Tourist Trap

Chapter 4

No sooner had they set foot outside the jail than Sarah spotted a large sign down the street that read "Clothing Store." They made their way towards the entrance but when Zeke reached for the door it disappeared and was replaced by a brick wall. "What the-?" he blurted in astonishment. 

A few seconds later another door materialized several feet from where the first one had been. He reached for it, but it too disappeared. "How come everything's gotta be so fucking crazy around this place?" he grumbled. 

"Let me try," Sarah said, as another door appeared a few feet from where the previous one had been. It seemed her luck was no better as it vanished a few tantalizing milliseconds before she could grasp it.  

"All right," Zeke said as he cracked his knuckles. "I'm going to beat this thing, damn it!" Another door popped up right in front of him and he lunged at it. This time he caught firmly ahold of the doorknob. "Aha!" he shouted and twisted it. Rather than swinging aside, however, it fell forward on top of him, pinning him to the ground. But on the plus side it revealed an entrance to the store in the process. 

"Are you all right?" Sarah winced. 

He didn't answer, but closed his eyes and considered the situation for a moment. "Okay," he said with labored breath. "Listen carefully. I need you to help me get out from under this door, but don't let it close under any circumstances."  

"No problem." She started to pull the door upwards. It was heavy at first, but soon it seemed to want to slam back into its closed position. She wedged her foot firmly into the doorway and pulled Zeke to his feet. "Well, shall we enter?" 

"Sure," Zeke replied brushing the dirt off his shirt. 

They walked into the store and were somewhat surprised to see a large assortment of boxes and strange devices stacked all over the place, none of which were identifiable in their own right, but were certainly not clothing. 

Zeke picked up an item that appeared to be a golf ball connected to a can of beans by some sort of elastic paper clip. He examined it carefully but couldn't even begin to fathom the purpose of it. 

"Don't touch that!" a voice called out. Zeke dropped it on the floor and looked around nervously.  

Suddenly a large, somewhat feline-looking creature jumped out from behind a box. It had a long flowing mullet, which it groomed frequently. "Sorry about that. I didn't mean to startle you. It's just you never know when one of those things is going to go off." 

"I see," Zeke said, tapping his front teeth lightly with his finger. 

"Feel free to look around, but I wouldn't touch anything if I were you. Some strange things have been known to happen." 

"Excuse me," Sarah interrupted. "Where are your clothes at?" 

The creature scratched its head quizzically. "Why, I'm wearing them aren't I? Yep. It looks like I am. Good heavens, I'd hate to be walking around naked and not even know it. But then, I suppose that's always a possibility." 

"No, I mean where do you keep the clothes that you're selling?" 

"What? I'm not selling any clothes. At least not that I'm aware of anyway." 

"But your sign says you're a clothing store." 

"It does? Fascinating. Very unpredictable, that sign. You never know what it's going to say from one moment to the next." 

"What exactly is going on here anyway?" Zeke asked. 

"Good question. Who knows? Oh, but I suppose you were under the impression that this was a clothing store. Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Ernie. Ernie Heisenberg. And this is Heisenberg's Uncertainty Shoppe."