Are We Out Of The Woods Yet?(A Taylor Swift Adoption Story)

Secrets and Orange Jumpsuits

Amara's POV

I'm clutching the phone so tightly that my hand is literally white.

The overwhelming shock resulting from the decision I just made has left me speechless.

It all started this morning when I called Maxine and asked (more so begged)to go visit my dad at the prison.

I didn't tell Andrea or Scott or Austin or Taylor. In hindsight I should have..

I got into Maxine's car, told the security it was Austin, and went to meet my dad.

As I've said previously, Austin isn't exactly babysitting me and Scott and Andrea are at work; which made going to the prison (and essentially sneaking out)that much easier.

My dad.. my poor poor dad.. I can't help but feel that maybe some of this whole situation was my fault. If I hadn't complained about being hungry, he never would've stepped out to get food and we probably never would've ended up in this situation.

Maxine leads me to a tiny barred room which is equipped with a table. After telling me to wait, she exited the room. It was not five minutes later before I heard an emotional voice say my name.

"Amara".

My father stood there with tears threatening to stream down his checks as he repeated my name over and over.

"Papa.. Oh my gosh.. papa!!"

To say he was unrecognizable would be an understatement.

He was noticeably thinner and sickly. I watched him walk in and tried my best not to cry. My strong proud father slouched in his orange prison suit and his hands were bound together by handcuffs. He had a purple scar across his face that wasn't there before and in a raspy voice he told me that he had earned only fifteen minutes to talk with me. I leaned into him and stood there as the guards undid the handcuffs.

His normally sparkling eyes were dull and he hugged me so tightly; it was as if he really couldn't believe it was actually me he was seeing. I hugged him back with the same emotion.. If I could have stayed there forever I would have. We hugged each other for the longest time; neither of us could bear to let go of the other.

He smelled of metal and his jumpsuit was musty.. I started to ask him how he'd been but he didn't answer me.

As he talked I couldn't help but notice everything that had changed.. He seemed very ill which was no doubt caused from being stuck in a prison; and his confidence, the way he swung his head back when he laughed and the way he raised his eyebrows at me...

Those quirks were gone.

We spoke in Hindi rather than English as both he and I knew who was carefully observing from outside. I had never hated Maxine more..and that included the time when she made Taylor cry.

In fifteen minutes he explained everything he could about how we ended up in this situation. He had disappeared from the apartment to get groceries and was caught by the CIA at Whole Foods. My strong father cried as he told me that they had known about us and our status as illegal immigrants. They used that to imprison him and come after me. My dad was the one person who used to yell at me for crying but on this day he did. My heart shattered into a million pieces and I had to coach myself not to break down too.

He went on to tell me how proud he was of me and painstakingly he told me how much I was starting to look like my mother.

That very nearly pushed me to tears.

I never mentioned Taylor in the conversation.. I don't know why but I couldn't. Instead my dad filled the conversation with advice and more sentiments before a guard yanked him out of the room at an alarmingly fast rate. The last thing I heard before he was gone was a strangled "I love you".

I screamed and ran to the door, pulling as I hard as I could, but it was no use. Tears poured down my face and I finally was able to control them as best as I could. Maxine chose to enter at this time and I ran at her before I noticed her expression. She was smirking.

I wasn't going to get in trouble for assault. I was better than this.

Instead I asked her a very simple question;Which was to have a consequence far greater than I could imagine at the time.

"Maxine what can I do to get him out?"
______

Fast forwarding back to now, I'm shaking as I place the phone next to me on the floor. I don't think I've ever cried this much in a day.

Maxine agreed to grant him a green card and release him if I went into the CIA Academy program, and I just told her I would do that. The green card would mean that my father would get citizenship to the U.S.. he would be able to settle down somewhere..he would be safe and comfortable. I.. I had to make this decision to go into the program.. I couldn't let him suffer anymore.

I crumple to the floor and endlessly sob at what this now means. She said that she'll be over to pick me up in a week, and she fax-ed me paperwork which I signed and sent back to her.

This means that Taylor Swift will only be my foster mother for a week longer. After that my life is basically in the control of the CIA. I have just released control of my life to Maxine.. but my dad will be safe. That's what's important to me.

I may never see Taylor again.. Maxine told me that there would be a contract. I'm going to be relocated to a different state.. I can't.. who am I going to go to when I'm upset? I've grown so comfortable with Taylor.. I love Taylor..

Amara you can. Your dad has done everything for you and you're acting like this?

I'm not going to tell Taylor until the day of.. She most likely won't even be back by that time so I'll only have to face her family..and Lily.. and Karlie.

What have I done.. I really do hope Taylor understands that I didn't really have a choice. I had to do this. Gosh I'm going to miss her more than words can describe. I wish she could come back and fix this but I know she can't. If I tell Taylor she'll try to do something about it and my dad will most likely remain in prison.

In a fit of sadness I call Taylor and leave a distraught voicemail about what happened yesterday because I...I don't even know.. maybe she'll come home?!...Yesterday is still in issue that's pressing on my mind, but it's nothing compared to what I've just done. This is the biggest secret I have had yet to keep.

I drop the phone for the second time today and turn it on mute. Curling up on the floor I start to cry some more. Amara. Pull yourself together. This is for your father.. You had to do this.

As much as I try to tell myself to stop crying, I simply can't; so I lay on the floor of Taylor's room in a ball and sob my eyes out.