Designing Your Character & Other Handy Things

Romantic Conflicts

THEY HAVE CHARACTER FLAWS... Honestly, every real-life romance deals with this, and it should probably come up in any story about a relationship. Maybe he's too selfish or lazy. Maybe she's too rash, or too fearful. Maybe one of them is too negative, and needs to stop being so cynical. This could lead to one of them making a big, stupid mistake, and needing to make amends and get the other person's forgiveness.

She's already ruled him out... she made up her mind a long time ago that she would only marry a man with a title, or she would never date a biker again.

They are competitors... for the same job, the same championship, etc.

They are straight-up enemies... He wants to buy the land to build a resort, and she wants it to get turned into a nature sanctuary. He's the defense attorney, and she's the prosecutor. They're soldiers on opposing sides of the war... the possibilities are endless here!

He already won... he inherited an estate that should have been hers, or he got the job that she was hoping to be promoted into, and she's seething.

He broke her heart in the past. Maybe there was a good reason behind it, or maybe he was an idiot then and realizes it now. It's possible he just ignored her.

She did her wrong in the past... or maybe she wronged her family member or friend. (Or did she? That family member or friend might have lied.)

He did something wrong in the past, period. Although she wasn't the victim, it was pretty bad. How can she be sure he's changed?

She has trust issues... her last relationship ended in a terrible betrayal.

He has intimacy issues... maybe because of a traumatic past, he feels too vulnerable if anyone knows about his real emotions or weaknesses. Maybe she's a psychic, a behavioral expert, or just the one person who can see right through him... and it makes him uncomfortable as hell.

She doesn't trust her dating choices... she's gotten involved with several losers in a row, and she's taking a break–maybe a permanent one.

She believes no one can truly love her... because she made a terrible mistake in the past, or she's not attractive in the conventional manner, or she's a "fallen woman" in a repressive era, or whatever.

They are good friends... and they don't want to risk ruining their friendship by taking it to the next level.

They are co-workers... and they don't want to make things weird at the office, bar, or wherever they both work.

She's freaked out by who he really is... a werewolf, ex-con, or whatever.

He has a secret... he's in a witness protection program, he's a hacktivist, his father is literally the Devil, or something of that sort. (When she finds out, the conflict may turn into the one above. Or maybe she'll surprise him and be like, "You're a hacker? Dude, that is so hot.")

It was supposed to be sex only... they were going to be friends with benefits, or maybe he's a male escort. Falling in love goes against the original arrangement.

Their love was supposed to be fake... they were pretending to be in love or married, or they entered a marriage of convenience. It can't be real, can it? On a related note...

He was faking it at first... he made a bet that he could bed her, or pretended to like her so he could learn her secrets and be the journalist who broke the story.

She was stuck with him... he's a partner on a job when she wanted to do it by herself, or he rescued her when she was actually pretty happy where she was. She doesn't want to admit she's actually falling for him.