Return of the Mockingjay

Chapter 39

We just managed to make it inside the nearest building before the poison started. I collapse to the floor and immediately recognise the shininess of my vision, I remember when Peeta said the same thing when he was hijacked. For the second time in my life I'm poisoned by tracker jacker venom but this time it's from the brambles, the thorns must of been laced with it. I suddenly find myself back at home in 12, Peeta stands at the stove while Rue plays at his feet. Every now and again she claws at his legs and pulls herself up so she's standing. Peeta reaches down and picks her up before she falls then rests her on his hip. Peeta looks sad, he's been crying, I can see that by the puffiness of his eyes.

"Don't worry Princess, Daddy's gonna take care of you" he says.

"Momma?" says Rue quietly

"Momma's gone baby, she's never gonna come back to us. it's just you and me now" he struggles to say through the tears.

I step toward them "I'm just here Peeta, I'm right here" I say slightly annoyed that he can't even see me. But he ignores my presence, for some reason he can't even see or feel me. I try to yell and scream at him but nothing comes out, no matter how hard I try there's nothing.
I take a step back in shock but fall down a large hole that's appeared in the kitchen floor. I tumble through space, passing shiny images from my past, an arrow flies and kills Cato, an explosion that envelopes Prim, Finnick screaming my name whilst being torn to pieces by a pack of crazed lizard mutts. I land on something soft, grass. I get to my feet to find myself next to Prim's grave back at the meadow, I try to make sense of where or what I am but the images still have that shiny tinge to them. I sink to my knees and look at Prim's simple wooden headstone which marks her grave. It was something Peeta and I found in the forest. Not long after the war we used to wander round the woods aimlessly looking at stuff, at the time we didn't have much else to do so it used to pass the time by and it seemed to help our grief, me for the loss of Prim and Peeta for the loss of his family. Then one morning we came across a fallen tree which had come down in a recent storm. I don't know why but I saw it as a gift of some sort. I told Peeta what I wanted to do and he thought it was a great idea.
The next day we both returned to the forest and Peeta cut a thin section of the trunk away using a saw he borrowed from the log cutters shop. Peeta carried the piece of wood home and got to work carving the wooden disk into an oblong slab. Then over the coming days and weeks he used his talents as an artist and painted a picture of a primrose plant on the top half then carved a short inscription below it. It was a warm spring day when the finished wooden grave marker was ready and we both carried it to the grave. I felt happy and contented knowing that Prim's resting place was marked for all to see, the young girl who lost her life trying to save and help others.
But why am I here, I'm in the arena? Why has my tracker jacker episode brought me here?

"She's safe" I hear a familiar voice say from behind me. I flinch at the voice, the sound of someone from my past, someone who I could trust with my life, who was always there for me until that day when he was taken from us, from me. I turn my head and see him, still dressed in his leather hunting jacket, a bow loosely slung over his shoulder, coal dust still clinging to his finger nails.

"Dad?" I say shakily.

"Hello my girl"

"Dad what's happening, why are you here, you died, I'm in the arena, none of this makes any sense"

He comes to my side and crouches down next to me all the time looking at Prim's grave. I want to reach out and wrap my arms around him, to feel him hold me and make me feel safe, just like a father should but for some reason I'm afraid of what might happen if I do.

"Some things never make sense Katniss, our lives are there to be cherished and enjoyed. It's a gift Katniss...... life. Only when its snatched away do you realise what it's all about, about how you need to live each and every day as if it's your last. You can never be sure what's gonna happen"