The Arrangement

The Arrangement_31

{Lila's POV}

After I spoke with Dixon, in frustration I threw my iPhone off the balcony of the third story apartment.

When I went back inside I thanked my best friend for opening her home to me, and after much persuasion that I was "fine," I packed up all of my stuff and left.

I got a hotel room and paid for the first two weeks up front.

When I got into my room I cried.

. . .

I cried for a week straight, I was nothing now.

My husband won't fight for our relationship ( not that it was a great marriage from the get go), I'm sure my parents think I'm a failure, my friends probably think I'm an idiot to have put up with something like Dixon cheating on the night before our wedding.

I should have known it, the whole situation that occurred the night before our wedding was obviously a warning. who knows how many other women there was?

I was lucky I had vacation time to spare so I didn't have to worry about my job, but of course it was time to go back and face reality.

I dragged myself out of the bed and cringed at the feel of my stiff body, my bones cracking as I walked. I stopped and looked at the woman staring back at me in the mirror.

But I knew fully well that women is me.

The woman staring back looked paler, her face slightly gaunt from a dip in weight due to lack of an appetite. Her eyes darkly bruised and bloodshot caused by the mixture of crying and slight insomnia. The hair on her head was matted in some places and sticking up in others, her clothes looked disheveled and extremely worn in.

I picked up the toothbrush and went about mindlessly performing the side to side motion as the minty toothpaste cleaned the stale taste out of my mouth.

My shower was long because I was trying to wash all of my harsh reality from the past week away.

I did my best to look as normal as possible and even practiced a few "smiles" in the mirror, I also opted for a fresh face because I couldn't trust my emotions and didn't want black streaky mascara and eyeliner to go along with my raccoon eyes.

"Hello Mrs Loveless, I hope you had a good vacation." Clarissa The perky receptionist sounded with her optimistic smile.

I tried to mirror her but failed horribly, especially when she mentioned my name.

I suppose I still am Mrs Loveless.

I walked passed her and made my way to my little cubicle.

I got a couple more 'heys' and then my boss came over.

"Aww honey, you look terrible." She said. A little too honestly, and here I thought I was doing pretty good on saving face. "You want a Xanax or a Valium?" She asked with concern.

"No thank you." I said bewildered at her looseness with pills.

"You know a lot of people thought something had happened to you." she continued.

I rolled my eyes, people love to gossip.

"Well whatever it is I hope your okay, and here," she said as she held out a stack of papers. "Your messages while you were away."

I took the papers and she walked away.

I went through each page, there had to be about thirty or so, all from my parents, my friends, my mother in law and even Dixon.

I sighed and held back tears as a huge lump formed in my throat.

I picked up my office phone and called my mother.

"Hello?" She asked after the third ring

"Hi mom."

"Lilliana, oh god I thought something horrible had happened to you. We called your office and they said you had been checking in via e-mail but they wouldn't give us any more information than that." She cried.

"Mom I'm alright I'm just..." I sighed, I couldn't tell her I was a complete mess and I was spiraling into a depression and also seriously thinking about taking my boss up in that offer of a Xanax. "I don't know mom, I guess I just needed to figure some stuff out, a little alone time to reflect."

"Well I don't blame you." She said sounding a little more like herself only slightly angry.

I groaned internally, "Did Dixon tell you?" I asked judging by her tone.

"No it was Abby." Now I really wanted to bang my head against my desk, it was my mother in law who told my parents about mine and Dixon's Seperation. "Trust me baby I just as upset as you are."

"Mom I'm sorry I-"

"Don't start blaming yourself, it was us, Abby and I, I pushed you to choose that man and for what?"

"He was a good man" I defended. While Dixon and I had our disagreements and he did cheat on me he was still my husband, I still cared a little about him. It's a little hard not to get defensive when I put my all into my marriage.

"Sure, he was good, too bad he was too lazy to get his ID updated every once in awhile."

Now I was confused.

"Mom wh-"

"Baby I'll talk to you later, better yet come for dinner, but I gotta go, I'm headed into the doctors office right now."

She hung up before I could say another word.

I looked around to make sure no one was watching me use the company's phone to make personal calls and then I dialed my best friend.

"Lila?" She answered with a sigh of relief, "we've all been so worried."

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that. But Elise, what the hell is going on?"

"Well a few days ago You and Dixon received a letter from your wedding officiants office, apparently the officiants ID was expired meaning his documents with the county were invalid and therefore your marriage isn't legal."

If I hadn't already been sitting down I would have been stumbling for a seat.

"Wh-what are you saying?" I asked in a daze.

"Lila, you and Dixon are not married, you never were."