Not So Hidden Desire

Just Hold On

A/N This is the revised chapter 5. Let me know what you think and vote if you like it :)

Owen

It has been a week since the accident and Katie still has not awakened yet. The leaves have begun turning to shades of red, brown, and orange. A sign that means the end of summer is fast approaching. Fall is Katie’s favorite season of the year.

 I have left this room only to get more coffee and the occasional bite to eat. I’m afraid to leave her in case she wakes up and doesn’t understand where she is. I want her to see a familiar face and not a bunch of unknown strangers. I just want to see her open those beautiful green eyes and smile at me again.

“Katie, you need to fight and come back to me. I can’t live without you any longer,” I whisper in her ear as I hold her cold, fragile hand.

Abby has been by to see her a couple times. We are still unable to get a hold of her parents. They are currently on a cruise ship in the Atlantic Ocean somewhere. They probably don’t even care anyways.

The school calls daily to get updates on her condition, but I have nothing new to report to them. Her room is filled with dozens of vases of fresh cut flowers; the scent can be overwhelming at times.

The hospital told me to take some time off and to come back when I am ready. For now, my place is by Katie’s side, until she is well enough to give me hell again. I’m so exhausted. I grab Katie’s hand and lean my forehead on the side of her bed, closing my eyes.

I imagine that Katie and I are on vacation in Europe. We always used to talk about trekking there someday. We had joked about racing each other to the Eiffel tower. The first one to get there would then decide the next country that we would visit. We also talked about riding horses across the U.S., from one coast to the other. I wish I could have told her back then how much she truly meant to me.

“Beep, beep, beep,” The monitors begin to wail and startle me from my nap. The ICU doctors and nurses arrive, barging through the door. Katie’s body tenses as she begins to seize.

“Katie, hang on!” I yell as I am being pushed from her room. I take a step back in the hall as a nurse darts towards her room. My back hits the cold wall, and I slide to the floor with my head in my hands, tears streaming down my face. Please God, let her keep fighting; don’t take her away from me, just when I am finally getting her back. I promise I will take care of her for the rest of the time I have with her. I love her more than words can say.

I look up to see the nurses push her bed down the hall in a rush.

“Where are they taking her? Is she ok now?” I quickly stand up, shaking.

“She is stable for now, but they are taking her down to imaging to get a CT scan done to find out the cause of the seizure. She may have a bleed and need surgery Owen,” she explains in a concerned voice. “Just stay here and I will go check on her. I’ll let you know what I find out,” the nurse turns and heads down the hall to where Katie disappeared.

“Thank you,” I whisper at her back as I turn and walk back to her room.

It feels like hours before the nurse comes back to tell me they had to rush her into surgery again and that her brain is bleeding from the trauma. I take off in a sprint down the hall and up the two flights of stairs to the OR waiting room, just to pace the floor. At least I am closer to her here, although it still seems we are worlds apart. She is barely clinging to her life.

An hour later, the nurse comes out, “She is out of surgery and in recovery right now. The surgeon was able to stop the bleeding. We still don’t know when she will wake up, or if she ever will wake up. They will be taking her back to her room shortly. You can go wait for her there.”

“Thank you,” I nod, and then head back down the stairs, relieved she is out of surgery but still torn apart that she may never come back to me. I walk down to the gift shop to try and keep my mind off of the situation for a moment. I walk into the shop and grab some snacks and coffee, then head back up to her room.

When I enter her room she is lying peacefully in her bed, except for the respirator tubes still hanging out of her mouth. I watch her chest rise and fall to assure myself that she is still here. Then I take her small, cold hand in mine and take my place by her side. I lay my head on her bed and close my eyes for a second.

I walk down a long, dark hall unsure of where this road would lead me. At the end of the hall two doors stand before me. The red door appears to be weathered with peeling paint. The other door is in pristine condition, in a beautiful shade of blue. Any ordinary person would go straight for the blue door because of the condition it is in.

I stand intrigued by the weathered red door and what lies behind it. I take a step closer to the door then reach out my right hand and grasp the cold knob in my palm. I take a breath and slowly turn the knob…the door will not open.

I stand there puzzled as words begin to appear on the door before me.

You will not find what you seek here.

Do not give up, my son.

Your journey may be long and winding.

 But, what you find at the end will give you the peace you seek.

What is this supposed to mean? Still puzzled by the words before me, I turn and walk towards the blue door. I reach for the knob…

I am awakened when I feel someone touch my hair. I turn around to look at who else is in the room, but no one is there. I turn my head back to Katie to see the most gorgeous set of green eyes smiling back at me.

 “Katie, am I still dreaming or are you really awake?” I ask.

She responds by gently by squeezing my hand. I gently kiss her hand and run out into the hall. I look at her nurse and smile as I tell her “She’s awake!”

The doctor comes into the room and proceeds to take her off the ventilator. It feels like a thousand pounds has been lifted off my shoulders, by the sight of her breathing on her own. She looks like an angel, my angel.

“Don’t try to talk, Hun. The tube that was down your throat probably caused some swelling. It may be a couple days before you can talk again,” the nurse explains to Katie as she continues checking Katie’s blood pressure.

“Katie, I have missed you so much. I thought I was never going to see those beautiful eyes again.” I walk closer to her bed.

 She motions for me to come closer and lay next to her. I climb into the bed with her and wrap my arms around her, careful not to hurt her. She lays her head on my chest and at that moment I feel like I am in heaven. I have the woman of my dreams in my arms, and now all I need to do is tell her how I feel. But, right now I just want to sleep and never move from this spot.

As I lay there with her in my arms, I wonder what was meant by that strange dream.