Northern Downpour || Phan AU

Chapter 4

Phil



That night I laid in my bed for hours, sleepless. The noise of the clock was the only thing to keep me company in my pitch black room. Even the moon wasn't shining through the window this night. I didn't have insomnia, I just had some nights where I couldn't seem to fall asleep, even though I was exasperated.
I had shaken away the feeling that I was falling in love. It was stupid.

I didn't get the feeling in my gut, the one everyone were usually talking about, and how would I even know how it feels like, if I've never felt it?

People were always talking about how light and worry-free they felt, but I didn't get that feeling. I was just like I was before, my body felt the same, my mind felt the same.

It could have been the fact that I just made a new friend, which hasn't happened since, well since pre-school to be honest.
So no, I wasn't in love, I was excited to have a change in my life.



I didn't get sleep that night, and it was evident.

I looked extraordinary pale and my eyes were slightly pink, which made me look slightly like a zombie.

I was supposed to meet up with Dan in an hour, he said he has an idea of what we could do for fun and not to lie, I was a little scared. His idea of fun could be the complete opposite of mine and I didn't like that.

Walking out of my room, dressed in a light blue t-shirt and a pair of black jeans, I made my way down the stairs to the kitchen to grab a quick snack before leaving the house.

It would take at least twenty minutes to walk to the spot where we decided to meet up, so I had to sort of hurry a little.

Closing the front door, I felt the warmth from the sun against my bare arms. I was praying that Dan didn't have anything like swimming in mind for today.

I walked quickly, because I didn't want to be late and if I was I wouldn't even be able to call or anything since we didn't exchange phone numbers yet.

I wasn't far away now, and I could see him standing there, waiting, in the distance. It was awkward to just walk towards him like that, so I picked up my phone from my pocket and pretended that I was texting someone, until I got close enough to shout a 'hey'.

Dan walked slowly in my direction to meet me halfway.

"Hey, you ready to go?" He smiled and I nodded.

"Where are we going?" My curiosity took over.

"Skatepark." Dan spoke happily. I gave him a fake smile thinking to myself that I had never even stood on a skateboard before in my life, and he was probably a professional skater. I would only humiliate myself, however I didn't say anything about it yet.

"I don't have a skateboard though." I mentioned, and then I realized Dan didn't have one with him either.

"Don't worry! You can borrow one over at the skatepark." He assured me.

Damn. I was hoping I wouldn't have to do it.

I tried to stay positive. How bad could it actually be? I probably wouldn't even know any of the people there so it's okay. Dan wouldn't make fun of me.



When we got there, it was empty, which kind of made me a bit suspicious.

"There's no one here." I pointed out and Dan nodded.

"Yeah I know. Chris and Pj are coming really soon though so don't worry."

"Why'd you invite them?" I asked. I thought he said they weren't people he'd like to hang out with?

"Just for fun. It's always fun with more people, Phil."

Now I was almost certain that they'd do something. They'd humiliate me and film it and put it up on youtube. Dan wasn't really my friend. It was all fake. Why else would he drag me to an empty skatepark with his two best friends?

I was scared but I decided not to leave yet. I followed Dan to a small building where he kept his skateboard and where I could borrow the one I would use.

Dan put his on the ground and stood on it, pushing himself away with his foot, but I was left standing there.

I put the board on the ground and looked at it. I carefully placed one foot on it, and then the other. 'What now?' I thought to myself.

I looked around, but I couldn't see Dan anywhere. He left me?

I suddenly felt a push on my back and the skateboard started to roll whilst I fell on the ground, hitting my arm.

"Shit I'm sorry I didn't mean to do that!" Dan exclaimed when he saw that I fell and walked over to me to help me up.

"It's fine." I said, half smiling. My arm hurt, but there was no blood.

"Oh look. Chris and Pj are here!" Dan pointed out and I turned my head in the direction that he was looking. "Guys!" Dan shouted.

Chris and Pj were already on their skateboard and I felt sick. I wanted to get out of there now.

Chris shot me a disgusted look and I quickly looked down on the ground, avoiding his glance.

"You guys ready?" Pj asked and both Dan and Chris nodded and stepped on their boards, whilst I just stood there, hoping they wouldn't notice me.

"You too, Lester." Chris commanded and I had no choice.

My whole body was shaking as I tried to keep my balance on the black board beneath my feet.

"Let's go." Chris ordered and they all went off, rolling down the slopes, but I was still on the flat ground.

"Lester!" Chris shouted angrily at me and I had no choice but to do what he said, because I was scared. I knew this wouldn't end well, but what could I do.

I took a deep breath as I slowly rolled towards the border where the ground went downhill, making a hole.

I clenched my fists and closed my eyes. I knew they all were watching me. I knew I would regret this. Why did I even come?

I pushed myself off with one foot and crouched in an attempt to keep my balance.

The next thing I knew I was on the ground, and I heard people laughing. I felt a sharp pain in my left arm and my palms.

I opened my eyes and they were standing in a half circle around me. Chris had his phone out, Pj just laughed but Dan didn't do anything besides just standing there.

"What a loser!" Chris laughed and I stood up rapidly, holding my arm where it hurt.

"Thanks a lot. I knew we weren't really friends." I spat at Dan before turning around and walking away.

"Phil, no please, wait!" Dan tried but I didn't listen. I could hear him following me so I started running. I didn't want to talk to him. He made this on purpose. He made me go there with him and he faked it all. I was so naive.



Dan



"Phil, no please, wait!" I shouted but he didn't listen, instead he broke into a sprint and I knew that it was better to just leave him alone.

