Tourist Trap

Chapter 11

Zeke opened his eyes and blinked several times. Slightly disoriented, he lifted his hand up to rub his eyes. A second later he was astonished to realize he actually had a hand to raise to his face. "What happened?" he asked aloud. 

"Welcome back to the waking world, buddy." He looked up and saw Max and Gustavus standing over him smiling.  

He glanced around and realized that all his limbs were indeed attached although he was no longer handcuffed to Max. "Did I just imagine all that?" Zeke asked. 

"No, no it was quite real," Gustavus chuckled. 

"Yeah, sorry about that, Zeke old boy," Max said. "I probably should have warned you in advance. This thing's a body re-interpreter. It's perfectly harmless, see?" He pointed it at himself, removed his left arm and reattached it to his forehead. He wiggled it around back and forth before taking it off and putting it back into its proper place. "I only meant to remove your hand so the cuffs could slide off easily, but I set the beam a little wider than I had intended." 

"I see," Zeke said, still grabbing his arms and legs to confirm they were really attached. "Actually I, uh, knew that the whole time. I was just overcome by all the booze we drank earlier and had to sleep it off for a bit. That's all. I wasn't scared for a moment." 

Max pointed the beam at Zeke again causing his pinky finger to drop off. Zeke let out a high-pitched shriek in spite of himself and then grabbed the device from Max. "Stop doing that, god damn it, or I'll remove your foot and attach it up your ass!" He reattached his finger and then turned to Gustavus. "Put this thing away, will you?"  

"No problem," Gustavus said taking the device. "Did you want to see any more exhibits?" 

"No, I think I've seen enough for now," Zeke muttered. "Besides, we need to go back and get Sarah." 

"I suppose you're right," Max sighed. "Oh well, I can come back another time. Let's be off then." 

They made their way outside and were almost immediately accosted by a small bulldog pulling a rickshaw. "Hey you guys need a ride somewhere?" 

"No thanks," Max replied. "We'll take the Roto-Bus." 

"Aw, come on. I'm cheaper than the Roto-Bus! Where are you going anyway?" 

"Well, if you must know, first we're going to Smelly Pete's Tavern and then we're off to see the prophet Skip." 

"Really? Jeez this Skip's a really popular man today. Of course that jerk Bobby gets to take the pretty girl. What's the big deal with this Skip guy anyway?" 

Max perked up at the mention of a pretty girl visiting Skip. "What did this girl look like?" 

"Ah, I don't know. She was sort of a pink monkey like this guy here," he indicated Zeke. "Long yellow hair, green eyes, nice smile. Seemed kind of feisty. Jeez, why can't I meet a girl like that?" 

"Sounds like Sarah, all right," Zeke said. "Sounds like she may have gotten sick of waiting for us and left to find Skip on her own." 

"All right, we'll just head straight to Skip's then," Max said. 

"To Skip's we go!" the bulldog shouted excitedly. 

"What do you mean we?" Max asked. "Zeke and I are taking the Roto-bus." 

"Aw, come on! You've gotta let me take you! I can't wait to see the look on Bobby's face when I show up at the same destination with two paying customers. Please? I'll give you half price." 

"Maybe we should take him up on it?" Zeke said, ever conscious of saving a floss or two. 

"Well," Max considered. "Make it fifty-one percent off and you've got a deal."