Tourist Trap

Chapter 32

"Hey wake up, Zeke!" 

"Huh?" Zeke opened his eyes blearily and blinked. "What's going on?" He appeared to be laying on his back in an alleyway. "Am I back in the game?" 

"What game?"  

"Uh, I don't know," Zeke strained his brain chasing after a fleeting memory. "Where the hell am I anyway? And for that matter who are you?" 

"It's me, Max! Jeez, she worked you over good, didn't she?" 

"Who worked me over?" Zeke mumbled. 

"That stripper!" Max said. "She drugged you. Remember that love potion she gave you? She was hoping to sedate you long enough to get you back to her place and have her way with you, but apparently you freaked out and ran away. You're lucky I found you." 

"Wait, the stripper drugged me?" Zeke's head felt like it was clearing up a little bit. 

"Yeah," Max said. "She admitted as much when she came back inside. Fortunately for you I wasn't otherwise occupied. That lovely blonde I was with stormed off when she found out I didn't have any extra floss to tip her with. Word must have spread, because none of the other strippers approached me after that. So I decided to come looking for you and thanks to my superior detective skills I found you. Of course, now I have no idea where the hell we are, but that's beside the point really."  

Zeke sat up and rubbed his eyes. "Gee, thanks for coming after me, Max." 

"Eh, I wasn't going to get any action in that place anyway, so I figured I may as well. And look, I managed to swipe a case of brew before I left. You want one?" 

"Sure," Zeke said as he accepted the bottle that was offered to him. "Hey, this tastes like beer! How come nobody told me about this earlier?" 

"Oh, it's much better than beer, Zeke," Max said as he cracked one open himself. "Now, let's go see if we can figure out where the hell we are. I think the strip club was back this way... or was it the other way?" 

They wandered out into the street and Max looked around in a bewildered fashion. "Pardon me, sir," Max stopped a passing beaver. "Can you tell me where we are?" 

"Get away from me, wino!" the beaver said scornfully and continued on its way. 

"Hey! I'll have you know I'm a respected law enforcement agent!" Max called after it. "Well that was rude. But who needs that guy anyway? If we wander around long enough we're bound to find a Roto-Bus stop." 

"For some reason I feel like I don't really want to ride the Roto-Bus anymore," Zeke said. 

"What, are you turning into Sarah or something?" Max asked. "What's the big deal anyway?" 

"I don't know. I just have this weird feeling about them. Speaking of Sarah, that reminds me, weren't we going to go look for her earlier today?" 

"Oh yeah, I guess we forgot," Max rubbed his chin. "That woman owes me floss, too. Don't worry we'll track her down. First we need to figure out where the hell we are before we can worry about her location." He took a big swig off his brew and belched loudly. 

"I know," Zeke said. "I'm just kind of worried about her is all." 

Max sighed. "Oh no. I recognize that look. Don't tell me you're in love with her." He made a gagging noise and rolled his eyes. 

"Well, um, I mean, not love exactly, but you know..." Zeke stared at the ground sheepishly. 

"Hey, it's cool, man. We all get stupid over broads sometimes. I didn't realize you had feelings for her. This whole time I figured you just wanted a quick roll in the hay with her like I do. Well, since you're a friend and all, don't worry. I'll back off. So, have you ever said anything to her about this?"