He probably thought that I did this on purpose, that I wanted to humiliate him but I didn't. regret not standing up for him but I was just speechless. Chris' and Pjs reactions made me speechless.

"Dude, come on. Let him go he's such a wimp!" Pj said laughing, but I didn't find it funny.

"Shut up. You're a wimp. What the hell was funny about that? What if he broke his damn arm? Stop fucking filming!" I almost lost my temper as I slapped Chris' phone out of his hand so that it landed on the concrete.

"Dan are you serious?" Pj asked.

I didn't know what to say to them anymore. I didn't have words left. Phil thought that I wasn't really his friend when all I wanted was to be his friend.

I walked away from the skatepark, and I went to Phils house.

I knocked on the front door, but no one opened.

Phil probably knew it was me.

"Phil!" I shouted through the door. "Phil please open the door we need to talk!"

I stood there for a few minutes, before I noticed a car pulling in to the driveway.

"Hello." A woman said as he closed the car door. "Who are you?"

"Uh I, I'm Phils friend. I think he's asleep and I have to talk to him about something very important for uh, a school project." I lied. I assumed that it was his mother, and she seemed nice and friendly, so hopefully she would let me in, and she did.

I walked up the stairs quietly and opened the door to Phils room, without knocking.

"Phil?" I asked and looked around, and there he was. Sitting on his bed, headphones on, playing video games. His arm was red from blood that he hadn't bothered to wash away.

I came closer to him and patted him on the shoulder, causing him to jump a little before pausing the game and taking the headphones off.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" He spat.

"Please let's talk?" I asked.

"There's nothing to talk about." Phil said coldly and turned his head to the screen again.

"Yes there is plenty to talk about Phil. Can you listen to me?" I asked and he sighed, annoyed, before turning to face me again.

"I swear the incident at the skatepark was not anything I had planned I swear please believe me! And we are friends, I didn't know that Chris and Pj would react like that and I certainly didn't know you can't skate!" I said, defending myself.

Phil was quiet, and didn't look me straight in the eyes.

I took a seat on Phils bed, next to him as I waited for him to say something.

"But you didn't do anything when they laughed at me and filmed it all. I can't go to school on Monday Dan. It's your fault. I've never been bullied before and now the whole school will make fun of me. I have always been fine just hanging out with my friends, being completely neutral, but then you came along all of a sudden and decided to befriend me and look what's happened." Phil explained, hiding his face in his hands.

I felt guilty, but what he said didn't change my mind about wanting to befriend him.

"I'll fix it I promise okay? I know it's my fault, but I will fix it." I tried but Phil shook his head as a sign of disbelief.

I placed my hand on his thigh to say that I was serious. Phil lifted his head and looked at me when he felt my hand on his leg and I gave him a weak smile.

"We're still friends, right?" I asked hopefully.

Phil didn't answer, and I have to admit, I felt something in my stomach that made me feel sick.

"Aren't we?" I tried again.

"Yeah, we are." He finally responded and I breathed out in relief.

"I really am sorry, Phil."

He kept looking down, playing with his hands. I repositioned my hand, and placed it on his instead, causing him to stop fiddling with them and looking at me.

"I said; I actually am sorry about today." I repeated and Phil quickly glanced down again.

I moved my hand away and the awkward silence between us was unbearable.

"It's okay." Phil whispered and I half smiled, biting my lip.



~monday morning~



I walked through the hallways again, but I couldn't find Phil.

Luckily, he would be in my first class, so I'd see him there.

We hadn't talked since Saturday, and I didn't know how he was doing, and I couldn't stop thinking about him ever since we last saw eachother. I was hoping he was okay.

I entered the classroom and there he was, sitting next to the window with an empty seat next to him which I decided to take.

"Hey!" I said as I sat down on the chair.

"Hi." Phil replied, half smiling at me. He didn't look too well.

"Something wrong?" I asked.

"Not at all." He said, but I could tell he was lying.

Phil turned his head away from me and looked out the window.

I grabbed his arm and stood up.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

"Come on." I smiled and I could see the look in his eyes that said that he didn't trust me at all, but how could I blame him.

Phil agreed with coming with me after all and I lead him to the empty corridor, where we both sat down on the floor.

"I come here whenever I feel down." I explained.

"Yeah, you've said that."

"Oh, right." I snorted. "Don't worry, Phil. No one is going to bully you."

"How can you be so sure?"

"I just am. Trust me. I know it's hard after what happened but believe me, I would never hurt you." I assured him and put my hand on his knee, looking him straight in the eyes.

Phil smiled and looked down.

"Are you blushing?" I asked, trying not to laugh too much.

"No" He denied.

"Yes you are! That's cute" I admitted and he smiled even more.

I couldn't help but smile as well.

"I trust you." He said and I nodded slowly, placing my hand on top of his this time.



Phil



Dan placed his hand on top of mine, and I could have sworn that I felt it. The feeling in my gut that everyone were always talking about. The one you get when you feel that you love someone so much. The feeling you get when you're falling in love.

My heart was beating fast and I hoped Dan wouldn't notice.

He stroked the top of my hand with his thumb and the feeling got stronger. What was he doing? Did he like me? My head was spinning.

I decided that maybe I should take a step forward too, so I turned my hand around and grabbed his in mine. Dan tensed up a little, and a surprised look appeared on his face.

For a second, I wasn't sure if what I had done was right, but when he soon relaxed and smiled at me, I didn't regret it. I was pleasantly surprised that Dan let me hold his hand though, and it made the feeling in my stomach even stronger.

Although, I still asked myself the same question. Was I in love?

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It'd be great if you guys could comment what you think about this story because I have a good idea for it and idk if u like it so idk if I should continue it :) <3