deception and lies - sniper x spy

fourteen

i won't go to my grave until a difference is made.
---
willy shuffled to one of the benches in the respawn room, his stomach spasming nervously. he felt like vomiting, but the vomit refused to come out and sat in his stomach instead.

why was jane acting so...on edge?

he'd asked himself that question so many times, but all the answers he thought of either seemed illogical or out of the question.

willy suddenly tensed up.

when he and lucien bumped into jane, his fists were clenched and although it wasn't obvious, there were tears in the corners of his eyes.

why was he crying?

did someone...die?

he looked around the respawn room and realised someone was missing.

where the hell was dell?

willy started panicking. he paced around the room anxiously and made sure engie wasn't in the room, before charging out like a crazed lunatic.

the first thing he thought of was to look for jane. he must've known something, since he was crying so secretly.

do you know that we almost lost the fight to those stinking metal croutons?

he ran down the corridor to the soldier's room and knocked on it furiously, until he heard a faint sentence through the door.

"go away."

it sounded so weak, so forlorn...so unlike jane himself. it was foreign, like it wasn't even jane anymore.

everyone knew him as a headstrong and brave leader, who anyone could depend on. only, he tended to get too strict sometimes.

"jane, please open up. i know you're in there. is there something you haven't told me and lucien?" willy spoke gently, and heard the sound of something being thrown across the room. glass shattering, even.

"jane." he tried again, hearing sobbing emanating from behind the metal door.

"dell is dead."

willy froze. jane's voice was so sudden, it hit willy like a tidal wave.

"...what?"

"you heard me. dell is dead."

out of nowhere, the door opened with jane standing behind it, with his knuckles wet and blood still dripping from them.

it was different seeing jane without his helmet. willy could see his blue eyes and blond hair, except that they were broken, like the glass on the soldier's floor.

broken like jane's heart and soul.

"what--how?!" willy spluttered, the sounds in his throat coming out as choked words.

"he died trying to rescue us." jane was no longer crying, but he was sitting on the bed like a lone wolf without its pack. "upon seeing a sentry buster about to explode, he pushed it away from us and sacrificed himself. i waited for him all day by the respawn room, but there was no sign of him and his yellow helmet. i realised his respawn had failed, because apparently his death didn't register. i told the whole team and grief swept over them. but the thing is, before the battle started, he told me everything would be fine and then we could settle our relationship properly."

willy sat in silence, trying to fathom all the information thrown at him. even though he didn't know dell well, he knew he was a cheerful and loyal companion to anyone, and could put a smile on any depressed bum.

and in a flash, his friend and ally were gone.

willy didn't feel like crying. what was the point? when you lost someone who was dear to you and yet you didn't feel anything...did that make you heartless?

"i'm sorry for screaming at you, but i couldn't take the fact that the person i loved most died in just a split second."
again, tears were streaming down his face like tiny lakes.

what was willy supposed to do?

he had never seen jane so depressed. normally, he'd see him smiling when talking to dell, or determination shoved into his features during battle.
now, that determination was gone.

"let's get you patched up." willy pushed open the door and waited for jane to stand up, before placing a hand on his friend's shoulder and flashing a warm smile at him.

it'll be alright, jane. just you wait.