For the Insecurity (MakoHaru AU)

Chapter 12-9.21.15

I wonder if Haru's in there... Makoto thought to himself as he bicycled to school. He had just passed the market where he met Haru out of school for the first time. I should go check...

Or you know, I could also not check since this is really none of my business knowing if he's in there or not. Makoto aggressively pedaled faster, refusing to let his soft side get the best of him.

Then again, he didn't want any side of his front to get the best of him.

As the brunette got to school, he was drowned in the hundreds of students that begged for his attention. Makoto took a deep breath (which he covered by sighing exasperatedly) and pushed past them all, eager to go to his first class. That was the only class he had with Haru. 

As usual, I would ignore him, Makoto told himself, planning his approach to Haru. And he would try to talk to me. I won't talk to him, like I'm mad at him. If I don't tease him like I would do usually, he'll get concerned, and will try to talk to me after class or even follow me after school.

Using this method, we might even get to share a kiss or two!

"Tachibana, you alright?" Kisumi asked, accompanying the brunette to his class. "Your face is red." 

Makoto huffed. "So will yours if you don't shut up."

"But it looks kinda hot..."

"Duh, I'm the only good-looking one here."

"No I meant-"

"You're getting real annoying." Makoto grumbled.

Kisumi sighed. "I guess it can't be helped."

The pink-haired boy accompanied Makoto to his first class. He made fun of a few students crowding around Makoto before leaving the brunette alone and going to his own class. Makoto pushed everyone aside and sat in his seat, glaring at anyone that came towards his direction. He began twirling his pencil, waiting for Haru to walk in.

When he did, Makoto was surprised that Haru wasn't smiling. The dark-haired boy wore a nonchalant expression and was reading a book. He didn't flirt with Makoto, or did anything like he usually would.

What's with him? Makoto thought to himself, watching Haru's serious side. Why isn't he acting like he normally would?

Wait... he can't be ignoring me too can he? No! He's the one that kissed me first, I should be the one that's ignoring him. He should be the one apologizing and flirting with me.

Wait, that logic is stupid. Makoto rethought, mentally slapping himself. I can't expect Haru to be nice to me when I'm being mean to him. I can't ask for attention when I act so stuck up.

Wait a minute, I am like that... I do ask for attention from everyone. But I don't feel obliged to give them any back. If anything, I shun them for it.

Anyways, I shouldn't ask for Haru's attention, even though I desperately want it. After all, he's just one person right? I could easily get attention from everyone if  I wanted to.

Again, his chest began burning. Makoto still hasn't yet figured out why it kept happening. He could only conclude that it was because he wasn't getting the attention he wanted.

Makoto looked over at Haru, who still had a book pulled out. The dark-haired boy seemed more content with ignoring Makoto than Makoto ignoring him.

The brunette's heart began burning even more. He wanted Haru to talk to him more than anything.

--

"Hey, Tachibana, I'm hosting a party and-"

"Not interested."

"Tachibana! Would you like to-"

"No."

"But you didn't even listen to what I had to say..."

"I don't associate myself with downgrades sorry."

"Tachibana..."

"Crying won't make me change my mind."

"Tachibana!" Rin shouted, beckoning the brunette to join him.

"What is it," Makoto sighed, walking away from the crying girl.

"You just made a girl cry."

"It's not my fault that she's a crybaby," Makoto shrugged, scratching his neck.

"Do you ever accept any party invitations?"

"No."

"Why?"

Because then my mom would have to drive me there and I can't be nice when my friends are around, Makoto thought.

"Because it's stupid." Makoto responded. "I'd be forced to talk to other people that I don't like."

"I guess that's true." Rin agreed, as the two sat on their lunch table.

Kisumi and Sousuke joined the two, and the four ate their lunch while Makoto insulted anything the three talked about. As Kisumi talked about basketball, Makoto zoned out.

It was then that he couldn't help but to hear Nagisa's and Rei's newbie table.

"Thank you so much!" A young girl bowed down, at Nagisa and Rei.

"It's what we do," Rei grinned.

"Have fun at volleyball!" Nagisa exclaimed, waving goodbye to the blonde.

"Where's Hitoka going?" A sweet voice asked, none other than Haru's.

Makoto had longed to hear the dark-haired boy's voice for the whole day, so his ears perked up and turned a slight shade of red.

"Hitoka is going to join the girl's volleyball table!" Nagisa explained, almost like a proud parent.

Haru nodded. "I'll have to leave you too I guess."

Makoto couldn't make out what Rei whispered to Haru, but he noticed how their eyes looked towards his table. It was a dead giveaway it was something they didn't want Makoto hearing about.

"I don't know if I should or not," Haru responded, uncertainly.

"You'll be fine! Nothing to be afraid of!" Nagisa promised, but then lowered his voice to say something else.

"N-No it's not that," Haru blushed. "It's a bit complicated and I don't think I can explain it that well to you yet."

"But you really love swimming don't you?" Nagisa asked. "I heard you reached the nationals once!"

Haru shrugged. "Some things have higher priorities."

"Ooh," Nagisa smirked. "I don't know what you're doing but I totally support you."

"But you don't have all year," Rei reminded. "You still need to either befriend the boy's swimming team table, or some of those jock clusters."

"I'm still trying," Haru let out a weak smile.

"This meat tastes like crap," Kisumi complained, snapping Makoto out of it.

"Of course you would know what crap tastes like," Makoto snickered, followed by Rin and Sousuke.

"You're cold," Kisumi sighed, smiling.

The conversation trailed off to swimming, where Rin was fat-shaming a few swimmers in his team. It reminded Makoto of Haru wanting to join the swim team.

Haru can't join the swim team without a high social standard, Makoto recalled. But from what I've seen or heard, he only opens up to me and that newbie table. How will he be able to sit at the swimming table?

Oh wait, I'm also an option. If he's friends with me, the coach will immediately let him on the team! So that's what he's doing!

I knew it! Haru isn't any different. They all want something different from me. Haru just wants my friendship so he can get on the swimming team. Boy, was I fooled.

Although Makoto felt relieved finding an answer, his chest still felt conflicted. The annoying burning feeling inside of him was bothering the brunette, and he still didn't understand why it happened.