Searching For Love

Chapter 14

I quickly pulled away from Will, and looked up at him.

"What are we doing, Will?" I whispered.

"What do you mean?" He asked softly.

"This. You staying at my house. In my bed. With me. Kissing me. What is it?" I asked lightly.

Will looked down at me with something I couldn't read. He looked so beautiful. Too beautiful. Will was so beautiful, that I didn't even know how to put it into words. No one could ever capture his beauty just right, because it wasn't just one thing, it everything about him. The way he was always so flirty, the way he always tried to make everyone laugh, all of it. Beautiful.

"Why do you think, Tessa?" Will whispered, tracing circles on my arm. "Why do you think I'm here?"

"Because you wanted to give me back my phone?" I guessed.

He started to laugh, and shook his head. "Do you really not see it?"

"See what?" I echoed.

"I -- I'm love with you, Tessa, and I have been since the moment I met you." Will stuttered.

My heart dropped to my feet, and my eyes widened. He loved me. Will loved me. After all this, he really did love me.

"I -- I love you, too." I found myself saying.

His eyes widened, and he started to lean in. I then felt a sinking feeling in my stomach. I had to leave him. Why oh why, did I have to tell him how I felt? Stop Tessa, I told myself, don't let him kiss you. But for once, I shut that voice up. I would let myself have one night. One night with Will.

His lips met mine, and he was on top of me in a second. Kissing Will couldn't be described in words. It was too amazing. His lips were soft against mine, though he kissed me hard. My hands roamed his body, his skin soft. Will leaned down and started to kiss and bite my neck, and I moaned his name.

"I love you so much, Tess." He whispered against my neck.

"I love you." I gasped, digging my fingernails into his back.

He trailed his lips up to mine again, and kissed me fiercely. His hands went around my back and unclipped my bra, and I slid it off. I wanted him so badly. Never in my life had I felt this before, the want and need for someone this badly. My panties were then off too, so were boxers.

"Shit, I don't have a--" Will swore.

"Bottom drawer of my bathroom." I replied.

He looked shocked. "You have them?"

"Yeah, don't ask." I waved it away.

Will then quickly got up and got a condom, slipped it on, and then he slowly entered me. I cried out in pain, and dug my fingernails into his back. After a few minutes the pain subsided, and Will started to move in and out of me.

"Oh my god, Will." I moaned loudly.

He buried his face into my neck, swearing from pleasure. After a few minutes, I was close and so was he.

"I love you." Will groaned, pulling his face away from my neck.

His words sent me over the edge, and I came, shouting his name. Will followed me a second later, groaning my name. He pulled out of me, after we both caught our breath. Will told me he loved me one last time, but I didn't reply. I was already asleep.

* * *
I woke up the next morning, my head on Will's chest. I smiled to myself, and looked up at him. He was already looking down at me, his blue eyes bright. His arms were around me, our legs tangled together.

"Good morning." He grinned.

I blushed. "Good morning."

Will leaned down and kissed me, and I happily kissed him back. After a few minutes, Will switched us so he was on top of me. My fingers tangled in his hair, and I felt drunk on him. Suddenly, reality set back in. I can't be with him. I quickly pulled away from him, and Will looked confused. I quickly sat up, and turned away from him. Oh god, what had I been doing!? I knew I couldn't be with him!

"Tessa? Are you okay?" Will asked.

"I can't do this." I whispered.

I started to tug my clothes back on, and he did the same.

"What do you mean?" He asked, once we were both dressed.

I turned to face him. "This. I'm sorry, Will, I can't do it."

He looked stricken. "But -- but you said that you loved me."

I felt tears well in my eyes. "I do love you. God, I love you, but I can't. And it's not you - you're perfect, and I--" I broke off.

"I just can't." I whispered, a tear falling down my cheek.

"You don't actually love me, do you?" Will asked, looking heartbroken.

"No! No, I love you." I exclaimed.

"Then why?" He asked, walking closer to me.

"I -- I can't tell you. You wouldn't understand." I replied.

"No, I do." Will started flatly. "You don't love me. You sleep with me, tell me you love me, and then say you can't be with me."

He shook his head. "Wow, Tessa. Wow."

"Will, it isn't like that." I said, a tear running down my cheek.

He stared at me for awhile, and then sighed. "Okay, okay I believe you. Just tell me, why can't you be with me?"

"I can't. I wish I could, but I can't." I whispered sadly.

Will was silent for awhile, and then finally spoke. "You know what's sad?"

I couldn't bring myself to speak, so I remained silent.

"That I'll still love you. I'll love you until the day I die, and long after then. You could tell me you hated me, and I'd still love you. God Tessa, I've never felt this way about anyone, I didn't think I could, I--" He broke off abruptly, looking pained.

I only stared at him, not believing his words. He walked right up to me, and cupped my face.

"I'll wait for you, Tessa. I'll wait for you to be ready." His blue eyes searched my face. "I'll always wait for you."

I slowly removed his hands from my face, crying. "You can't. You have to move on."

Will looked as if I had slapped him. We stared at each other for a moment, and then he stormed out of my room. I heard the front door slam, and his car start. I numbly sat down on my bed, tears streaming down my face. God, I wanted to be with him so badly. That was easily the hardest thing I had ever done in my life.

For the first time in my life I wished that I wasn't a witch.