he managed to convince himself that he was fine without her. those few months that had gone by without even the thought of her brought him closer and closer to her becoming just a memory. he was willing to forget. and he didn't even imagine that the day he would see her again would come.
it was merely a coincidence. it was almost as if he had planned taking the same train as her, but he didn't. he even forgot to think about her, until the moment he saw her again.
he never realized how much time had passed until he glanced up at the calendar beside the tv. may 3rd, the night after their new music released. he expected all of the members to be gathered at their dorm, or at least out working together, but alas, he was alone.
he felt like shit.
he told himself he was fine without her. in seoul was where he was meant to be, not down in busan with his heart stinging for the girl he had so much admiration for. he was happy for a moment, writing and recording music. he was doing well. she was almost nothing special anymore, almost forgotten. his indifference could have lasted even further — maybe because he was so busy, or because he was hurt.
absence filled the room. on his sofa was where he sat, with soju in his hand and the tv on across from him. any bystander would have assumed that the alcohol was a favorite of his by the amount of empty bottles on the table, but that wasn't the case at all. jungkook didn't have that much of a liking to soju, in fact he despised the taste. he just figured it was the best thing that could get him fucked up.
he didn't pay much attention to the tv, either. too busy glancing at his phone every few minutes to even care about the news. he was exhausted, hadn't slept at all the night before and was losing this night's sleep again.
jungkook blankly stared at the front door, swearing to himself that she was going to come, until he realized he was only blinded by his longing for her. again. he caught himself a few times, reminded himself that he was drinking way too much when he began telling himself not to sleep in case eunseo came.
he kept waiting — for what seemed like hours. and he drank for what seemed like forever. when he shut his eyes he could almost feel her warmth beside him, but when he opened them only dust remained. bottles on top of bottles only lead him to the verge of passing out, and it brought a pain to his chest trying to hold back his vomit.
sitting there alone made him suffer even worse than her not being there. he would've endured a lot better with at least someone there sulking alongside him. wouldn't have minded even if jimin was within his reach.
a buzzing erupted from the coffee table in front of him, and without looking at the caller id he immediately answered, "eunseo?"
"jungkook," a male voice spoke — namjoon, specifically — and jungkook immediately eased off. "yes?"
the older sighed, "are you drinking?"
"yes."
"again?"
"no, not again." jungkook sneered, attempting to sound a lot more sober than he really was.
"well, whatever it is, quit drinking. drink some water. we don't want to come home to you drunk and disgusting."
"yes, i understand."
"okay —"
"but, wait, namjoon. can you do a tiny favor for me?"
—
a/n: y'all don't even KNOW how much shit is about to go down later on no lie. so let's just enjoy this moment of peace and LOOK AT MY BOYS!!!
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