scars. Grass sprouts around me feet and covers the area around me, trees burst from the ground and creat shadows against the moonlight. The street lamp was gone. I was surrounded solely by the moonlight. A park bench pops into view, it's brown paint weather worn and ugly.

The panic increases.

I watch as a little girl, hair the color of moonlight with eyes the color of translucent silver, be led down the street- straight toward me- by a woman with beautiful raven hair and dark golden eyes, but the duo stops at the park bench.

The panic begins to eat away at me.

I knew what was about to happen. I'd seen it for the past couple years ever since it had happened: the moment I knew what it meant to be stabbed in the back and abandoned, left to die.

I watch as the younger me smiles innocently up at the woman, ever so trusting. She was supposed to be the woman who held my hand through life and watch me grow up to become a young woman. She was supposed to gossip with me about boys and about love. But, none of this would happen.

No. She would be the woman I would hate with my entire being and soul. She would be the reason I was able to tell if people were lying. She would be the woman who forever broke apart my family and created the people of the Saya family you saw today.

This demonic woman was my mother.

My lip curls in disgust whole my body betrays me and trembles uncontrollably. I watch as the little girl reaches for her mother's hand and entwines their fingers together, the smile of adoration still there. The woman did not smile back. Her dark golden eyes hidden in the shadows.

I remembered how I only wanted her to look at me: see me. It was only too late when I realized that my mother had seen me...and what she saw was worth her hatred. Worth her betrayal. That small desire I had held as a child would be the hit that would shatter my life and leave my world in pieces.

I didn't want to be here. Always in this nightmare I would only be a spectator. I couldn't lift a finger; couldn't change anything. I was reliving hell all over again.

The panic rises, swirling through my mind, wild and taunting.

"Please..." My voice croaks. "Don't let me watch this....please...I don't want to see this!"

My pleas were a waste of air. The nightmare continued on.

I saw the woman's lips finally  tilt up into a smile, but unlike when I was little I knew this smile was not one of love. Tears swell inside my eyes as I see my younger self giggle with happiness at the sight of my mother's smile.