Sugar Rush || Completed

{ 13 } cream filled crepes

{ 13 } cream filled crepes

I felt cold. I had on a fuzzy coat and warm clothes and gloves on but still felt cold. I tried to focus on the fact that I was feeling cold rather than on the words I was saying. If I focused on the words I was saying, I would start crying. And if I started crying, I would realize that I had no more tears left in me to cry.

"Juliette Palomer was many things. She was a mother, a wife, a caretaker, an excellent baker-"

I elicited a few smiles from that.

"But most importantly, she was a source of light that touched all of our lives. She was our friend. Every day, she would walk around spreading her positivity to everyone. And to each of us, her positivity looked different. To me, she was a mother. She didn't have to; she could have just left me in the children's home. But she didn't. She took care of me and taught me how to spread my positivity to the world through baking. That was the part of her she shared with me."

I took another deep breath. I focused on how I could see my breath. I didn't dare look into the audience because I knew they were crying.

"In her will, she requested to be cremated-" Deep breath. "-and that her ashes be spread over the lake in the park. She asked this because she didn't want a 'proper' grave because that forces people to only remember her as dead. She wanted people to look at the things she's made and the people she's loved, and remember how much she loved life and wants the rest of us to do the same."

There was no mistaking the sniffling coming from the attendees in their chairs. The wind blew softly as I stepped down from the podium. A funeral assistant handed me a glass bowl with the ashes and I walked down the middle of the aisle made by the collection of chairs in the grass. The rest of the attendees followed me in an orderly fashion until we reached the lake. I took a deep breath and uncapped the lid off the glass bowl. It took a few seconds for the wind to pick up the ashes. And took a few more seconds for the wind to spread out all the ashes.

After the ashes were all spread out, I could hear the attendees shuffle to leave. I closed my eyes and counted to ten. Then counted to ten again, and again.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and quickly turned around.

"I'm so sorry for your loss, cariño," Luis stood behind me, very somber in a crisp grey suit, deep purple tie, and clean shaven.

"Stop calling me that," I said in monotone.

"Calling you what?"

"Cariño," I say, trying to imitate his voice. I clearly failed because he smiled really wide at my attempt. "And another thing, I don't remember specifically inviting you."

"You can be thankful to your friend Jasmin for my attendance. She was also the one who called me over to help you when your grandmother had a stroke and fell."

I nodded.

He continued, "I came to pay my respects, and see if you were okay. Are you okay?"

"No."

Luis frowned, his eyes very sympathetic. "I figured. I also came to let you know that if you ever need anything, don't hesitate to call." He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a Sugar Rush business card. Next to the shop number was his personal number written in his slanted handwriting.

I took the card and folded it. "Thanks, but I think I'll stick to the people who shared Grandmère with me for almost as long as I have."

Luis had an unreadable expression as he bit his lip and stuffed his hands in his pockets awkwardly.

I turned around and stared back at the lake. "Unless there are other things you want to talk about, there are light snacks at the tables near the podium," I said softly.

I heard him shuffle around for a few seconds before leaving. I took a deep breath in and out and figured I still didn't have any tears left to cry.

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