A Little More Difficult (Hybrid!Louis, Gifted!Harry, AU Larry Stylinson! *COMP*)

Chapter Twenty Three. (23.)

"Are you sure you're okay?" Niall asked for the tenth time in the last hour. Him and Zayn had just got home from their date, and to say they both looked more than satisfied, was an understatement. God only knows what they did, and god also knows I never want to know. Zayn stood by him, a hand around his waist, in a stance that was as if he was ready to aid me if needed. 

As much as I appreciated the fact that every one would be there for me, I didn't necessarily like it. I didn't like being crowded, and I didn't like the fact that every one was looking at me as if I was a China doll. It made me feel weak; it made me feel as if I was breakable and as if I would crumble at any of their arms at the snap of a finger. Not even Harry would put his arm around me, most likely afraid of the thought of it being too heavy for me. 

 "I get that you all are worried, but stop treating me like a china doll!" I exclaimed, throwing my hand up in the air.

I had been at Zayn's house for three days, Zayn, Niall and Harry all refusing to let me leave. They were all incredibly careful and cautious, which I appreciated silently, but the silence they were giving me wasn't appreciated at all. The fact that Harry wouldn't do anything of a sort of intimacy with me, not even a peck, angered and aggravated me.

"We're n-" I cut Niall off with a sharp tone.

"Yes you are! You are all! It fucking ticks me off! I'm not 2, guys! I know you all care, but bloody hell, there's a limit. You're all crossing it." I swore, jumping up and putting emphases by talking with my hands.

The first few days were fine, but all of a sudden, they all backed off and they all decided that no hand contact would be made. It not only pissed me off, but it bothers me. It makes me feel like they don’t love me anymore, like I’m losing Harry and Losing Niall and Zayn. Although Zayn and Niall were barely friends, they both have saved my life, they both are more than that to me, and to feel as if I’m losing them is the thing that’ll keep me up at night.

“How are we crossing it just by caring, Louis? It’s not my fault I’m cautious, you just don’t know what it’s like! You don’t know what it’s like to stay up every night and wonder if when you wake up, something may happen and by the time you wake up, the one you love will be gone again. It hurts, it scares me, and it makes me feel like shit knowing that you died, literally for me. I know you came back, but the rules apply!”

“So now you’re saying that I don’t understand? Tell me, Harry, what don’t I understand? What don’t I understand!?” I repeated every word twice, my fists balling up slowly by my sides.

“You don’t understand how much I love you!” He deadpanned.

“How could I not understand that?! You prove it all of the time, Harry! You prove it all of the time. You’re an amazing person, an amazing boyfriend and an amazing best friend and with out you I don’t know where I’d be. Why are you pushing me away and making me feel weak, and making me feel as if I’m not anything compared to you? I know that I’m not, but you don’t have to ignore me, not kiss me or hug me and push me away just because you feel as if you’ll break me! I’m a big boy, Harry, I can take care of myself, I get it and I understand but to have you push me away like that? Do you even want me anymore?” Anger was radiating through my body, my veins no doubt bulging out. I knew as well as Harry did though, that it wasn’t anger that was fueling my words. It was emotion, and an emotion was all that it was. It was sadness, it was fear of rejection, it was depression, and it was the little voice in my head telling me that he’d leave me. That little voice over powered everything good that I had to say about the structure of our relationship.