Are We Out Of The Woods Yet?(A Taylor Swift Adoption Story)

A flight to Nashville

Taylor's POV:

I flip open my laptop and take a sip of Diet Coke. Everyone has finally settled down and now the plane is silent. We all boarded and took off about a half and hour ago, and now we're on our way to Nashville.

After much persistence I finally got Amara to lie down in the row across from me. From the second we took off she had had her face pressed against the window just marveling at the sight before her. I literally had to peel her off the glass in order to get her to sleep.

As I watch her eyelids flutter from her dream I can't help but smile. Amara asleep is an adorable thing to witness. When she's awake, it can seem more that she's 14 then 6, but when she's asleep, that sassy layer disappears and what remains is a quiet type of serenity which reveals exactly how little she is.

Moving my head up, I turn my gaze to the two little lumps that have positioned themselves around her. Mere and Olivia are quietly snoozing with her and it's a scene that is just too cute to handle. Every time Amara stirs a little or moves around, the cats snuggle around her until she falls back asleep.

After gazing a while longer, I shift my attention back to my laptop and click on an email from Lily. When the meeting with Maxine happened the other day, Amara was noticeably upset because the tutoring program wouldn't allow her to go to school and make friends. I know that this doesn't exactly fix that problem, but I thought a play date with Lilly's daughter Dixie might maybe improve her self esteem and mood. Plus Dixie is homeschooled too so maybe talking to Dixie will get Amara more excited about this homeschooling thing.

And what if they ended up as friends? That would be fantastic. As much as she tries to hide it, she's lonely, and when Amara gets lonely, she turns to plotting and planning. It also doesn't help that I'm going to be leaving her at my parents house for two weeks due to a business meeting discussing how to address Kanye's recent disgusting music video. I just wish that guy would leave me alone.

I haven't told her about this meeting and frankly I'm scared to...A bored Amara is a dangerous Amara and there is no saying what she might come up with if she doesn't have something to do.

I'm terrified of her holding everything in for two weeks. I continue to be the only person she's told about her nightmares and I'm scared she's going to get them when I'm gone and there's going to be nobody there to comfort her. She is very guarded and cautious with her emotions and I know that if she wants to hold something in, she'll be able to. Which is a bad thing.

I don't want to leave her and I tried all my options with my mom and dad the other day but I need to be at that business meeting and it would not be good for her to come back with me. She's been thrown into an awful lot awful fast and my biggest fear is her snapping under the tension. For that reason I don't want her in New York and near Maxine or the paps for at least a week.

Karlie will be in Nashville next week for a photo shoot and Lily is already there with Dixie for a vacation. To be honest, if it weren't for them being there I'm pretty sure I would've just cancelled the meeting. This meeting means a lot but Amara is more important. If she needs me I'm going to be there for her. I know she already loves Karlie, and I'm sure she'll love Lilly too once she meets her, so at least she'll have someone she's comfortable around. She's very polite and respectful to my parents but it's obvious to me that she's not comfortable around them.

Taking a deep breath I finalize my plans with Lilly before closing the laptop. As much as I try to act calm for Amara's benefit, this whole fostering period is stressful. Amara makes it all worth it of course, but the few days in which I've had her have really opened my eyes to what my friends go through with their kids on a daily basis.

The paparazzi are relentless. I can handle them because I'm used to it, but Amara is literally thrown into a situation in which she has no idea how to handle on a daily basis. She may be good at hiding her emotions, but fear is very very hard to hide and I see her face consistently turn into an expression of horror at the very thought of having to go out and face them.

That fear makes her not want to ever leave the apartment, and when she's cooped up for too long she gets cranky and flips out at anyone who comments on her crankiness. I love books as much as the next person but this girl has literally read everything there is to read in the house out of sheer boredom. Then there's Maxine who makes everything worse by consistently reminding her of Syria and how different she is.

She's six.

She needs to be able to go out and play on the playground and make friends without odd men sticking cameras at her wherever she goes. She tends to be naturally antisocial because of her IQ smarts and Syria problems, and I don't want that to progress. Nashville will hopefully give her three weeks of normalcy. Oh I can't wait to get home.

I snap out of my daydream as the little ball of blankets in front of me shifts.

She's waking up.

One arm pokes out followed by another and soon I'm greeted to a mess of wavy brown hair and piercing green eyes. The cats go scurrying off the seat and she yawns before locking eyes with me.

"Well Taylor I'm pretty sure that nap was an hour long... Can I please work on that workbook prerequisite thing now?"

Oh my sassy six year old.

She gives me Bambi eyes as I smile and pull the workbook out of my purse along with a pencil. Gently sweeping her hair behind her head I fasten it into a ponytail before handing her the workbook and pencil. Taking a sip from my Diet Coke I settle down in my seat to watch her as she starts furiously solving problems.

One hour and 13 minutes until we reach Nashville.